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And just one more sign of spring…..’The Spring Home and Garden Show’, Lansdowne Park! This year the ‘Dock Dogs’ will be at the show, check out the Dock Dogs at www.dockdogs.com. These are dogs that jump off docks, into water, and they travel everywhere to compete against each other for the biggest jump. This Saturday, I will be in a jump-off against the Dock Dogs. I’m up for the challenge. I think I’m more worried about being in a bathing suit in public.
After I jump in the pool, I’m going to go up to the nearest person and shake all the water off right onto their clothes.

I love the Home and Garden Show. I’ve been working on my flower garden for about 9 years now, making every mistake I can possibly make. At the Home and Garden show, the most amazing gardens are put together just for the show, indoors, complete with ponds, gazebos, water fountains, etc. These gardens are in place for just 4 days. I wish I could have a helicopter air-lift one of these gardens and transplant it at my place.

The big trend right now is ‘outdoor living rooms’. Blurring the lines between ‘indoors’ and ‘outdoors’. The idea is that our ‘outdoor room’ has furniture, art pieces, an outdoor fireplace, etc. The only difference with the ‘outdoor room’ is that there is the possibility of having bird poop on the couch. And I wonder how long it will be before they come up with a weather-proof giant screen plasma tv.

The ‘Terminator’ is coming to town! Arnold Schwarzennegger will be here at the end of May to talk about the environment, gas emissions, etc. I hear that he no longer drives a Hummer. With the possibility of extra tariffs on gas-guzzling vehicles, it looks like ‘Hummers’ are becoming one of the targets of the environmental movement.
My beef with a ‘Hummer’ is that it takes up three parking spots.

My Mom passed along something she saw on the Martha Stewart show. It sounds like fun, think I’ll try it. For Easter, you take a dozen eggs and wrap each egg with the outer shell from a red onion, using a twist tie to keep the onion on the egg. Then you drop the red-onion-covered-egg into boiling water and boil for 10 minutes. Let cool, take the onion off, and ‘shazam’! You have purple eggs! Then hide the purple eggs all over the house. Since these are real eggs, you may want to make sure you and the kids FIND all the purple eggs. Otherwise you may need

Pucker Up! Time to Kiss the Blarney Stone

Go to Barbados! Then once you’re in Barbados, go to Berts Bar!!! It is the absolute perfect combination for a Canadian! Escape winter, head to the sun and sand of Barbados, then, while in your t-shirts and shorts, with your face a wee bit sunburnt, go to Berts Bar by the ocean and watch the OTTAWA SENATORS kick the Toronto Maple Leafs’ collective butts! I highly recommend this vacation, as I just got back from doing that. Along with Sens army Captain Ryan Guthrie, his brother Murray, and a great group of people that gathered with Sens owner Eugene Melnyk and Bert himself, what a blast!!!!

Next to watching the Senators via satellite, one of my favourite excursions was the ‘Cool Runnings’ catamaran, loaded up with excitable party animals INCLUDING Spartacat himself! There’s something to be said for this visual: Spartacat clutching the steering wheel of a huge catamaran charting a course down the Barbados coast-line, his red hair flowing in the wind, a majestic Ottawa Senators flag flapping above him. That cat is the ultimate chick magnet.

I’ve had three animals on my ‘must see in their natural environment’ list. One is the wolf (yet to see), the humpback whale (yet to see) and the other was the ‘sea turtle’. Well, not only did we see sea turtles, we swam with sea turtles, and we even touched their backs gently, which they seemed to enjoy. Or maybe I just imagined them enjoying that. Come to think of it, their shells are as hard as a rock so petting a turtle was probably a useless exercise. To the turtle. For me, it was the thrill of the year. Now I just have to pet a wolf and a humpback whale.

Sitting at the Barbados airport waiting for our flight home, someone pointed out that Jean Beliveau was sitting in the airport lounge with his wife. The great Jean Beliveau himself! That was cool. Over the P.A, his name was announced to board the plane first, and when he stood up everyone burst into applause. A lesson to be learned here: if you work hard and become a highly regarded hockey player spanning an incredible career, you get to be the first on a plane.

St Pattys Day is on a Saturday this year!! That’s a wonderful thing…for the most part. But having St Pattys Day fall on a Saturday does mean that we will miss out on one thing: the people leaving their workplaces to head to a pub for a St Pattys Day lunch….a sea of career suits and skirts and dress blouses and shirts and heels….the intention is to have ‘one pint of Guinness’ then head back to the office….hah! By around 4 pm the shoes are off, the jackets are piled high on hooks, and the accountant is wearing a flashing neon ‘kiss me I’m Irish’ button. Happy St Pattys Day, and remember, before you kiss the Blarney Stone, find out where its been.

I’ve become absolutely hooked on a TV show that is no longer running. I used to watch ‘Arrested Development’ on occasion , before it was cancelled by the network. I think it was on FOX TV. Anyway, its now in syndication on CBC every day at 4:30 pm and I drop everything to watch it, because it is the funniest, most creative, most well written and acted show of all time. (or is that ‘most BEST written’?) I laugh out loud from beginning to end, on the couch, all by myself, unless you count my card-board cut-out of Mike Fisher. He loves Arrested Development too.

My name is Sandy and I'm a Costco-A-holic

Chicks rule, boys drool! That’s the first time I’ve ever used that saying. But somehow it seems to fit for this season’s ‘American Idol’. The women are amazing! The guys…not as amazing. This season there are going to be huge ‘celebrity guests’ on American Idol, which I find kinda amusing. You can be sure that Jennifer Lopez wouldn’t have touched American Idol with a ten foot pole on the first few seasons – but now that 37 million people are watching every week – she’s somehow signed on to the show. Every time they announce the ‘upcoming celebrity guests’ for American Idol, I get nervous. I’d shudder to think that one of my favourite musicians has signed on to the American Idol monster. So far, there are no signs of Bruce Springsteen, Steve Earle, Bob Dylan, U2, Neil Young, Jet, The Killers,
Ryan Adams, David Bowie or Chrissie Hynde appearing on American Idol. Phew!!!!

There was a story in the paper last week about Mayor Larry O’Brien bringing his dog to work every day. The story was somewhat negative, focusing on the fact that the Mayor’s driver was walking the dog a few times a day, and his salary is of course paid by Ottawa taxpayers. The driver said he walked Mayor O’Brien’s dog in his off-time, and he did it because he wanted to, not because he was expected to. So where’s the problem? I have always thought we should have a ‘Bring Your Dog to Work Day’, throughout the city!! Studies have shown that having your dog by your side while you work gives you a certain contentment, thus you are more productive. Plus, with a dog by your side, people are more likely to chat with you, making the workplace a more congenial atmosphere. What do you think? ‘Bring Your Dog To Work Day’! I think we’d have the Mayor’s blessing on this one. It would be fantastic! Everyone could bring their dog to work….with the possible exception of people who work in a cat daycare.

Congratulations to Ryan Guthrie, who was crowned the ‘Sens Army Captain’, and has won a trip to Barbados! Finalists Sean Urich and Beth Evans have also been awarded trips to Barbados, to enjoy the Sens – Leafs match-up from Berts Bar. Sens owner Eugene Melnyk surprised everyone with a trip! Good guy, that Mr Melnyk.
I met Eugene Melnyk and Bert Innis (from Berts Bar, Barbados) last week and they are what you call ‘salt of the earth’ people! Between periods of the Sens – Carolina game, Eugene and I talked horses. We have quite a bit in common when it comes to horses. Eugene owns 550 horses, and I have pictures of other people’s horses that I’ve taken from the side of the road.

I went to Costco the other day. I don’t have a membership but I went in on the coat-tails of my Mom’s membership. I needed to go to Costco because it’s the only place that sells these certain doggie treats that my dogs are crazy about. I promised myself that I would buy ONLY the dog treats, and nothing else. I would not get caught in the vortex of crazed spending that often occurs when you go to Costco. I did pretty well, I think. I bought 3 bags of dog treats. And a seven piece patio set.

Least Favourite Past-time: Shopping for a Bathing Suit

March 24, 2007: mark it on your calendar! It’s the Humane Society’s ‘Fur Ball’ ! This year it takes place at the beautiful National Gallery and the 4-course meal Is being prepared by chefs from the Prime Minister’s residence, the NAC, the Governor General, and more. It’s a fabulous evening with a ‘Mardi Gras’ theme, so bring your masks! There will be very unique auction items available, including a flight in a vintage de Havilland Beaver! For ticket information, see www.ottawahumane.ca!

Gotta get my car washed. Right now there is 3 inches of salt covering every inch of my car. I couldn’t even find my car in the grocery store parking lot the other day. It was completely camouflaged. My friend bragged to me that she got her car washed, hot wax, the works. It took exactly one drive to work for her car to look as dirty as it was before. Maybe I’ll just stick to what I’ve been doing……when I’m at the gas pump, I grab the windshield sponge-y thing and wipe down the car as fast as I can. Its temporary, but I saved $13.00 on a hot wax.

The Oscars are on tonight! I’m so glad that Ellen de Generes is hosting. I think she’s amazing. She always seems to be the same, naturally funny and nice, no matter who she’s interviewing, whether it’s a woman who has the world’s largest collection of Gumpy and Pokey memorabilia, or whether she’s talking to Barbra Streisand. Speaking of the Oscars, again another year goes by where I did not get out and see all the ‘best picture’ nominees. Actually, this year is my worst record yet. I’ve only seen ‘The Departed’ and ‘Babel’. Mostly because they both came out on DVD. I also saw ‘Borat’ but for some reason it was not nominated for best picture.

I’m very much looking forward to the Ottawa Senators game Wednesday night, February 28th, as they take on the Carolina Hurricanes. At that game, the winner is determined for the ‘Hockey Night in Barbados’ Contest! Three semi-finalists will show off their Sens Army Captain videos during intermissions. The winner will be crowned ‘Sens Army Captain’, and will enjoy a trip to Barbados – complete with bragging rights at BERTS BAR in Barbados to watch the Sens take on the Toronto Maple Laffs! The panel of judges for the contest Wednesday night will be Sens owner Eugene Melnyk, Bert Iniss of Berts Bar, and yours truly! I’ve never met Eugene Melnyk before but I hear he is fun and down-to-earth. Anyone who wears a Senators shirt with palm trees all over it has to be fun.

For any woman who is going on a trip down south this winter…I’m sure you can sympathize. Is there anything worse than shopping for a bathing suit? Bathing suit shopping is horrible. There is no bathing suit on the face of the earth for me. One piece, two piece, three piece. Do they make a bathing suit that looks like jeans and a sweatshirt?

Hot Tub People are Different

The concept behind ‘Pal-entines Day’ swept the city! Ok, well….maybe it swept 5 or 6 people. But everything has to start somewhere. In case you don’t know (which at this point is 99.9 percent of the population), Palentines Day appears on February 13th, day before that ‘other day’. Giving someone a ‘Palentines Day’ card means ‘hey, glad we are pals’. There is no pressure of romance or anything. You can give a Palentines Day card to anyone, even your best friend’s wife or husband! For those of us who didn’t get that many cards in grade 4 on that ‘other day’ that rhymes with Palentines….THIS DAY IS FOR YOU!!!!

My husband and I and another couple spent last weekend at Mont Tremblant. This was the result of a decision that we needed to make: buy some RRSP’s, or go skiing at Mont Tremblant. We chose the hill. Buying RRSP’s just isn’t as much fun! The accommodations were beautiful! There was an outdoor hot tub!!! All we had to do was put on our bathing suits and our Sorel winter boots, and walk about 4 minutes through the snow in –34 C temperatures, a bit chilly in your swimwear, but the pay-off was going to be amazing! When we arrived at the hot tub gate, it was of course, locked, to keep the riff raff out. But we had our room key which we confidently swiped to open the gate. Uh oh, the key didn’t work! The hot tub was filled with people that collectively looked the ‘other way’, ignoring our pleas for help! We weren’t going to give up! Help us, please! There’s a problem with our key! We are wearing bathing suits and boots and its –34C, -45 with the windchill! That’s when I noticed the looks on the hot tubs people’s faces. ‘WE’ were the ‘riff raff’! This hot tub was not for US! It was only for the people from room numbers 701 to 730! We were in room 690! The ‘700 block’ people would rather let us freeze to death than let us in the hot tub. We had no choice but to give up. There was a lesson to be learned here. Stay in school, graduate at the top of your class, make the right financial decisions, buy investments, buy RRSP’s! Then you can go into the hot tub!


I’ve shaved 3 minutes off my running time! I can now run 1.2 km in 15 minutes, according to my microwave timer. Two weeks ago the same distance took me 18 minutes. National Capital Race Weekend, here I come!!!



One of our listeners, Michael Milsom, challenged me to go skating on the canal during Winterlude. (I haven’t skated on the canal since I was a teenager!) He offered to donate $50.00 to BARK (Bytown Association of Rescued Kanines) www.bark-ottawa.com) …if I strapped on my skates and went for a whirl on the canal. The idea actually gripped me with fear. Its been so long since I skated, PLUS, I could never really skate anyway! But, having $50.00 go to one of my favourite charities was too much to pass up. So, Michael, fire off that cheque to BARK! I skated for 15 minutes on the canal yesterday, fell three times, and nearly took an eye out . Someone else’s eye. An out-of-towner, thank goodness, so I’ll never have to see him again.
I hope.

Its a bird! Its a plane! Its David Lee Roth!

Wow, there have been some weird match-ups in Hollywood lately. Scarlett Johannsen and Justin Timberlake. Matthew Perry and Meg Ryan. Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy. Heather Locklear and David Spade. For some reason, these all strike me as odd couples. Not ‘easy to see why they’re together’ couples like Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock…oh wait, bad example…Alanis Morrissette and Ryan Reynolds…oops, they’re finished too….Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe…they didn’t work out either. Come to think of it, just when we start getting used to seeing a celebrity couple together, boom! Its OVER! I wonder what Valentines Day is like in Hollywood. I’m holding out for some romantic news from the celebrity set. Keeping my fingers crossed that Tom Green and Drew Barrymore get back together.

Kudos to the Ottawa City Councillors who participated in the ‘Toque Tuesday’ challenge, hitting the streets to sell as many ‘Raising the Roof’ toques as possible. And thank you to Mayor O’Brien for buying the first toque, and his is definitely a head that needs a toque. For the month of February, these toques can be bought (just 10.00 each) at all Home Depot stores, downtown Starbucks and The Body Shop. All proceeds go to ‘Cornerstone’ womens shelter here in Ottawa.

I’ve taken up jogging. So far, I’ve set out to run 1.2 miles a day. I set the timer on the microwave then I run out the door and down the street until I reach the neighbourhood Super Mailboxes, then I turn around and run back. According to the odometer in my car, this is a distance of 1.2 miles. My running time for 1.2 miles is currently somewhere between 18 minutes and 16 minutes. My goal is to get it down to 14 minutes. Then I will be ready for National Capital Race Weekend.

Van Halen is getting back together! The Eagles are putting out a new album in the next couple of months. Genesis is going on tour. The Police are opening the Grammy Awards show. Don’t you just love what’s happening? I do!! I can’t wait to see these acts on the road. This could be another one of those years where my monthly Visa card bill looks like this:
Clothing: 0.00 Restaurants 0.00 Car Rental 0.00
Hotels 0.00 Tickets/Events $845.00. Oh well. Good thing I can get a refund now with my wine bottles!

Roman Numerals are Fun

Superbowl Sunday is coming up! Which, in my household, really doesn’t mean anything. I am not married to an NFL fanatic. Thank goodness! I do, however, like the commercials during the Superbowl. And, besides, the Superbowl itself is notorious for being a bad, lop-sided football game. Despite the huge fall-out from Janet Jackson’s ‘wardrobe malfunction’ a few years back, at least it was something a bit unexpected! It injected a bit of excitement into the game. Oh well, here comes Superbowl XXXIIIIIVIVIV! Go Bears go! Who’s the other team, anyway?

Why are roman numerals attached to the Superbowl?
Anyone? Is it because the players are ‘gladiators’? Which came first? Football or chariot races? And why aren’t roman numerals used more often? Roman numerals are cool. I have a friend who just had a birthday, she turned XXXIV. Remember that scary movie with Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman? I think it was called ‘VII’. Then there was that sitcom with Suzanne Somers, ‘III’s company’. See how much fun Roman Numerals are?!

Congratulations again to Adam Beach, our favourite Hollywood actor, who lives right here in Ottawa, but……..he’s going to have to start commuting to New York City! Adam recently signed on to a brand new role on Law and Order SVU! You may have seen the ‘pilot’ episode with Adam a couple of weeks back, where he played Brooklyn detective Chester Lake. In upcoming episodes, we will be seeing a lot more of Adam….and the wicked chemistry that he has with ‘Ice-T’!

The NCC must be breathing a big sigh of relief these days. Mother Nature finally kicked in with some cold weather so the canal is open! Yay! And Friday night, Randy Bachman performs at the Snow Bowl. Its free so come on out! Only Canadian performers can go out in –23 weather and actually strum a guitar. Its something we should be proud of!

My heart goes out to all the people who knew and loved ‘Barbaro’, the brave racehorse who lost his battle today. Barbaro captured our imagination when he won last year’s Kentucky Derby. The ankle injury he incurred while running ‘The Preakness’ was so severe, no one thought he would survive. But fight he did, and each day came more promise and more hope that Barbaro would completely recover. The Cinderella story came to an end this morning, when Barbaro’s owners and doctors made the heart-wrenching decision to put Barbaro to sleep after a serious infection inflicted too much pain for the big colt. Rest in peace, Barbaro. We will never forget your courage.

Gimme Back My Film!

I just got my Christmas photos back from the photo store. They were the pictures from Christmas 2005. When I first got my digital camera, I thought it would be a lot easier to get photos printed than with the oh-so-dated ‘film’ concept. But here’s the way I look at it: with film, you put the film in the camera, take the pictures, bring the film to the store, pick up the prints. That’s 4 steps.
Now, lets look at digital photography. You snap away at everything and anything because you don’t have to pay for a print that you don’t want. So you have 47 pictures of the dog sleeping on the couch, the 23 shots of the moon, the 52 shots of your friend’s birthday cake, and about 600 other pictures over the next few months. And the more you procrastinate about downloading/making prints out of those pictures, you are now at about 1000 pictures that require your attention, and who has time to deal with that? Finally on a snowy Sunday, you sit down at the computer and download all the pictures. Then you write down which pictures you promised to send to friends by e-mail. You look up all their email addresses and patiently wait for your computer to email all the pictures of the birthday party, last St Pattys Day, camping on the May long weekend. And some friends wanted the squirrel picture too. Then you look at all 1300 pictures again and decide which ones to make into prints. Then you download these onto several discs and bring them to the photo store. The bill for processing comes to $327.00. And now you have a thousand pictures waiting to go into photo albums. Again you need an entire snowy Sunday to put 1000 pictures into photo albums.
I think I miss my old camera. The one that took film.

I recently saw the movie ‘Children of Men’. Didn’t laugh once. Actually, I call it ‘ the feel awful movie of the year’. But, it was excellent. It’s a film that takes place in the year 2027 (which adds to the fear factor, because its really not that far off). A world-wide flu pandemic has wiped out millions of people, and left all the women of the world unable to bear children. Clive Owen is fabulous in this movie. Julianne Moore puts in a great performance too. I highly recommend the film, but just make sure you’re in the mood for it. Not a date flick. And, oh yeah, get your flu shot.

Thank you to Susan and Bob of Bridlewood Kanata for generously giving me a new life-sized cardboard cut-out of Mike Fisher. My original Mike Fisher was ‘lifted’ from my office shortly before Christmas, never to be returned. Susan heard my lament on the air and now I have a brand new Mike Fisher who enjoys watching the Ottawa Senator games with me on the couch.

Valentines Day is coming fast! I was reminded about Valentines Day by our producer, Hammer, who asked the question: ‘When is Valentines Day this year’? We are still chiding him about that one. I used to have a boyfriend who complained every year that Valentines Day always arrived on the day BEFORE the 15th of the month, which was pay-day. So I always had to wait until the next day to get flowers or chocolates. And, as an added bonus, by waiting one day he got everything at 50 percent off. Now that’s romantic.

Have you ever wondered how some tv shows ever get the ‘green light’? Especially some of the reality shows. I’m trying to picture the ‘network pitch’ for this show: “C’mon…its gonna be great…the premise of the show is that we take C-list and D-list celebrities, we give them real shot-guns, then we make them members of a real police force and send them out to fight real criminals!! Huh? What do you think, fanatastic, huh?” Well, CBS TV bought the idea and thus we have the premiere of ‘Armed and Famous’, a new reality show starring La Toya Jackson, Erik Estrada, and Jack Osbourne among others. For the show, these former celebrities have all been outfitted in uniforms and badges, and they are packing heat! The mayor of Muncie Indiana agreed to allow La Toya and the gang to join the Muncie police force, because they thought it would put Muncie on the map. It would be good for tourism, the mayor of Muncie said. Maybe there will even be souvenir t-shirts that say: ”I visited Muncie Indiana and I got shot by La Toya Jackson’!


Thank you to our ‘Morning After’ correspondent Rick Currie, who provided live on-the-spot coverage of the Canadian Edition ‘Deal or No Deal’ Briefcase Model Auditions in Montreal. At one point Rick was surrounded by about 350 beautiful women getting ready for the audition by changing into their cocktail dresses. Thank you for handling this tough assignment, Rick.

This winter has been so mild, I haven’t put my snowshoes on yet. There still isn’t enough snow. Well, I guess I could drive to where there IS snow, but that would take a lot of effort. Once I pulled into the parking lot at Meech Lake in Gatineau Park to do a little snow-shoeing. I got out of the car, put on my snowshoes, and someone pointed out that my car was in a tow-away zone. So I drove my car about 100 feet, with my snow-shoes still on. Do not ever do this. This activity is only for trained professionals on a closed course. And I meant to drive into that snowbank.


The ‘People’s Choice Awards’ are on tonight and I’m pretty excited to watch the awards because on the People’s Choice Awards website, there is an opportunity for people to ‘ask the celebrity’. You can ask a variety of celebrities one question, you just submit your question on the website, then they tell you to watch the awards show to see if YOUR question comes up! I asked Charlie Sheen this question: ‘have you ever put something on the roof of your car then forgot it was there and drove away’? What do you think the chances are that this question will be addressed on tonight’s ‘Peoples Choice Awards’? Probably as good as getting the green light for a gun-toting celebrity reality show.

Why do Hammer and JR Get Cardinals

This mild weather is crazy! The temperatures over the Christmas holidays even seem to affect the gift-giving this year. My in-laws (Russ and Myrna Bennett, such wonderful people, and I’m not saying that just because they read this blog in Halifax), for Christmas they gave my husband Rob and I the coolest thing: a barbeque briefcase! It has steak knives and bbq knives and all things barbeque. It all comes in a silver briefcase which I can bring to any big-time meeting to impress executives. They don’t need to know that the contents are barbeque tools and knives. And my sister and brother-in-law (Natalie and Paul) also wonderful and I’m not just saying that, gave us a ceramic pot that shoots out a giant flame! Outdoor use only! A barbeque briefcase and an outdoor flaming pot. They’re not just for summer anymore.

Have you broken any of your New Years resolutions yet? I haven’t. I made one resolution…..to read a book. I find its easy to keep your resolutions if you don’t give them an expiry date.

Back to the mild weather…… I am quite concerned right now that my tulips are going to start poking out. Last week at the cottage, I saw a chipmunk. Are they not supposed to be hibernating by now? And one of the surest signs that this has been a mild winter, for me at least, has been the absence of mice in the cottage. Usually towards November a mouse or two appears under the kitchen sink and settles in for the winter. He has the warmth of the dishwasher and a semi-regular food source: the swinging cupboard door garbage container. Ahhhhh…the life. But not this year. The mice are just as happy to stay outside, where at least they don’t have to deal with a shrieking woman everytime the cupboard door is opened.

Sometimes there is just no justice in this world. As I’ve mentioned many times, I am an amateur bird watcher. I’ve taken a course, I have the best birding binoculars, I have the best field guides, a diary to record my sightings, and bird feeders outside the window that are always stocked. I have never seen a cardinal. Actually, once while I was driving along Limebank Road I saw something red fly over-head for about 2 seconds. Could’ve been anything. And this is the real sad part……my on-air partner JR says he has cardinals in his yard constantly. And so does our producer, Hammer. They see so many cardinals, they’re like pigeons on a statue. They have multiple cardinal sightings each and every day. I would be filled with joy if I saw a cardinal. But , for JR and Hammer, seeing a cardinal is about as exciting as seeing a street-sweeper. Actually, I think they would prefer the street-sweeper. Sigh………….

I got quite tied up just before Christmas to really delve into this situation, but I intend to put effort into it now. Shortly before Christmas, someone stole my life-sized Mike Fisher cardboard cut-out from the office that I share with Steve Madely and Lowell Green. It has yet to surface. If anyone has any information, any leads at all, please contact me. You can remain anonymous as long as you give me your name, phone number, address, work number, and extension.Thank you for your help.

How a 3 Pound Fawn Brought 12,000 People Together

Thank you thank you thank you!
Because one ‘thank you’ just doesn’t seem like enough. Bam Bam, quite possibly the most loved deer of all time (at least in the Ottawa valley!) is going home! Retired Greely couple Bruce and Christina Straby raised Bam Bam after finding her abandoned as a newborn fawn two years ago. Bam Bam had an idyllic life amongst other farm animals and became a beloved pet. Three weeks ago the Ministry of Natural Resources captured Bam Bam and brought her to a zoo. The Strabys were extremely distraught – they contacted the media – word got out and a petition was set up to bring Bam Bam home. 12,000 people signed it. On Friday December 22nd, Premier Dalton McGuinty arrived on the Strabys’ doorstep to deliver the news in person: Bam Bam was indeed going to be re-united with her ‘family’. It was an honest-to-goodness-feel-good Christmas story with a happy ending. Lots of hugs, tears of joy, complete strangers were brought together that afternoon with one common bond: never under-estimate the power of compassion. Thank you to Mr McGuinty for doing the right thing. Behind the scenes, there was a team of people who never gave up: thank you to the Ottawa Sun’s Nelly Elayoubi, Kelly Egan from the Citizen, Nepean Carleton MPP Lisa McLeod for her persistence at Queen’s Park (and for hand delivering the petition to the Premier’s Ottawa office!), lawyer Vicki Eatrides who hopped on board on ‘day 1’ and gave so much of her time and expertise to this story (and getting everyone she knew to write a letter… Vicki is my new best friend that I’ve never met), Lawrence Greenspon for his take-charge guidance, Tim Tierney for creating the petition website, and of course, thank you to the 12000 PEOPLE WHO SIGNED THE PETITION! Happy New Year, Bruce and Christina, and your little doe Bam Bam.

White, Green or Blue Christmas?

So nice to hear from another ‘Sharkey’ across the pond! As a kid growing up in Ottawa, there were only three Sharkey families in Ottawa. My immediate family, my grandparents, and one other Sharkey family that we did not know. Now there are more Sharkeys in Ottawa, but I still don’t know any other than my immediate family. I got an email recently from Stephen Sharkey, who found my blog by accident, and he’s a blogger too! http://opoorrobinsoncrusoe.blogspot.com
Stephen Sharkey lives in London England, he’s a playwright and he blogs about theatre. Check out his blog! He has a lovely writing style, but if I may offer some advice to Stephen, I don’t think he uses the ‘exclamation mark’ often enough.

I still think there should be a ‘Christmas card’ Awards. (there are awards for everything else!) Thank you to Debbie Smith, who wrote to me about a card that she received last year from Pete and Sue Dippel. She loved the card so much, she saved it! The front of the card shows a log house in the mountains, smoke rising from the chimney. The card reads:
‘X’mas a comin
Purt near broke
But while we’re puttin’ the beans to soak
We send you this card
Instead of a letter
And hope you’re doin’ as good or better!

I love that card.
But, I was wondering….hmmmm… Debbie said that she loved the card so much, she SAVED it. Like that was something she never ever does. I save all my Christmas cards. I have for years. I have hundreds and hundreds of Christmas cards in shoe boxes. Why? I don’t know, exactly. I think its mostly because I feel too guilty about throwing them away. Same thing with birthday cards, any greeting cards. I have them all! If I throw them away, does this make me a bad person??? I need to know.
As I write this, its December 17, 2006, and up at my cottage, there is a motorboat going from one end of the lake to the other. The weather has been so mild that I half expect my tulips to start shooting up through the ground. It’s the question on everyone’s mind: will there be snow for Christmas Day? Even people who dislike snow, want snow for Christmas Day. But, why is it so important? I’m fine with either a White Christmas or a green Christmas. Because usually my Christmas Day is spent reading some kind of instruction manual to figure out how to turn on that electronic gift, reading my new Rolling Stone magazine that Santa put in my stocking, getting my husband to try on all his new sweaters to make sure they fit, giving my dogs some kind of dog-friendly chocolate, then driving over to this year’s family dinner, where family members are also pouring over manuals and trying on sweaters. Whether or not there is snow on the ground doesn’t seem to be much of a factor for me. I even think it would be kinda cool to go for a Christmas Day walk in the woods wearing only my new Christmas sweater. As long as it fits.

Thank you to all the people who are supporting the efforts to have the deer named ‘Bam Bam’ returned to her owners, Bruce and Christina Straby. If you are not familiar with the story, there is a link on this website, www.939bobfm.com just click on ‘save Bam Bam’. This will direct you to some Ottawa Sun articles about the story and a petition you can sign (www.savebambam.ca) . We very much want this story to have a happy ending in time for Christmas. I welcome all emails about this subject!!

Hark! I'm Up on the Hoist!

Congratulations to Leslie Edwardson, winner of our ‘Deck the Walls’ contest! The grand prize: a mural painted by local muralist Patrick Killen (www.miragemurals.com)
Leslie has a photo of her son Mitchell playing goalie with the Leitrim Hawks, with none other than Wade Redden taking a slapshot at him. The photo was taken at a special Senators skate with minor hockey players. As our ‘Deck the Walls’ winner, Leslie is going to have that photo come to ‘life’ as a full sized mural on Mitchell’s bedroom wall! A fabulous Christmas gift. Thank you so much to all the wonderful BOB listeners who entered this contest!! And thank you to artist Patrick Killen for making a kid’s (and his Mom’s) dream come true!

The Christmas tv classics are back!! I think my favourite of all time is Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. I still need Kleenex to watch it. For years and years, I looked most forward to ‘How the Grinch Stole Christmas’…but now I look at it much differently. I can’t get past how mean the Grinch is to his dog, Max. And he probably should be wearing underwear. He has the same problem as Britney Spears.

I learned something new this week. Apparently, when you go for an oil change, most oil change places don’t let you stay in the car when the car is lifted up onto the hoist. My oil change place has always let me stay in the car. For me, it’s the only amusing part about getting an oil change. I get elevated quite high and I can see a bird’s eye view of everything. There’s a lot of shouting that takes place at these oil garages. And when I’m up on the hoist, I can barely hear it. There’s another advantage. I can read the newspaper in peace, talk on my cell phone, its fun to be on the hoist. Unless of course, the power goes out. I’d hate to miss dinner because I was stuck on a pole.

I got my first Christmas card. It has to be one of the best Christmas cards I have ever seen in my life, its from my friend Chris Knight at Knight Enterprises. Chris and his staff produce many tv shows right here in Ottawa, including ‘The Great Canadian Food Show’ and ‘License to Grill’. I can’t describe the Christmas card, because it ‘pushes the envelope’ a bit, but I really wish there was such a thing as the ‘Christmas Card Awards’. If you’ve received a Christmas card worth honourable mention, e-mail me back and let me know!

Hockey Night in Barbados!!!!!

Are you the biggest Senators fan on the face of the earth?! Here’s your chance to prove it – ALL THE WAY TO BARBADOS!!! We all know that Ottawa Senators owner Eugene Melnyk is passionate about hockey, and passionate about Barbados! And what’s in Barbados? ‘BERT’S BAR!!’ The Ottawa Senators present: ‘Hockey Night in Barbados’!! Send a 60 second video showing off why you are the Sens NUMBER ONE FAN!!! Sing, dance, paint your face, paint everything around you, add a little touch of Barbados, and send your video to www.ottawasenators.com (there’s also a link on this website)! The prize? You’re not going to believe it!!! The Sens NUMBER ONE FAN (plus guest) heads to Barbados in March, for 4 nights at the spectacular Accra Beach Hotel and Resort!! And here’s the clincher: you will get VIP treatment as you watch the Senators play the Leafs via satellite at Berts Bar in Barbados, WITH Eugene Melnyk, AND Bert himself!! (and I just found out I’ll be there too, I’ll behave, I promise) Get those videos in right now, the deadline for entries is December 22nd!!! GO SENS GO!!! Hockey, Barbados, the beach, and banana daquiris!! Best. Idea. Ever.


Last week, the unthinkable happened for thousands of people who were all buying stuff. For about 90 minutes, there was a technical problem and we couldn’t use our debit cards, or our Visa cards. We could only use CASH. Cash. What the heck is that. I never have cash. I use my debit card for everything. Yep. I’m one of those annoying people who uses my debit card to buy a newspaper and a pack of gum. I use my credit card to pay a $3.00 fee at the parking garage. At restaurants, the server has to bring that little machine to my table so I can use my debit card for an $8.00 lunch. Then there’s that uncomfortable moment where the server has to show me how to give him or her a tip using my debit card. Because I have no cash for a tip. Thank goodness the computers were back up in no time, and once again I could whip out my credit card or my debit card, and continue making purchases that I desperately need. Like a big fake tongue for my dog!! Who doesn’t need one of those?

Toby Rand is coming to town!! Jason from the Thirsty Toad, Bank at Riverside, continues his reign of Rockstar!! While ‘the Toad’ has hosted many stars from the Rockstar series, this one will take place at Centrepointe Theatre, Tuesday December 5th. Toby’s bringing his full band from Australia, Juke Kartel. Don’t know if he’s going to take his shirt off. He did that a lot on the tv show, displaying the message ‘EVS’. Finally Dave Navarro asked Toby what ‘EVS’ means, and he said it means ‘everything’s great’!!! Ah yes….once again, I ask…who has more fun than people. Tickets still available, check www.thirstytoad.com (or win them on BOB, of course)

I have now seen the movie ‘Open Water’, or parts thereof, about 10 or 11 times. Since getting the super duper 900 channel satellite television, I think I ten of those channels are movie channels. And, on 2 or 3 of those channels, on any given day, the movie ‘Open Water’ is on. It’s a pretty good movie. Its about a man and wife who go on a touristy scuba diving boat for an afternoon. They jump out of the boat, swim around underwater, have fun, look at fish, then the boat leaves without them. Yep. Due to a mis-count of passengers by the boat captain, they are just left there in the middle of the ocean. Husband and wife, bobbing away, waiting for the boat to come back. There are sharks in the ocean. I won’t give any more away, in case you haven’t seen the movie. But, if you have satellite tv, chances are you’ve seen Open Water. Quite a few times. Maybe we should have an Open Water club. Take a drink every time you see the sharks circle.

Its Not Stuffing Unless its Stuffed

There are people who absolutely live for Christmas, its an obsession through-out the year….planning, shopping, baking, decorating, a little bit here, a little bit there, with the full throttle Christmas preparations reaching a feverish pitch right around this time of year. I’m not one of those people. I did attempt the ‘Martha Stewart’ thing a few times, trying to actually make my own Christmas gifts. One year, all the females in my family were treated to the same home-made gift. Under the tree, were big green garbage bags, each labeled with the names of my sisters, mom, and sisters-in law. I can still picture all their faces when they opened the big green garbage bags (I didn’t know you could get giant Christmas gift bags). Inside, was a big mess of tangled twigs and broken pieces of dried flower. Yes, I had carefully crafted dried flower hangings (with flowers from my own garden) to give as Christmas gifts. By the time the dried flowers were stuffed into bags and placed under the tree, they had all but turned into twigs and dust and fluffy stuff mixed with seeds. I think one arrangement even included a dried grasshopper. Someone told me later that there’s some kind of aerosol spray that protects and hardens dried flowers…hmmm…that would’ve been useful information BEFORE-HAND. If you have a home-made-gift-turned-disaster story to share, email me back. ssharkey@939bobfm.com


I was watching the Rachael Ray show the other day, and she was making stuffing for the Thanksgiving turkey. One day I plan to cook a turkey, who knows, could be this year, could be sometime next year, so I was quite interested in her stuffing lesson. She had a huge frying pan, she fried up some onions in EVOO (extra virgin olive oil) , some sage, she threw in some dried cherries then crumbled up 6 cornbread muffins and mixed it all up. And that was it!!! She served it on the plate next to some turkey. I immediately made an alarming observation. Rachael Ray’s turkey stuffing never saw the inside of the turkey. Yet, she kept calling it ‘stuffing’. Its not ‘stuffing’, if its never been ‘stuffed’ into anything. C’mon, Rachael, nice try, but please, you can’t fool us.

Like many people, I have lots of framed photos on the mantel over my fireplace. None of the frames matched, so I went shopping this week and found the perfect frames, made of wood, painted with a greenish ‘milk paint’. The frames were from the ‘Prairie Wood’ collection. I took them home, put the photos into the new frames, they looked beautiful. When my husband got home I showed him the frames, and told him that they were from the ‘Prairie Wood’ collection. Hmmm. Interesting. Prairie WOOD. It was pointed out to me, that the prairies are not really known for their wooded areas. As a matter of fact, you can drive for a day without seeing a tree. I sure hope that my frame collection isn’t the remnants of the only tree in Saskatchewan. I wouldn’t feel so bad if my frames were made out of wheat.

Days of Our Lives Puts Ottawa on the Map!

Merry Christmas!! There. Might as well get that out of the way. You heard it here first!

This year, I really want outdoor Christmas lights in our trees. I have three tall pine trees on the lawn that need lights. Problem is, I have quite a large fear of heights. My husband Rob has no fear of heights whatsoever, but he’s knee deep in school assignments and exams and I don’t have the heart to ask him to do it. Which means, I need to get to the top of three 17 foot trees myself. I may just steal an idea I saw once in a neighbourhood in Orleans. Someone had put a 6 foot step-ladder on the front lawn and just draped the Christmas lights over it. By day,it looked like a ladder. But by night….it looked like a beautifully lit Christmas tree. If I don’t get over my fear of heights, I may just put the lights out on the ladder. And maybe I’ll throw some on the wheelbarrow too.

Dogs continue to amaze me. Anyone who has a dog knows how opportunistic they can be. I keep the dog food in a large 10 kg can in the spare room. With a lid on it. The other day I fed all three dogs then went on the computer for a while. The dogs were happily crunching away on their dinner. It takes my dogs about 4 minutes to eat their food! After about half an hour, I realized that one of my dogs, Hudson, was still crunching away. I checked in the spare room and there he was, eating as much food as possible from the big 10 kg can, with his food bowl still completely full. I had forgotten to put the lid back on the giant storage of dog food. Hudson had consumed about 4 dinners by the time I noticed what he was doing. And he had no intention of stopping. Would he have eaten all 10 kg of food if he could? The answer, I think, is a resounding ‘yes’.

Best. Bond. Ever. I went to the new James Bond movie, Casino Royale, and I think that Daniel Craig is unbelievable! Until now, it was always Sean Connery who won most critics’ polls as the best Bond. But I really believe that Daniel Craig should now hold that title. Casino Royale is a well-written movie, it’s filled with action but the best part of all, the unexpected bonus, is that Daniel Craig is a marvelous actor. Ottawa Citizen movie critic Jay Stone chuckled when I told him that Daniel Craig should be nominated for an Oscar for his acting performance. Come to think of it, so did everyone else. Oh yeah? You read it here first.

I’ve never been a soap opera fan, but I have been hooked on ‘Days of Our Lives’ this week. Why? Because the city of Ottawa has been part of the plot line! Here’s this week’s ‘Days of Our Lives’ Ottawa story-line, and I am not embellishing in any way: a woman by the name of Kayla was exposed to poison gas in a hospital, and the only doctor with the serum to save her life lives in Ottawa, BUT WAIT, there’s a huge blizzard in the lower provinces of Canada, so all commercial planes have been grounded, including all planes in Ottawa, which of course is located in the lower provinces of Canada. So a pilot named John volunteers to fly his private jet to Ottawa to get the serum to save Kayla’s life, snow storm or not!!! Away he goes, with his girlfriend Marlena along for the ride, flying through the blizzard until, ENGINE FAILURE!!! The plane is going down!!!! Marlena thinks that the plane will be OK if the load is lightened, so she JUMPS from the plane on the way to Ottawa, and lands on the snow somewhere near Ottawa!! A distraught John the pilot continues on, lands safely in Ottawa, and gets the serum! Meanwhile, his girlfriend Marlena is lost in the wilds of Ottawa!! Back home, Marlena’s daughter is horrified that her mother is missing! How can her mother survive the ‘THIRTY FEET OF SNOW and temperatures below zero’, she exclaims!! John the pilot flies back home with the serum, saves Kayla’s life, but still no sign of Marlena. As luck would have it, a man in a big parka stumbles across an unconscious Marlena in thirty feet of snow in the wilds around Ottawa, and takes her back to his cabin!! Marlena awakes, make-up and hair perfect! As luck would have it, the man in the parka is none other than ‘Smokey Robinson’! One of Marlena’s favourite singers! He gives her food, bandages up her sprained ankle (after all, she did jump from a plane) and then he sings a couple of songs! Saved by Smokey Robinson, who happens to have a cabin in the wild near Ottawa! Wow. ‘Days of Our Lives’ just became my favourite show of all time.

Bob Barker is Best in HD

Thank you to Liz Watts, and several other listeners, who e-mailed me back with their opinions about ‘Pal-entines Day’. Believe it or not, the poll was evenly divided. Half said ‘no way’! The last thing we need is another reason for people to spend money. The other half said ‘Heck yeah!!! Let’s have a Pal-entines Day’! One day of the year where we give a little something to our pals. And now, the clincher. There already IS a ‘Palentines Day’. How was I supposed to know? I thought I invented Palentines Day. But, nope. It exists, alright. Even has a website, www.palentinesday.com. The first ever Palentines Day was January 1st 2005. Just over 10 months ago. Anyway, its quite noble. It’s a celebration of America’s heroes. Quite nice. Sigh. Wish I’d thought of that.

Today is John Rodenburg’s birthday. He shares it with Nick Lachey, Lou Ferrigno, and Mary Travers from Peter, Paul, and Mary. They were the trio who sang ‘If I Had a Hammer’, and ‘Puff the Magic Dragon’. What’s up with that song? Think there may be a ‘hidden’ meaning behind ‘Puff the Magic Dragon?” Just wondering. Discuss amongst yourselves!

I don’t know about you, but I’m devastated by the news that Bob Barker is retiring from ‘The Price is Right’. I feel like Bob’s been there my entire life. Bob Barker is like comfort food. He’s just like shepherd’s pie or macaroni or tuna casserole like Mom used to make. Recently, I discovered the pleasures of watching Bob Barker in high definition. He’s only 83 years old! Why is he retiring already?! Maybe if Price Is Right contestants stopped knocking him over, he would stay on longer. We’re gonna miss you, Bob!
Even the pets that have been spayed or neutered love ya Bob!

Wow. Big news out of Hollywood. Britney Spears and Kevin Federline are getting a divorce. Who saw that coming? In a strange way, I feel kinda sorry for Kevin Federline. The minute the divorce was announced, the headlines changed to ‘Britney’s Back!! Britney is well on her way to a come-back’! Britney Back on Track’! Sheesh. The guy couldn’t have been all that bad. But he’ll probably land on his feet. Watch for Kevin Federline on the next edition of ‘I’m a D-List Celebrity Get me Outta Here’! Or maybe one day you’ll be channel surfing and Britney’s ex will be on your screen, leg wrestling with Danny Bonaduce.
Or maybe he’ll take up with Darva Conger. The world is Kevin Federline’s oyster.

There’s a new Lone Star Restaurant opening up in the Byward Market. Hopefully soon! I have to stop pressing my face up against the windows trying to get the workers’ attention to hurry up with whatever it is they still have to do to get the place ready so we can eat fajitas and salsa and con queso dip every single day across the street from where I work!!! How much longer do we have to wait!!!! The humanity!!!!

How do you like Pal-entines Day?

Ottawa Firefighters have donated their time and energy to appear in a 2007 calendar. Michelle Valberg took the photos of these fine men. The calendar is $20.00 and proceeds go to the Ottawa Heart Institute. Buy yours today. For every female on your Christmas list. For information, email Julie Gowan at the Heart Institute, jgowan@ottawaheart.ca
Do your part. Buy several 2007 Firefighters Calendars. Because the men worked hard for it.

This week I heard the first radio commercial that mentioned a Christmas sale. The date of the Christmas sale was November 1st. The very next day after Hallowe’en! Each year, Christmas inches its way closer and closer to Hallowe’en. JR and I have a prediction for next year: someone will have a Christmas sale BEFORE Oct 31st, Hallow’een. Then, as soon as that happens, the doors will be blown wide open. Christmas sales will then battle it out with ‘Back to School’ sales. Just watch!!! It’ll happen.

I’d like to suggest a whole new reason to go out and buy someone something. Next to Christmas, birthdays, graduations, anniversaries, things like that, how about: ‘Pal-entines Day’. Palentines Day would be much like Valentines Day, except you surprise your ‘pals’ with gifts. Your best pal since high school, your neighbourhood pal, your work pal, your poker pals, your book club pals, all your pals get a card and maybe even some chocolates or beer! What do you think? ‘Pal-entines Day’! We just have to find room for it on the calendar. And since Christmas now takes up October to mid-January, that could be a bit of a challenge. When’s a good time of year to have Palentines Day? Email me at ssharkey@939bobfm.com and let me know if ‘Pal-entines Day’ is a good idea. Or not. If I get at least 5 people who like the idea, I’m prepared to run with it.
Of course, if I get a bigger response from people who think its stupid, I will place the idea on top of the pile of ideas that never took off, including the ‘man feeder’.

Thanks again to the Thirsty Toad, Bank at Riverside, for another great time with the rockers from ‘Rock Star’! Storm Large blew into town and put on an amazing show. She defeated me in a leg wrestle but the tables were turned quickly when it came time to arm wrestle. Get your tix soon for Gilbey Clarke and Lukas Rossi, coming to ‘The Toad’ on November 11th! It’ll be an outdoor show in a heated tent and as always – there will be special surprises!!! Info at www.thirstytoad.com


Go Sens Go!!!! Have you noticed that a lot of Sens fans are driving around with Senators car flags? I love it! Usually they seem to come out only during the play-off season, but many folks are proudly driving around right now with flags flapping! I wonder what the record is for keeping a Sens car flag. I usually have mine for about 2 days before I forget its there, open the car window, then watch my flag fly away over the Queensway.


Trick or treat! Happy Hallowe’en!!! May your Hallowe’en goodie bag be filled with the good stuff. It’s a good year if you have 45 percent chocolate bars, 45 percent chips or doritoes, and just 10 percent hallowe’en kisses. That’s a serious loot bag. And remember, if you’re neighbourhood is a bit on the cheap side, always get your parents to drive you to the neighbourhood that gives out the really good stuff.

What Dogs Would Do With $750

Let’s see….we have a parrot that sings ‘Hit the Road Jack…a border collie/jack Russell terrier mix that stands on the balls of her owner’s feet and catches a Frisbee…a cat that rolls over….another cat that flushes the toilet….a dog that skateboards. These are just some of the entries in JR and Sandy’s ‘Stupid Pet Tricks’ coming to the Carlingwood Mall next Saturday Oct 28th. Carlingwood is offering some great prizes, the best pet trick gets $750 to spend at the mall! I think the pet should get the shopping spree, since the pet did all the work, right?
What would a dog do with $750?
Hmmmm…..
Here’s a typical dog shopping list:
1. a cat $100.00
2. 100 rawhide bones $200.00
3. Doritos $20.00
4. a bed. a real bed, not one of those ‘dog’ beds $300.00
5. device that turns the knob on the exterior door (priceless)
6. toilet paper, Kleenex, paper towels, an assortment of delicious paper products $50.00
7. shoes, any size, for chewing 2 pairs $70.00

GRAND TOTAL $ 750.00

Back in September, the newest ‘Tickle Me Elmo’ appeared on store shelves here in Ottawa. Its called ‘TMX’ Elmo, although I have no idea what the TMX stands for. Anyway, this bright red fuzzy Elmo lies on its back and kicks its legs in the air then pounds the floor, all the while laughing hysterically. I immediately wanted one, and planned to buy one the 2nd day they went on sale (at the ridiculous price of $49.95). That day, I never got a chance to go shopping. Then a couple of days went by, a week, two weeks, and sure enough…..today, I find out that TMX Tickle Me Elmo is nowhere to be found in Canada, and will not be in stores until sometime around February or March! This news devastated me, and I don’t even have kids! For those parents who already have the kids’ Christmas list taped to the fridge, and TMX Tickle Me Elmo is on that list, here’s some news for you. You decide whether the news is good or bad: last time I checked, there were 5,450 TMX Tickle Me Elmo’s on e-bay. Nothing says Merry Christmas like a Tickle Me Elmo that you bought for $160.00 , plus $25.00 for shipping, from someone in Australia. Remember when you were a kid, and you got those three cans of Play-Doh? And a Barrel of Monkeys? And maybe Lite-Brite? And you and your sisters all got an EZ-Bake Oven?
And the manufacturers made enough of them for everybody! P.s. I’ll trade my Sea Monkey kit for a TMX Elmo. Straight trade. No questions.

Uh oh, the pressure of Hallowe’en is almost upon us once again. I think of Hallowe’en as quite stressful. Simply because I can never think of an interesting costume idea. Hey look at Sandy! That’s a great ghost costume! Big white sheet, two holes cut out for eyes, that’s really good! Welcome to my typical Hallowe’en. This year, I will NOT be a ghost!!! Maybe I’ll be a witch. Or a pirate. Those are the only costume ideas I have. See, told ya.

This week, TV Guide announced that it would no longer be making a ‘print’ version of the weekly tv listings for Canada. TV Guide Canada will now only be available on-line. On the morning show, I joked about that, saying what a shame because you will not be able to read the TV Guide in the bathroom any longer. Well, shut my mouth! We received so many phone calls from listeners happily admitting that they bring their lap-top computer into the washroom. While ‘doing their thing’, with pants around the ankles, they are also surfing the net, watching a video, downloading ‘Lost’, emailing friends, whatever. Wow. Talk about multi-tasking. It has never occurred to me to do this. With my luck I would drop the laptop into the you-know-what then have to explain that to the warranty people.

Ignore the Screams in the Gatineau Hills!

The Thirsty Toad is on the map!!! Congratulations to Jason, Pat and everyone involved in Saturday’s ‘Party Like a Rock Star’ outdoor show at the Thirsty Toad, starring Dilana and Magni from Rock Star Supernova!! It was a fantastic day….great weather…a great crowd including lots of rocker kids 5, 6 and 7 years old….and we can’t say enough about Dilana and Magni, playing for 2 hours and it was obvious they were really enjoying themselves! Stay tuned for more Rock Star shows at the Thirsty Toad, including Sweet Suzie McNeil this Saturday, Storm Large on Oct 21st, and Ryan Starr on November 4th! The corner of Bank and Riverside is officially Ottawa’s newest place to ROCK! I grew up in that area and the intersection of Bank and Riverside used to be where I’d wait with a big bag of bread to cross the street so I could feed the swans on the river. But now, its Ottawa’s intersection of ROCK! Besides, the swans aren’t there right now anyway because they are in lock down. For more about the upcoming shows, check out www.thirstytoad.com!!!

And it’s the dog’s time to party, too! This weekend, BARK (Bytown Association of Rescued Canines) is hosting their annual ‘Bark in the Park’, Saturday and Sunday at the Bruce Pit, Cedarview Road!! There will be craft tables, doggie products, animal communicator Elizabeth Wright will be there, and you can have your pet’s photo taken by a pro, for just five bucks! The autumn colors at Bruce Pit are gorgeous right now, so it’s the perfect time to get those shots. Unless your dog is orange. Then you should move him away from the trees for the best effect. For more, go to www.bark-ottawa.com

I went on a hike in the Gatineau Hills on Thanksgiving Sunday and I brought my binoculars for bird-watching. Of course, I forgot my reference guide so what I saw, was a brown bird, then another brown bird, then 2 brown birds and a woodpecker. But once I got deep into the woods, I was startled by a ruffed grouse. These birds are about the size of a chicken, and they hide in the brush until you just about step on one. Then they fly up past your face at one hundred miles an hour. The first time this happened, I screamed at the top of my lungs. Then I collected myself and kept going. I encountered three more ruffed grouses, each one causing me to let out a blood-curdling scream. So, to all the hikers/nature lovers/birdwatchers in the Gatineau Hills on the weekend, not to worry, if you heard four separate screams coming from the woods, those were just my 4 ruffed grouse encounters. Sigh…can’t wait to get back there again. Nature is so relaxing.

I am so thrilled about the buzz around actor Adam Beach, who stars in the Clint Eastwood-directed film ‘Flags of Our Fathers’, in theatres next week. ‘Flags of Our Fathers’ follows the story of the flag-raisers at the Battle of Iwo Jima. Adam plays a soldier by the name of Ira Hayes, and he is in good company. The movie also stars Ryan Phillipe, Barry Pepper and Paul Walker. Check out what all the buzz is about at www.flagsofourfathers.net
I first met Adam back in March when he was involved with the Humane Society Fur Ball. I was always a fan of his work, I thought he was amazing in the movie ‘Windtalkers’ with Nicolas Cage. He and his gorgeous wife Tara are two of the kindest people you’d ever meet, and both have a wicked sense of humour. I wish nothing but success for Adam and Tara, and judging from the early buzz around ‘Flags of Our Fathers’, I think we’ll see this handsome couple on the red carpet at the Oscars. Way to go!

And now…one final message…this is to the shmuck who stole my purse from the trunk of my friend’s car in Montreal on Friday night. I have no I.D. You stole it all! And don’t go around using my I.D. Trust me, it will not get you anywhere. I am currently in the ‘hell’ that is…replacing everything that was in my wallet. Everywhere I go to apply for new I.D, I get asked to show my I.D. You can see why I’m getting nowhere. Oh well, I have several members of the Montreal police force working on the case, day and night. LolI hope this never happens to you. I’m not looking forward to getting a new driver’s license photo

Uh Oh Ugly Betty Looks like my Yearbook Photo

CONGRATULATIONS to Joy Lonsdale, our big winner in ‘Bob’s Deal or No Deal’!!!!! Joy played the game perfectly, and with Steve Gregory as the host, ‘the master of suspense’, she won $15,000!!!!! Check this website to see who won over the past few weeks, and how much, wow- it was a ton of fun! And how’s this for irony…..last night, I watched the tv version of ‘Deal or No Deal’ with Howie Mandel, and one guy walked away with $9,000…….not a bad haul, but the BOB FM radio version handed out $15,000!! Way to go, Joy!!

I stumbled on something kinda cool the other day, on the website www.biography.com. Its called ‘celebrity soul-mate search’. Doesn’t matter if you’re happily hooked up with someone, its fun anyway. You just answer a few questions about your ‘perfect celebrity mate’, and they tell you who (in another life) would be your perfect famous spouse! I found out that my perfect match is Matthew McConnaughey. OK, so maybe I cheated on some of the questions. When I went back and entered the answers with 100 percent honesty, I found out that I should be married to Abraham Lincoln. I think I prefer Matthew McConnaughey.

Have you seen the new show, ‘Ugly Betty’? It premiered last week. I thought it was great. The premise of the show is that ‘Betty’, who is ‘ugly’, with big glasses and braces and poor fashion taste, gets a job working for a high brow fashion magazine in New York, surrounded by beautiful people. But, here’s my problem. I don’t think Betty….is ‘ugly’. I think she’s rather attractive, in fact. Is it just me? Or do you think that ‘Ugly Betty’ isn’t ugly enough to be called ‘ugly’? The fact that Ugly Betty looks exactly like my grade 7 yearbook picture has nothing to do with my opinion on this issue.

And now we go full circle. Check out the website, www.cuteoverload.com. This website is nothing but cute stuff, yep, kittens, puppies, fuzzy ducklings, kids with puppies, kids with bunnies, all things cute. Because everyone needs to look at something cute every once in a while. Good way to take your mind off your yearbook picture.


I have a goldfish who is obviously a big fan of David Blaine’s. You know, that illusionist guy who immersed himself in a giant glass water tank and stayed there for five days in Times Square. My goldfish is the fish equivalent of David Blaine, except in reverse. Twice in the past month I have walked by the aquarium he lives in with his 5 goldfish buddies, only to find that he is on the floor. This is a 3-inch long goldfish living in a 6 foot long, 130 gallon aquarium. So its not because he needs his space. Both times, I shrieked in horror at the sight of him lying on the carpet, only to put him back in the aquarium where he quickly shook it all off and went back to eating big mouthfuls of gravel then spitting them out. Which is his favourite hobby. Maybe I should set up some sort of webcast so that I can monitor him while I’m at work. But then again, with a webcast in my house I may also see my dog walking around in my underwear.

Hope I can rub Magni's head!!

Yippee!!! Yayyyy!!! Wooo hooo!!!! Yahoo!!! Dilana and Magni are coming to town!!! If you have not seen ‘Rock Star Supernova’, you’re probably wondering, who the heck are Dilana and Magni. However, if you are a Rock Star Supernova fan, this is big news!!! The Thirsty Toad at Bank and Riverside is hosting a really cool all ages outdoor show, with colorful Dilani and super cool Magni on Saturday Oct 7th, details at www.thirstytoad.com. Of course, BOB FM has tickets, so keep listening! I can’t wait! Its an acoustic show, but Dilana’s voice is so powerful, you’ll probably hear her all the way up the Rideau River. Cool! And I hope Magni sings the Jimi Hendrix tune he did on ‘Rock Star’…let me stand next to your fire…
I hope I get a chance to meet Magni, he was always my favorite rocker on the show. And I hear if you rub his bald head, it brings you good luck.

How would you like to have some laughs AND support a great cause at the same time? Now on sale, a hilarious new book called ‘I’m Not Wearing Pants, True Tales from Canadian Radio Gals’. This book is a fun compilation of stories from women in radio, (including some classic embarrassing moments on the air). I have a story in the book, and I have to congratulate the editor on a job well done. It couldn’t have been easy editing my 200 page story into 3 pages. True Tales was the brainchild of Kelsi Jordan from Country 105 radio in Calgary! Way to go, Kelsi! A portion of the proceeds goes to the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation, and you can get your copy at www.theradiogirl.com!

I drove by the Prime Minister’s residence the other day, and noticed that the landscaping crew was working away just outside the gates. One worker had a giant leaf blower that was quite powerful, and it was really doing do its job, sending leaves in one direction at a hundred miles an hour. Then I noticed that the worker was blowing the leaves from the Prime Minister’s residence over to the Governor General’s residence. Hmm. Reminds me of that old saying. ‘He who blows leaves last laughs first’. Or maybe I just made that up.

I have a neighbour who has fake flowers in his flower beds. I made this observation in the spring, when the snow was just starting to recede and huge plastic blooms started to appear through the snow. Pinks, reds, yellows, whites, all colors. I think they are fake peonies, to be exact. Anyway, these plastic flowers continued to brighten this person’s garden all season long. I drove by this same neighbour’s place the other day, and something in his driveway caught my eye. He had cases and cases of fake logs just delivered. While many are ordering a cord of wood for the winter, my neighbour with the fake flowers in the garden has ordered a cord of fake logs for his fireplace. I just hope he doesn’t have a fake fireplace.

Revenge of the Socks

Ok, so its here!! This week, the new Tvtropolis game show, ‘Inside the Box’ debuted. Its on every weeknight at 7pm. I don’t know which episode I’m on, it could be tonight, it could be three weeks from now, it could be on the cutting room floor. I’m actually quite frightened about watching myself on this tv trivia game show, as I very much ‘crashed and burned’. The fact that I never saw one episode of ‘Melrose Place’ certainly came back to haunt me. But the worst part of all, is that my biggest challenge wasn’t necessarily remembering the name of a tv show, it was trying to remember the names of the other two contestants. As it turns out, this is a rather integral part of the game. Who knew??

Have you watched many of the new tv shows? Outside of ‘Inside the Box’, I’ve seen Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip with Matthew Perry. I thought it was a great premiere episode. If you saw it too, did you happen to catch the slight ‘shot’ that was taken at the city of Vancouver? In one scene the actors were talking about saving money by shooting a movie in Vancouver, then Vancouver was shot down, because it doesn’t look like any other city, never did, blah blah. Its no secret that American show biz technical crews are peeved about losing jobs to Canadians, as more and more productions are being shot in Vancouver, Toronto, Montreal, and even Ottawa! Anyway, on ‘Studio 60’ I thought it was an incredibly obvious shot at Vancouver. The ironic thing was that Matthew Perry, an OTTAWAN, was in the scene. Ok that’s my rant for now.

Speaking of productions filmed here in Ottawa, I got a call from Meagan at ‘Mountain Road Productions’, letting me know about a new tv show that was shot in and around the Ottawa valley. Its called ‘Be Real’, and its on at 7 pm every Wednesday on Tvtropolis. (yes, just before ‘Inside the Box’!) ‘Be Real’ is a fun, off the cuff show where regular people get their own tv show for a day, it’s a bit of a parody on reality shows. It was shot in Ottawa, Perth, Carleton Place, and soon to be Kingston. Check out ‘Be Real’, that may be your neighbour or co-worker on tv!

What’s the capital of Peru? Whats the name of the new Guns ‘n Roses album that Axl Rose has promised for five years? What breed of dog doesn’t bark? If you know the answers to any or all of these questions, or none at all, either way, then this is for you!!! World Trivia Night!! On Friday Nov 3rd, the Aberdeen Pavilion turns into the world’s biggest trivia game and it’s a ton of fun. Plus, it’s a fundraiser for ‘Champions for Children’! Get a team together and register at www.worldtrivianight.com. You can have up to 10 people on your team, so it’s a good idea to find people who have certain strengths, ie, one person is a geography nut, one is a pop culture fanatic, one knows all about sports, etc. If you need someone who is an expert on cleaning supplies, from Windex to Fantastik, that would be me. I also know quite a bit about dairy cattle.


I have some sort of strange medical condition. I’m not sure whether or not I should see a doctor. About a year ago, I bought about 20 pairs of socks. They were all exactly the same, except different colors. I wear them almost every day. The tops of the socks are elasticized, as all socks are. A couple of days ago, I wasn’t wearing my socks, but I noticed that on each of my legs, that would be, both legs, right in my skin is the indentation of the pattern of my socks. I thought nothing of it at the time, but I decided to stop wearing my socks to see what would happen. And here it is, two days later, and the indentation of my socks is still there. I fear that a year of wearing the same style of socks over and over again for a year has left my upper ankles with permanent sock marks. So let this be a warning to you. If you take my advice just once, let it be this: always rotate different styles of socks. Don’t let this happen to you.

Ths is a Non Celebrity Smoking Section

Its been a pretty tame Toronto Film Festival, so thank goodness for Sean Penn!! We can always count on Sean Penn to stir things up a bit. At a press conference in a Toronto hotel, to promote his new film, ‘All the Kings Men’, Sean Penn did the unthinkable! He smoked a couple of cigarettes! This unforgivable offence has now landed Sean Penn in hot water with our Minister of Health, Jim Watson. And a photograph of Sean Penn with said cigarette dangling from his mouth has been picked up by newspapers all over the world. (I’m not a smoker, and I agree with the smoking ban). I find this story amusing for a different reason. We allow celebrities to get away with just about everything. We just don’t allow them to get away with smoking. Even Keith Richards was cited for smoking on stage in Glasgow Scotland a couple of weeks ago. It is not acceptable for even our crustiest rockers to smoke. We let celebrities get the best section of the restaurant, we dutifully respect celebrities’ security, they can bump you from your honeymoon suite if they want the entire floor of a hotel, but they just can’t smoke. If we can’t smoke, they can’t smoke. Its become the one thing that regular folk and ‘celebrities’ have in common. It doesn’t matter if you’re Madonna, Bono, or The Pope. You can’t smoke in a public place in Ontario. Although I doubt the Pope will face this problem.

Congratulations to Lukas Rossi of Toronto, new lead singer of ‘Supernova’! Wow, Toronto’s JD Fortune won the Rock Star contest last year, now fronting INXS, and here we have yet another Toronto boy taking the prize. Is there something in the water in Toronto? I wonder if Lukas Rossi’s hairstyle will be the new trend. Black hair, big white stripe down the middle. Just like a skunk. Thick mascara, eyeliner, even lip gloss. It’s a good thing Lukas won this contest to be in a rock band. Don’t know that he would’ve fit in at a 9 to 5 office job!

Isn’t it great that we are getting some relief at the gas pumps? I got gas today at 86.9, what a deal! But my happiness quickly turned to aggravation, when I couldn’t actually ‘leave’ the gas station. In the downtown core, taxi cabs pull into gas stations to grab a coffee and donut and newspaper, and they park right in the middle lane between the two gas pump islands. Then the guy at the gas pump in front of you also goes inside the gas station superstore and rents a movie, gets a bag of ice, picks up some lottery tickets. The woman at the pump behind you has disappeared too. This is what I call the ‘gas station box-in’. Does this happen to you, too? At least while I was waiting for someone to let me leave the gas station, I got to read my newspaper with the big news story about Sean Penn smoking.

Canadian Idol’s Eva Avila from Gatineau is 19 years old, and it was revealed this week that she is dating another Canadian Idol finalist, Chad Doucette, who is 17 years old. Way to go, Chad!

And speaking of cute new couples, Liberal MP Belinda Stronach is now dating Toronto Maple Leafs’ Tie Domi. Insert your own comments here.

Congratulations to Ottawa’s Dawn Ferrell, the winner of the BOB FM/Corner Gas contest. Dawn flies out to Regina and joins the cast of Corner Gas to be our very own entertainment correspondent, and next season, she will have a ‘walk-on’ role on this popular CTV comedy! We did chat with Dawn on the morning show, and it wouldn’t surprise us if Dawn becomes a regular on ‘Corner Gas’. She is one of the bubbliest people ever. There are people who are just not ‘morning people’, and then there are people like Dawn. Listen to ‘the Morning After’ on BOB FM this Monday, and catch Dawn’s first reports from the set of Corner Gas in Dog River Saskatchewan. I bet she makes a big impression on Brent Butt.

We are still taking votes for Ottawa’s most annoying animated computer voice. The nominees are: ‘Emily’ from Bell Canada, the Rogers guy, Claire from Ticketmaster, the Bell area code lady, and my personal favourite, the female computer voice at Loblaws self-scanning checkout. The one who reminds you, after each and every scanned item, to ‘please put the item in the bag’. Loblaws also sells tv’s and patio furniture. Just try to put that in a bag.

Congratulations to Chantal Dugas and her dog ‘Cruzer’!! Cruzer was chosen Ottawa’s top dog, and he’ll lead the pack at the Iams Wiggle Waggle Walkathon for the Humane Society this Sunday at the Arboretum! Cruzer is a five year old border collie who regularly visits the elderly, is a friend to Foster kids, he participates in agility, and loves to swim. You can meet Cruzer and about 1500 other dogs too, at the Walk this Sunday!! Get your pledge form on the pet friendly section of this website.

Thank you so much to ‘Canada’s first lady’, Laureen Harper, for being one of the judges of the Top Dog contest. The judging took place at 24 Sussex Drive, where I very carefully held my coffee cup. Laureen was gracious enough to take us on a tour of the Prime Minister’s residence, and its absolutely breath-taking. One décor feature, however, is a bit different. The carpeting on the grand staircase is a faux leopard print. This was installed by one of our Prime Minister’s wives. Hmmmmm. Think I’ll keep her identity a secret.

Humour in the workplace is a good idea. Every workplace has at least one person who you can count on to pull the odd prank. He or she is the jokester in the group. Most likely to provide the harmless fun that brings employees together for a couple of guffaws around the water cooler. This week, my hat’s off to the Ikea employee who decided that the 175 million copies of the 2007 Ikea catalogue needed a little ‘spicing up’. Not sure if this guy still has a job, but he sure found a new way to promote Ikea. Check it out for yourself! Look for the tv watching dog. I’ll just leave it at that.

Not to sound like a broken record, but summer sure went fast this year. Is it just my imagination, or did everything happen at once: first day of school, cool weather, and a red maple tree on my street. I could swear that on Labour Day Monday, that tree was green. The next day it was completely red. But, hey, if you’re a regular Costco shopper, they’ve had their Hallowe’en stuff out since June.

I saw a story on CNN the other day, about a growing trend : more and more parents are bribing their kids to get ‘A’s in school. One ‘A’, ten bucks, two ‘A’s’, the kid gets twenty bucks, three ‘A’s, uh…hmmmmm.
I never got paid to get ‘A’s. Maybe if I did get cold hard cash to get ‘A’s’ in school, I would not be working in radio. Just kidding.

Besides the youngsters headed back to school this week, the career students are back at it too. We all know one. That one friend who is in their 30’s, maybe even 40’s, and I’m sure there are some in their 50’s, who go have gone to university their entire life. It started fresh out of high school, 3 years business admin, then 3 years in communication, then onto the sciences for a while, a couple of years of Greco-roman history, and now they are fully enrolled in architecture but seriously considering aviation technology. I admire this tenacity and dedication to higher learning. But at some point they have to move out of their parents’ house!

If you’ve been following ‘Rock Star Supernova’ (my personal favourite reality show) its starting to look more and more like Lukas is going to win this thing. The show was originally edited to make Lukas look like an aloof, glum guy who made no connection with any of the other singers. But over the past few weeks, we see Lukas playing basketball. Lukas playing ping pong. And last night on Rock Star, previously taped footage of Lukas skipping rope with the others. I think that’s skipping rope game is called ‘double dutch’. The heavy black mascara, the tattoos, the hair colored like a skunk, yep, that’s Lukas, skipping rope. Supernova wants us to love him. Because he’s their new lead singer. Unless, of course, I’m wrong.

My husband called me on his cell phone while driving across town today because he saw a cardinal flying over Johnston Road. I know that there is talk of banning cell phones while driving, but I’m not totally convinced that we need a ban. And I think this little story exemplifies the need for those important phone calls.
Have you spotted an Ottawa Senator lately? Needless to say , they are starting to re-group and they have been all over town making appearances at golf tourney’s, private fundraisers, fishing tournaments. The hockey season is almost here!!! Yay!!!! Can’t wait. I still have my fully inflated Ottawa Senators thunder-sticks. And now that I have my life-size Mike Fisher cardboard cut-out, I think I’ll place him right on the couch for good luck during the tv broadcasts of Sens games. Go Sens go!

Snakes Not on A Plane!

Have you entered BOB FM’s ‘Top Dog Contest’? In conjunction with the Iams Wiggle Waggle Walkathon for the Humane Society, coming up Sunday Sept 10th at the Arboretum, we are going to crown ‘Ottawa’s Top Dog’!!! Send your entry to this website! Tell us why your dog deserves to be ‘head of the pack’ at the Wiggle Waggle! You could win 4 tickets to ‘Barney’, 2 tickets to the Black Eyed Peas, AND grooming service from the ‘Spaw Mobile Grooming Salon’!
Yours truly will be one of the judges, along with Laureen Harper, yes, ‘that’ Laureen Harper! I will be taking the Top Dog entries to 24 Sussex Drive, where we will pour over them and choose a winner! Laureen Harper has always been a huge Humane Society supporter, and fosters cats and kittens regularly! Gotta love it!

I had a pretty cool experience this week at ‘Little Ray’s Reptiles’ on Bank Street South. It was my first time at Little Ray’s, and I honestly had no idea it was such a huge reptile zoo! Thank you to my friend Karen Genge for the tour….she volunteers at Little Rays and not only helps to clean out the snake tanks and the frog tanks and the turtle tanks, she is also a ‘mom’ to a hognose snake and a carpet python! I’ve always had a love of snakes, which goes back to my childhood. My family had rented a cottage on Mississippi Lake near Carleton Place and when I was a kid, I found a garter snake nest. I put the tiny snakes into a bucket, I think there were about 80 snakes, and took them back to the cottage where my Mom shrieked and told me to keep them outside. That night, it was quite chilly so I felt sorry for the 80 baby garter snakes and brought them into my bedroom. The next morning I awoke to my Mom screaming. There were garter snakes everywhere. Climbing the drapes, slithering on the floor, one ended up somehow in the lettuce in the fridge. But the best visual of all, was the garter snake that sat on the top of the tv, its face dangling down and quite fascinated with ‘The Price is Right’ starring Bob Barker. The moral of this story: I can’t believe that Bob Barker is STILL doing the ‘Price Is Right’!!!

I guess it was bound to happen. The showbiz tabloids struck Bruce Springsteen. Claiming his marriage to Patti Scialfa was over, and that he was dating a 9/11 widow. As soon as I heard the story, I refused to believe it! Bruce Springsteen is my hero!!! He’s honest! He has integrity! He’s one of the good ones! Thank goodness, today, Bruce Springsteen released a statement saying that his marriage is as strong as ever, and that the recent rumours are ugly and untrue. Check out Bruce’s comments for yourself at www.brucespringsteen.net.
Phew!!!

Its that time of year!! How many times have you heard recently: ‘I can’t believe how fast summer went by’!!! Its almost Labour Day and once again, I have a huge list of things I meant to do this summer…but never got around to. I never learned how to wind-surf. I didn’t go to any form of water park. I never had a garage sale. Didn’t get around to buying one of those bug zappers that looks like a tennis racquet. But I did run through the sprinker a couple of times.
And I did name the frog that lives in my garden. He’s my Tony.

Have you been watching ‘Prison Break’? I admit that I had to bail out on ‘24’ last season, because while I know that you have to suspend belief to enjoy the show, I just couldn’t believe the incredible story lines. And now it looks like ‘Prison Break’ is taking a page from ‘24’. I half expect that, just before getting caught by the law, Michael Scofield and friends will be rescued by a flying pteradactyl.

Just when I thought TV can’t get much worse, I just watched ‘Celebrity Duets’, with Xena Warrior Princess singing with Michael Bolton. Right now the C-Pac channel doesn’t seem so bad.

I Must Stop Collecting Collectors Editions

I got the new issue of Entertainment Weekly Magazine, which is one of those ‘collectors’ issues. Its kinda cool, it features six different James Bond covers. I could get into a debate about which Bond is best….I could rate them (in my opinion)…blah blah George Lazenby was the worst, Sean Connery was the best…all the other Bonds are somewhere in the middle….but really, hasn’t this debate raged on for decades? I’m not interested in that debate. What I wanna know, is this: do you KEEP magazines that call themselves ‘collectors issues’? See, I always have. As soon as a magazine calls itself a ‘collectors’ issue’, it goes into a cardboard box in my basement, with all the other ‘collectors’ issues. Like the ‘definitive Seinfeld’ issue of Entertainment Weekly. Or the ‘Artist of the Decade’ (U2) issue of Rolling Stone. Or the collectors edition of People Magazine’s sexiest men alive. Or the collectors edition of The Ottawa Citizen, featuring the complete history of The Rideau Canal. What the heck, may as well save that too. Everything goes into the box in the basement. Why? Hmm. I’m not sure, exactly. Can’t throw them out, they’re collectors issues!
One day I’m going to free myself from those boxes of magazines that call themselves collectors issues. I think I can get by without keeping the collectors edition of Time Magazine’s 1987 Man of the Year.

I’ve never been very good at flying kites, as a matter of fact I gave up kite flying when I was about 9. But while on holidays, my husband bought a kite and it was actually quite nice, sitting on a big old rock in Georgian Bay, watching my husband fly this beautiful kite in the breeze…..and then…kaboom. Nose-dive. The kite smashed right into a rock. Exactly the way all kite flying experiences come to an end. Does a kite ever live to fly another day?

I got a new pair of binoculars. Serious binoculars for bird watching. I didn’t know much about binoculars, but I went to this great store on Merivale Road across from the CTV building, and I figured they knew what they were talking about because they also sell telescopes that are so powerful, you can see a Starbucks on the planet Mars. Anyway, I tried a lot of different pairs of binoculars, but I was absolutely sold on one particular pair. The big selling feature? When I looked through them, I could see the keys in the ignition of my car, through the locked car door.

Thank you so much to one of our fantastic Bob FM listeners, Paula, who delivered a life size cardboard cut-out of Ottawa Senators Mike Fisher to the radio station. He’s in the studio right now but eventually I plan to take him on a couple of outings. Thanks Paula. Let me know how I can return the favour. How about a life size cardboard cut-out of JR?

Help!! I've burnt my eyeballs!! But I can get up

Ouch! Just got back from vacation and I learned something the hard way. You can get a sunburn on your eyeballs. I was on a five mile kayak paddle directly into the sun in Georgian Bay, totally greased up with sunscreen from head to toe. But no sunglasses. Nope. Don’t own a pair. Later that day, it arrived. The sunburn. On my eyeballs. After careful thought, putting calamine lotion directly onto my eyeballs was ruled out. That would more or less be a ‘catch 22’. So, by passing along this story, if I could just save one of you from ever getting a sunburn on your eyeballs, then my suffering has been worth it. For goodness sake, wear sunglasses. Who would’ve thought they serve another purpose besides making you look cool!

My husband and I spent a few days in Quebec City, taking in all the history in the old city, complete with a day-long walk around the Plains of Abraham. I try not to use my holidays to ‘learn’ things, but you can’t help it when you’re in Quebec City. There are statues and memorials and plaques about every 10 feet, each a reminder of the year 1759, when the biggest war on Canadian soil took place…………..and it was all over in about 40 minutes. How Canadian is that.
While we were in Quebec City, there was a huge festival taking place, with hundreds of people walking around in period costume to celebrate New France back in the 1700’s. The women wore long dresses, the men had wigs and frills. The only thing that gave them away was their shoes. I doubt the men in 1700’s New France wore Reeboks.

Go, Steffi D, go Eva!! Canadian Idol is getting down to the wire and as I write this, we have TWO, yes TWO idol finalists from the national capital area!!! Eva is from Gatineau, Steffi is from right here in Ottawa and they are both really strong contenders. It sure would be cool if they ended up as number one and number two for the Canadian Idol final. If that happens, I think they should stage the final competition right in the middle of the MacDonald Cartier Bridge.

As always, Bob FM has your ‘last chance ticket grab’ for the city’s biggest concerts, including tickets for this Friday’s Steve Earle show at the Ottawa Folk Festival. Listen for Steve Earle songs all day Friday and be the 9th caller! I can’t wait for the show. I’m a huge Steve Earle fan. In the late 80’s, one day I decided I wanted to be a songwriter. So I wrote a song. (I think the next day I decided I wanted to be a dolphin trainer, but that’s another story). Anyway, I wrote a song called ‘I Can’t Break Out’. It was about a prisoner. It was one cliché after the other. But I managed to get it into Steve Earle’s hands. I told him that the song was written to sound like a cross between ‘I’m Eighteen’ by Alice Cooper and ‘Wanted Dead or Alive’ by Bon Jovi. All I remember is that Steve Earle was kind enough to sign my song and hand it back to me, without actually reading it. Which, in hindsight, makes this a much happier story.

My ‘Morning After’ partner JR is a huge Philadelphia Eagles fan. His three young daughters know all the words to the ‘Philadelphia Eagles fight song’. When I was in Vegas last year, he asked me to place a bet for him on the Eagles winning the Superbowl. (I don’t think they won) Anyhow, I recently saw a trailer for a movie called ‘Invincible’, which opens on August 25th. The movie is based on the true story of a Philadelphia Eagles fan, Vince Papale. Vince lost his wife and his teaching job. Needless to say, things are not going well for Vince. Then one day he decides to go to an open tryout for the Philadelphia Eagles NFL club. Judging from the trailer, he makes the team. Sheesh. For all the JR’s out there, sounds like the best movie ever made. Maybe for once, men will need Kleenex at the theatre. Or they can just pretend that they have something in their eye.

I’m still mourning the loss of Wiarton Willie, our national groundhog day mascot. He passed away recently, but he did live a good long pampered life. He was one of a kind. And not only because he was white. I’m not sure if Wiarton has found a replacement for Willie yet, but I have a suggestion. I think the Bell beavers, Frank and Gordon, should apply for the job. They’re not groundhogs, they’re beavers, but they are also actors so they could act like groundhogs. Just throwing it out there. I’ve been thinking a lot about this. It takes my mind off my sunburnt eyeballs.

See you in August!

Hey all.....I'm on holi-daze. Back August 14th!

The Why, the What and the 'WHO'!!!

These are the dog days of summer! I don’t know where the term ‘dog days’ comes from, maybe it’s a description of the lazy dog just lying on the porch on a hot summer day……not much else to do….
At my house, dog days of summer means….’drinking out of the toilet’!!!!! Can anyone tell me why my dogs by-pass a perfectly cold fresh bowl of water, to lap it up out of the toilet bowl? Anyone?

The ‘WHO is coming to Ottawa!!! Wow, is that ever cool. It only happens once every 35 years. Of course, some may argue that its not ‘really’ The Who, given that there are only two original surviving members. And some may say that, well, at the age of 60-something, Pete Townshend and Roger Daltrey are past their prime. And some may say that the top ticket price of $204.50 is w-a-a-y too much to pay to see The Who. Oh well. Fair enough. All I know is that I saw The Who once, and it was just a few years ago in Toronto, and it was an absolutely fantastic show. One of the best concerts I’ve ever seen. I still have the ticket stub. I paid a paltry $115 for the ticket back then. Wow….it seems so long ago….remember the days when a concert ticket was just $115…….?

I love Bluesfest this year. I can’t get enough of it. I think they finally got it right, the configuration of the main stage, the bands are great, the beer is cold, everything works. Besides seeing the bigger acts, I highly recommend going to one of the smaller stages and catching some band that you’ve never heard of, but is always a pleasant surprise. I saw the Roadhammers the other night. Who? Exactly. Bluesfest exposes us to stuff we may never other-wise see. But one of the real success stories at this year’s Bluesfest, has to be, the ‘cupsuckers’ everywhere!!! Everywhere you look, there’s a cupsucker. A cupsucker is a long tube that attachs to every garbage can. You finish a beer, walk over to the cupsucker, slide your empty beer cup into it and bob’s your uncle. The recycle people love it, the grass is free of beer cups, and the people at Bluesfest have a new word that they love to say any chance they get. ‘cupsucker’! How fun is that.

My hairdresser is becoming famous. His name is Joseph and he owns Byblos on Bank Street in the Glebe. I called to make an appointment the other day, only to be told that Joseph was on the ‘set’ of a movie. As it turns out, Joseph is doing Tori Spelling’s hair for the next couple of weeks. If its true that people tell their hairdresser everything, I can’t wait to hear the stories. Tori Spelling must have lots of stuff to talk about.

Big Fun at Big Sky!!!

I first went to visit the Big Sky Animal Sanctuary in Kemptville this past spring, and I immediately wanted to be involved in a very special fundraiser, called ‘Woofstock’. Big Sky Animal Sanctuary is home to over 170 unwanted and abused animals, from dogs and cats to horses and donkeys. Please join us this Saturday, for a big ol’ field of fun – a fundraiser for the animals – with hay rides, pony rides, laser show, live bands including Austin Fire and The Bushpilots, crafts, games, dog agility shows, live professional wrestlers, truck pulls, food, prizes, and a raffle to win a pair of tickets to Eric Clapton. All this, and of course a chance to romp with all kinds of animals, including ‘Arnold’ the pig (I think he’s seven feet long!) Woofstock!!! Saturday July 8th, 11 am to 7 pm. For directions, click on the link on this website!

I thought of a joke today. Its not often that I think up a joke. But all jokes have to start somewhere. Ok, now that I’ve covered my butt, here goes. Why is World Cup Soccer just like being at a Star Trek convention?
Because no one ever scores.
(you’re groaning, right? I think I can hear groaning….)

I’ve now watched a few soccer, er, ‘football’ World Cup matches, and I have a better understanding of the game. Wow. It has to be the most emotional sport ever. The players seem to weep openly rather often. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, in fact I find it rather refreshing. I think men should always be in touch with their sensitive side. I think it was Tom Hanks who once said, ‘there’s no crying in baseball’. But there sure is a lot of crying in World Cup soccer.

The 4th of July Coney Island hot dog eating contest results are in. The winner was a 130 pound Japanese fellow who ate 51 hot dogs in 12 minutes. Buns included. How’d you like to be the person who has to drive him home after the contest. I’d make sure he sat in the back seat with all the windows open.

So, the kids are outta school…..and the day camps are starting up! Its incredible how many camps kids have these days. Science camp, horseback camp, tennis camp, wood carving camp, clown camp, X-Box camp, Superhero camp. Ok I made up those last two. There actually is a clown camp. One of our young listeners called in to the radio show last week to tell us that he couldn’t wait for the start of ‘clown camp’. He’s going to learn how to be a clown. Hmm. I wonder if there’s also a ‘mime’ camp. You can bring an imaginary friend but they have to register at the same time that you do.

‘Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest’ opens this weekend and I gotta see it! I absolutely loved the first movie. Johnny Depp has admitted that he modeled his character, captain Jack Sparrow, after both Keith Richards and Pepe le Pew (did I spell that right?) the stinky skunk. The director of Pirates of the Caribbean wanted desperately to nab Keith Richards for the sequel, to play the part of Jack Sparrow’s father. But word is, that Keith couldn’t fit it into his schedule, but HAS promised a cameo for the ‘third’ installment of the Pirates franchise. I’m going to make a prediction: I’ll bet that Keith Richards IS going to be in the 2nd movie opening this Friday, and that right now its Hollywood’s best-kept secret. He’ll appear right at the end of the movie. If I’m wrong, so what. No harm done. I’m used to it.


I’ve seen it once before, but I just saw it again today, and its still amusing. For whatever reason, this sight always makes me chuckle: a ‘Smart Car’, at a red light, with a 24 of beer strapped to the roof. Now that’s Canadian!