Wednesday, March 28, 2007

The Word 'Gullible' is not in the Dictionary

The Juno Awards are coming up on Sunday, this year they are taking place in Saskatoon! I’ll bet Saskatoon is going to be hopping all weekend. This is the Canadian Music Industry’s biggest deal, and it’s a ton of fun to partake in some of the events if you’re lucky enough to be in the host city. When the Junos were in Ottawa a few years back, every bar in the Byward Market was booked by a record company. I walked from bar to bar with some friends (one bar actually let us IN) ..but since I didn’t have invitations I just waited til someone famous would walk out. I saw…hmm…lets see…Shania Twain, Jim Cuddy, Raine Maide and Chantal Kreviazuk, Chad Kroeger from Nickelback, and Sam Roberts. All of them going from one party to another. I tried to sneak into one party behind Chad Kroeger because he’s quite tall, but it didn’t work.

One of my biggest cringe-worthy moments also stems from the Juno Awards in Ottawa. At the last minute, I got a ticket to go to the show, and my seat was exactly in the last row on the floor (about 60 rows back). Tom Cochrane was being inducted into the Canadian Music Hall of Fame, and he was giving quite a heart-felt speech. It was a spectacular speech, in fact. Unfortunately, I had to use the ladies room so I quickly squeezed down my row of spectators, then stood at the back of the arena wondering how to get out to the nearest bathroom. I then noticed that Tom Cochrane’s speech was no longer being delivered with as much conviction. To my horror, I realized that I was standing in front of a teleprompter, which Tom Cochrane was reading. My body was completely blocking the words to Tom Cochrane’s once-in-a-lifetime speech. I got out of the way as fast as I could. And Tom picked up where he left off. It was a night I’ll never forget. I love the Juno Awards.

Approximately $100,000 dollars was raised at the Humane Society Fur Ball last Saturday!!! Thank you to the organizing committee, the sponsors, and of course the Fur Ball attendees, who definitely opened their wallets for the animals. Honorary chair Laureen Harper looked stunning in a gorgeous black gown. Its one of the only fundraisers in Ottawa where everyone seems to have dog or cat hair on their elegant clothes.

Uh oh….this Sunday is April Fools Day. It’s a scary day of the year for me, as I seem to be fooled by someone or something 365 days of the year, and it is quite easy to trick me. I tend to believe everything I read, as well as everything I hear, and everything I see. So, I feel that I should be exempt from being a victim on April Fools Day, because I am such an easy target. As my friend, councilor Rob Jellett used to say, ‘hey Sandy, did you know the word ‘gullible’ is NOT in the dictionary’………

Glad to hear that ‘Hockey Night in Canada’ , with Don Cherry and Ron MacLean, has been re-newed for six more years. How could they ever cancel Hockey Night in Canada? It would never happen. Although I must say that since I got a high-def television, Don Cherry’s suits are becoming even harder to look at. A friend of mine had a touch of the flu last weekend, and when she saw Don Cherry’s suit, she had to flee the room. Funny how a ‘Don Cherry’ fashion line has never taken off. Not for the faint of heart.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

All Weather Televisions

And just one more sign of spring…..’The Spring Home and Garden Show’, Lansdowne Park! This year the ‘Dock Dogs’ will be at the show, check out the Dock Dogs at www.dockdogs.com. These are dogs that jump off docks, into water, and they travel everywhere to compete against each other for the biggest jump. This Saturday, I will be in a jump-off against the Dock Dogs. I’m up for the challenge. I think I’m more worried about being in a bathing suit in public.
After I jump in the pool, I’m going to go up to the nearest person and shake all the water off right onto their clothes.

I love the Home and Garden Show. I’ve been working on my flower garden for about 9 years now, making every mistake I can possibly make. At the Home and Garden show, the most amazing gardens are put together just for the show, indoors, complete with ponds, gazebos, water fountains, etc. These gardens are in place for just 4 days. I wish I could have a helicopter air-lift one of these gardens and transplant it at my place.

The big trend right now is ‘outdoor living rooms’. Blurring the lines between ‘indoors’ and ‘outdoors’. The idea is that our ‘outdoor room’ has furniture, art pieces, an outdoor fireplace, etc. The only difference with the ‘outdoor room’ is that there is the possibility of having bird poop on the couch. And I wonder how long it will be before they come up with a weather-proof giant screen plasma tv.

The ‘Terminator’ is coming to town! Arnold Schwarzennegger will be here at the end of May to talk about the environment, gas emissions, etc. I hear that he no longer drives a Hummer. With the possibility of extra tariffs on gas-guzzling vehicles, it looks like ‘Hummers’ are becoming one of the targets of the environmental movement.
My beef with a ‘Hummer’ is that it takes up three parking spots.

My Mom passed along something she saw on the Martha Stewart show. It sounds like fun, think I’ll try it. For Easter, you take a dozen eggs and wrap each egg with the outer shell from a red onion, using a twist tie to keep the onion on the egg. Then you drop the red-onion-covered-egg into boiling water and boil for 10 minutes. Let cool, take the onion off, and ‘shazam’! You have purple eggs! Then hide the purple eggs all over the house. Since these are real eggs, you may want to make sure you and the kids FIND all the purple eggs. Otherwise you may need

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Pucker Up! Time to Kiss the Blarney Stone

Go to Barbados! Then once you’re in Barbados, go to Berts Bar!!! It is the absolute perfect combination for a Canadian! Escape winter, head to the sun and sand of Barbados, then, while in your t-shirts and shorts, with your face a wee bit sunburnt, go to Berts Bar by the ocean and watch the OTTAWA SENATORS kick the Toronto Maple Leafs’ collective butts! I highly recommend this vacation, as I just got back from doing that. Along with Sens army Captain Ryan Guthrie, his brother Murray, and a great group of people that gathered with Sens owner Eugene Melnyk and Bert himself, what a blast!!!!

Next to watching the Senators via satellite, one of my favourite excursions was the ‘Cool Runnings’ catamaran, loaded up with excitable party animals INCLUDING Spartacat himself! There’s something to be said for this visual: Spartacat clutching the steering wheel of a huge catamaran charting a course down the Barbados coast-line, his red hair flowing in the wind, a majestic Ottawa Senators flag flapping above him. That cat is the ultimate chick magnet.

I’ve had three animals on my ‘must see in their natural environment’ list. One is the wolf (yet to see), the humpback whale (yet to see) and the other was the ‘sea turtle’. Well, not only did we see sea turtles, we swam with sea turtles, and we even touched their backs gently, which they seemed to enjoy. Or maybe I just imagined them enjoying that. Come to think of it, their shells are as hard as a rock so petting a turtle was probably a useless exercise. To the turtle. For me, it was the thrill of the year. Now I just have to pet a wolf and a humpback whale.

Sitting at the Barbados airport waiting for our flight home, someone pointed out that Jean Beliveau was sitting in the airport lounge with his wife. The great Jean Beliveau himself! That was cool. Over the P.A, his name was announced to board the plane first, and when he stood up everyone burst into applause. A lesson to be learned here: if you work hard and become a highly regarded hockey player spanning an incredible career, you get to be the first on a plane.

St Pattys Day is on a Saturday this year!! That’s a wonderful thing…for the most part. But having St Pattys Day fall on a Saturday does mean that we will miss out on one thing: the people leaving their workplaces to head to a pub for a St Pattys Day lunch….a sea of career suits and skirts and dress blouses and shirts and heels….the intention is to have ‘one pint of Guinness’ then head back to the office….hah! By around 4 pm the shoes are off, the jackets are piled high on hooks, and the accountant is wearing a flashing neon ‘kiss me I’m Irish’ button. Happy St Pattys Day, and remember, before you kiss the Blarney Stone, find out where its been.

I’ve become absolutely hooked on a TV show that is no longer running. I used to watch ‘Arrested Development’ on occasion , before it was cancelled by the network. I think it was on FOX TV. Anyway, its now in syndication on CBC every day at 4:30 pm and I drop everything to watch it, because it is the funniest, most creative, most well written and acted show of all time. (or is that ‘most BEST written’?) I laugh out loud from beginning to end, on the couch, all by myself, unless you count my card-board cut-out of Mike Fisher. He loves Arrested Development too.

Sunday, March 04, 2007

My name is Sandy and I'm a Costco-A-holic

Chicks rule, boys drool! That’s the first time I’ve ever used that saying. But somehow it seems to fit for this season’s ‘American Idol’. The women are amazing! The guys…not as amazing. This season there are going to be huge ‘celebrity guests’ on American Idol, which I find kinda amusing. You can be sure that Jennifer Lopez wouldn’t have touched American Idol with a ten foot pole on the first few seasons – but now that 37 million people are watching every week – she’s somehow signed on to the show. Every time they announce the ‘upcoming celebrity guests’ for American Idol, I get nervous. I’d shudder to think that one of my favourite musicians has signed on to the American Idol monster. So far, there are no signs of Bruce Springsteen, Steve Earle, Bob Dylan, U2, Neil Young, Jet, The Killers,
Ryan Adams, David Bowie or Chrissie Hynde appearing on American Idol. Phew!!!!

There was a story in the paper last week about Mayor Larry O’Brien bringing his dog to work every day. The story was somewhat negative, focusing on the fact that the Mayor’s driver was walking the dog a few times a day, and his salary is of course paid by Ottawa taxpayers. The driver said he walked Mayor O’Brien’s dog in his off-time, and he did it because he wanted to, not because he was expected to. So where’s the problem? I have always thought we should have a ‘Bring Your Dog to Work Day’, throughout the city!! Studies have shown that having your dog by your side while you work gives you a certain contentment, thus you are more productive. Plus, with a dog by your side, people are more likely to chat with you, making the workplace a more congenial atmosphere. What do you think? ‘Bring Your Dog To Work Day’! I think we’d have the Mayor’s blessing on this one. It would be fantastic! Everyone could bring their dog to work….with the possible exception of people who work in a cat daycare.

Congratulations to Ryan Guthrie, who was crowned the ‘Sens Army Captain’, and has won a trip to Barbados! Finalists Sean Urich and Beth Evans have also been awarded trips to Barbados, to enjoy the Sens – Leafs match-up from Berts Bar. Sens owner Eugene Melnyk surprised everyone with a trip! Good guy, that Mr Melnyk.
I met Eugene Melnyk and Bert Innis (from Berts Bar, Barbados) last week and they are what you call ‘salt of the earth’ people! Between periods of the Sens – Carolina game, Eugene and I talked horses. We have quite a bit in common when it comes to horses. Eugene owns 550 horses, and I have pictures of other people’s horses that I’ve taken from the side of the road.

I went to Costco the other day. I don’t have a membership but I went in on the coat-tails of my Mom’s membership. I needed to go to Costco because it’s the only place that sells these certain doggie treats that my dogs are crazy about. I promised myself that I would buy ONLY the dog treats, and nothing else. I would not get caught in the vortex of crazed spending that often occurs when you go to Costco. I did pretty well, I think. I bought 3 bags of dog treats. And a seven piece patio set.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Least Favourite Past-time: Shopping for a Bathing Suit

March 24, 2007: mark it on your calendar! It’s the Humane Society’s ‘Fur Ball’ ! This year it takes place at the beautiful National Gallery and the 4-course meal Is being prepared by chefs from the Prime Minister’s residence, the NAC, the Governor General, and more. It’s a fabulous evening with a ‘Mardi Gras’ theme, so bring your masks! There will be very unique auction items available, including a flight in a vintage de Havilland Beaver! For ticket information, see www.ottawahumane.ca!

Gotta get my car washed. Right now there is 3 inches of salt covering every inch of my car. I couldn’t even find my car in the grocery store parking lot the other day. It was completely camouflaged. My friend bragged to me that she got her car washed, hot wax, the works. It took exactly one drive to work for her car to look as dirty as it was before. Maybe I’ll just stick to what I’ve been doing……when I’m at the gas pump, I grab the windshield sponge-y thing and wipe down the car as fast as I can. Its temporary, but I saved $13.00 on a hot wax.

The Oscars are on tonight! I’m so glad that Ellen de Generes is hosting. I think she’s amazing. She always seems to be the same, naturally funny and nice, no matter who she’s interviewing, whether it’s a woman who has the world’s largest collection of Gumpy and Pokey memorabilia, or whether she’s talking to Barbra Streisand. Speaking of the Oscars, again another year goes by where I did not get out and see all the ‘best picture’ nominees. Actually, this year is my worst record yet. I’ve only seen ‘The Departed’ and ‘Babel’. Mostly because they both came out on DVD. I also saw ‘Borat’ but for some reason it was not nominated for best picture.

I’m very much looking forward to the Ottawa Senators game Wednesday night, February 28th, as they take on the Carolina Hurricanes. At that game, the winner is determined for the ‘Hockey Night in Barbados’ Contest! Three semi-finalists will show off their Sens Army Captain videos during intermissions. The winner will be crowned ‘Sens Army Captain’, and will enjoy a trip to Barbados – complete with bragging rights at BERTS BAR in Barbados to watch the Sens take on the Toronto Maple Laffs! The panel of judges for the contest Wednesday night will be Sens owner Eugene Melnyk, Bert Iniss of Berts Bar, and yours truly! I’ve never met Eugene Melnyk before but I hear he is fun and down-to-earth. Anyone who wears a Senators shirt with palm trees all over it has to be fun.

For any woman who is going on a trip down south this winter…I’m sure you can sympathize. Is there anything worse than shopping for a bathing suit? Bathing suit shopping is horrible. There is no bathing suit on the face of the earth for me. One piece, two piece, three piece. Do they make a bathing suit that looks like jeans and a sweatshirt?

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Hot Tub People are Different

The concept behind ‘Pal-entines Day’ swept the city! Ok, well….maybe it swept 5 or 6 people. But everything has to start somewhere. In case you don’t know (which at this point is 99.9 percent of the population), Palentines Day appears on February 13th, day before that ‘other day’. Giving someone a ‘Palentines Day’ card means ‘hey, glad we are pals’. There is no pressure of romance or anything. You can give a Palentines Day card to anyone, even your best friend’s wife or husband! For those of us who didn’t get that many cards in grade 4 on that ‘other day’ that rhymes with Palentines….THIS DAY IS FOR YOU!!!!

My husband and I and another couple spent last weekend at Mont Tremblant. This was the result of a decision that we needed to make: buy some RRSP’s, or go skiing at Mont Tremblant. We chose the hill. Buying RRSP’s just isn’t as much fun! The accommodations were beautiful! There was an outdoor hot tub!!! All we had to do was put on our bathing suits and our Sorel winter boots, and walk about 4 minutes through the snow in –34 C temperatures, a bit chilly in your swimwear, but the pay-off was going to be amazing! When we arrived at the hot tub gate, it was of course, locked, to keep the riff raff out. But we had our room key which we confidently swiped to open the gate. Uh oh, the key didn’t work! The hot tub was filled with people that collectively looked the ‘other way’, ignoring our pleas for help! We weren’t going to give up! Help us, please! There’s a problem with our key! We are wearing bathing suits and boots and its –34C, -45 with the windchill! That’s when I noticed the looks on the hot tubs people’s faces. ‘WE’ were the ‘riff raff’! This hot tub was not for US! It was only for the people from room numbers 701 to 730! We were in room 690! The ‘700 block’ people would rather let us freeze to death than let us in the hot tub. We had no choice but to give up. There was a lesson to be learned here. Stay in school, graduate at the top of your class, make the right financial decisions, buy investments, buy RRSP’s! Then you can go into the hot tub!


I’ve shaved 3 minutes off my running time! I can now run 1.2 km in 15 minutes, according to my microwave timer. Two weeks ago the same distance took me 18 minutes. National Capital Race Weekend, here I come!!!



One of our listeners, Michael Milsom, challenged me to go skating on the canal during Winterlude. (I haven’t skated on the canal since I was a teenager!) He offered to donate $50.00 to BARK (Bytown Association of Rescued Kanines) www.bark-ottawa.com) …if I strapped on my skates and went for a whirl on the canal. The idea actually gripped me with fear. Its been so long since I skated, PLUS, I could never really skate anyway! But, having $50.00 go to one of my favourite charities was too much to pass up. So, Michael, fire off that cheque to BARK! I skated for 15 minutes on the canal yesterday, fell three times, and nearly took an eye out . Someone else’s eye. An out-of-towner, thank goodness, so I’ll never have to see him again.
I hope.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Its a bird! Its a plane! Its David Lee Roth!

Wow, there have been some weird match-ups in Hollywood lately. Scarlett Johannsen and Justin Timberlake. Matthew Perry and Meg Ryan. Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy. Heather Locklear and David Spade. For some reason, these all strike me as odd couples. Not ‘easy to see why they’re together’ couples like Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock…oh wait, bad example…Alanis Morrissette and Ryan Reynolds…oops, they’re finished too….Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe…they didn’t work out either. Come to think of it, just when we start getting used to seeing a celebrity couple together, boom! Its OVER! I wonder what Valentines Day is like in Hollywood. I’m holding out for some romantic news from the celebrity set. Keeping my fingers crossed that Tom Green and Drew Barrymore get back together.

Kudos to the Ottawa City Councillors who participated in the ‘Toque Tuesday’ challenge, hitting the streets to sell as many ‘Raising the Roof’ toques as possible. And thank you to Mayor O’Brien for buying the first toque, and his is definitely a head that needs a toque. For the month of February, these toques can be bought (just 10.00 each) at all Home Depot stores, downtown Starbucks and The Body Shop. All proceeds go to ‘Cornerstone’ womens shelter here in Ottawa.

I’ve taken up jogging. So far, I’ve set out to run 1.2 miles a day. I set the timer on the microwave then I run out the door and down the street until I reach the neighbourhood Super Mailboxes, then I turn around and run back. According to the odometer in my car, this is a distance of 1.2 miles. My running time for 1.2 miles is currently somewhere between 18 minutes and 16 minutes. My goal is to get it down to 14 minutes. Then I will be ready for National Capital Race Weekend.

Van Halen is getting back together! The Eagles are putting out a new album in the next couple of months. Genesis is going on tour. The Police are opening the Grammy Awards show. Don’t you just love what’s happening? I do!! I can’t wait to see these acts on the road. This could be another one of those years where my monthly Visa card bill looks like this:
Clothing: 0.00 Restaurants 0.00 Car Rental 0.00
Hotels 0.00 Tickets/Events $845.00. Oh well. Good thing I can get a refund now with my wine bottles!

Monday, January 29, 2007

Roman Numerals are Fun

Superbowl Sunday is coming up! Which, in my household, really doesn’t mean anything. I am not married to an NFL fanatic. Thank goodness! I do, however, like the commercials during the Superbowl. And, besides, the Superbowl itself is notorious for being a bad, lop-sided football game. Despite the huge fall-out from Janet Jackson’s ‘wardrobe malfunction’ a few years back, at least it was something a bit unexpected! It injected a bit of excitement into the game. Oh well, here comes Superbowl XXXIIIIIVIVIV! Go Bears go! Who’s the other team, anyway?

Why are roman numerals attached to the Superbowl?
Anyone? Is it because the players are ‘gladiators’? Which came first? Football or chariot races? And why aren’t roman numerals used more often? Roman numerals are cool. I have a friend who just had a birthday, she turned XXXIV. Remember that scary movie with Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman? I think it was called ‘VII’. Then there was that sitcom with Suzanne Somers, ‘III’s company’. See how much fun Roman Numerals are?!

Congratulations again to Adam Beach, our favourite Hollywood actor, who lives right here in Ottawa, but……..he’s going to have to start commuting to New York City! Adam recently signed on to a brand new role on Law and Order SVU! You may have seen the ‘pilot’ episode with Adam a couple of weeks back, where he played Brooklyn detective Chester Lake. In upcoming episodes, we will be seeing a lot more of Adam….and the wicked chemistry that he has with ‘Ice-T’!

The NCC must be breathing a big sigh of relief these days. Mother Nature finally kicked in with some cold weather so the canal is open! Yay! And Friday night, Randy Bachman performs at the Snow Bowl. Its free so come on out! Only Canadian performers can go out in –23 weather and actually strum a guitar. Its something we should be proud of!

My heart goes out to all the people who knew and loved ‘Barbaro’, the brave racehorse who lost his battle today. Barbaro captured our imagination when he won last year’s Kentucky Derby. The ankle injury he incurred while running ‘The Preakness’ was so severe, no one thought he would survive. But fight he did, and each day came more promise and more hope that Barbaro would completely recover. The Cinderella story came to an end this morning, when Barbaro’s owners and doctors made the heart-wrenching decision to put Barbaro to sleep after a serious infection inflicted too much pain for the big colt. Rest in peace, Barbaro. We will never forget your courage.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Gimme Back My Film!

I just got my Christmas photos back from the photo store. They were the pictures from Christmas 2005. When I first got my digital camera, I thought it would be a lot easier to get photos printed than with the oh-so-dated ‘film’ concept. But here’s the way I look at it: with film, you put the film in the camera, take the pictures, bring the film to the store, pick up the prints. That’s 4 steps.
Now, lets look at digital photography. You snap away at everything and anything because you don’t have to pay for a print that you don’t want. So you have 47 pictures of the dog sleeping on the couch, the 23 shots of the moon, the 52 shots of your friend’s birthday cake, and about 600 other pictures over the next few months. And the more you procrastinate about downloading/making prints out of those pictures, you are now at about 1000 pictures that require your attention, and who has time to deal with that? Finally on a snowy Sunday, you sit down at the computer and download all the pictures. Then you write down which pictures you promised to send to friends by e-mail. You look up all their email addresses and patiently wait for your computer to email all the pictures of the birthday party, last St Pattys Day, camping on the May long weekend. And some friends wanted the squirrel picture too. Then you look at all 1300 pictures again and decide which ones to make into prints. Then you download these onto several discs and bring them to the photo store. The bill for processing comes to $327.00. And now you have a thousand pictures waiting to go into photo albums. Again you need an entire snowy Sunday to put 1000 pictures into photo albums.
I think I miss my old camera. The one that took film.

I recently saw the movie ‘Children of Men’. Didn’t laugh once. Actually, I call it ‘ the feel awful movie of the year’. But, it was excellent. It’s a film that takes place in the year 2027 (which adds to the fear factor, because its really not that far off). A world-wide flu pandemic has wiped out millions of people, and left all the women of the world unable to bear children. Clive Owen is fabulous in this movie. Julianne Moore puts in a great performance too. I highly recommend the film, but just make sure you’re in the mood for it. Not a date flick. And, oh yeah, get your flu shot.

Thank you to Susan and Bob of Bridlewood Kanata for generously giving me a new life-sized cardboard cut-out of Mike Fisher. My original Mike Fisher was ‘lifted’ from my office shortly before Christmas, never to be returned. Susan heard my lament on the air and now I have a brand new Mike Fisher who enjoys watching the Ottawa Senator games with me on the couch.

Valentines Day is coming fast! I was reminded about Valentines Day by our producer, Hammer, who asked the question: ‘When is Valentines Day this year’? We are still chiding him about that one. I used to have a boyfriend who complained every year that Valentines Day always arrived on the day BEFORE the 15th of the month, which was pay-day. So I always had to wait until the next day to get flowers or chocolates. And, as an added bonus, by waiting one day he got everything at 50 percent off. Now that’s romantic.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Have you ever wondered how some tv shows ever get the ‘green light’? Especially some of the reality shows. I’m trying to picture the ‘network pitch’ for this show: “C’mon…its gonna be great…the premise of the show is that we take C-list and D-list celebrities, we give them real shot-guns, then we make them members of a real police force and send them out to fight real criminals!! Huh? What do you think, fanatastic, huh?” Well, CBS TV bought the idea and thus we have the premiere of ‘Armed and Famous’, a new reality show starring La Toya Jackson, Erik Estrada, and Jack Osbourne among others. For the show, these former celebrities have all been outfitted in uniforms and badges, and they are packing heat! The mayor of Muncie Indiana agreed to allow La Toya and the gang to join the Muncie police force, because they thought it would put Muncie on the map. It would be good for tourism, the mayor of Muncie said. Maybe there will even be souvenir t-shirts that say: ”I visited Muncie Indiana and I got shot by La Toya Jackson’!


Thank you to our ‘Morning After’ correspondent Rick Currie, who provided live on-the-spot coverage of the Canadian Edition ‘Deal or No Deal’ Briefcase Model Auditions in Montreal. At one point Rick was surrounded by about 350 beautiful women getting ready for the audition by changing into their cocktail dresses. Thank you for handling this tough assignment, Rick.

This winter has been so mild, I haven’t put my snowshoes on yet. There still isn’t enough snow. Well, I guess I could drive to where there IS snow, but that would take a lot of effort. Once I pulled into the parking lot at Meech Lake in Gatineau Park to do a little snow-shoeing. I got out of the car, put on my snowshoes, and someone pointed out that my car was in a tow-away zone. So I drove my car about 100 feet, with my snow-shoes still on. Do not ever do this. This activity is only for trained professionals on a closed course. And I meant to drive into that snowbank.


The ‘People’s Choice Awards’ are on tonight and I’m pretty excited to watch the awards because on the People’s Choice Awards website, there is an opportunity for people to ‘ask the celebrity’. You can ask a variety of celebrities one question, you just submit your question on the website, then they tell you to watch the awards show to see if YOUR question comes up! I asked Charlie Sheen this question: ‘have you ever put something on the roof of your car then forgot it was there and drove away’? What do you think the chances are that this question will be addressed on tonight’s ‘Peoples Choice Awards’? Probably as good as getting the green light for a gun-toting celebrity reality show.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Why do Hammer and JR Get Cardinals

This mild weather is crazy! The temperatures over the Christmas holidays even seem to affect the gift-giving this year. My in-laws (Russ and Myrna Bennett, such wonderful people, and I’m not saying that just because they read this blog in Halifax), for Christmas they gave my husband Rob and I the coolest thing: a barbeque briefcase! It has steak knives and bbq knives and all things barbeque. It all comes in a silver briefcase which I can bring to any big-time meeting to impress executives. They don’t need to know that the contents are barbeque tools and knives. And my sister and brother-in-law (Natalie and Paul) also wonderful and I’m not just saying that, gave us a ceramic pot that shoots out a giant flame! Outdoor use only! A barbeque briefcase and an outdoor flaming pot. They’re not just for summer anymore.

Have you broken any of your New Years resolutions yet? I haven’t. I made one resolution…..to read a book. I find its easy to keep your resolutions if you don’t give them an expiry date.

Back to the mild weather…… I am quite concerned right now that my tulips are going to start poking out. Last week at the cottage, I saw a chipmunk. Are they not supposed to be hibernating by now? And one of the surest signs that this has been a mild winter, for me at least, has been the absence of mice in the cottage. Usually towards November a mouse or two appears under the kitchen sink and settles in for the winter. He has the warmth of the dishwasher and a semi-regular food source: the swinging cupboard door garbage container. Ahhhhh…the life. But not this year. The mice are just as happy to stay outside, where at least they don’t have to deal with a shrieking woman everytime the cupboard door is opened.

Sometimes there is just no justice in this world. As I’ve mentioned many times, I am an amateur bird watcher. I’ve taken a course, I have the best birding binoculars, I have the best field guides, a diary to record my sightings, and bird feeders outside the window that are always stocked. I have never seen a cardinal. Actually, once while I was driving along Limebank Road I saw something red fly over-head for about 2 seconds. Could’ve been anything. And this is the real sad part……my on-air partner JR says he has cardinals in his yard constantly. And so does our producer, Hammer. They see so many cardinals, they’re like pigeons on a statue. They have multiple cardinal sightings each and every day. I would be filled with joy if I saw a cardinal. But , for JR and Hammer, seeing a cardinal is about as exciting as seeing a street-sweeper. Actually, I think they would prefer the street-sweeper. Sigh………….

I got quite tied up just before Christmas to really delve into this situation, but I intend to put effort into it now. Shortly before Christmas, someone stole my life-sized Mike Fisher cardboard cut-out from the office that I share with Steve Madely and Lowell Green. It has yet to surface. If anyone has any information, any leads at all, please contact me. You can remain anonymous as long as you give me your name, phone number, address, work number, and extension.Thank you for your help.

Thursday, December 28, 2006

How a 3 Pound Fawn Brought 12,000 People Together

Thank you thank you thank you!
Because one ‘thank you’ just doesn’t seem like enough. Bam Bam, quite possibly the most loved deer of all time (at least in the Ottawa valley!) is going home! Retired Greely couple Bruce and Christina Straby raised Bam Bam after finding her abandoned as a newborn fawn two years ago. Bam Bam had an idyllic life amongst other farm animals and became a beloved pet. Three weeks ago the Ministry of Natural Resources captured Bam Bam and brought her to a zoo. The Strabys were extremely distraught – they contacted the media – word got out and a petition was set up to bring Bam Bam home. 12,000 people signed it. On Friday December 22nd, Premier Dalton McGuinty arrived on the Strabys’ doorstep to deliver the news in person: Bam Bam was indeed going to be re-united with her ‘family’. It was an honest-to-goodness-feel-good Christmas story with a happy ending. Lots of hugs, tears of joy, complete strangers were brought together that afternoon with one common bond: never under-estimate the power of compassion. Thank you to Mr McGuinty for doing the right thing. Behind the scenes, there was a team of people who never gave up: thank you to the Ottawa Sun’s Nelly Elayoubi, Kelly Egan from the Citizen, Nepean Carleton MPP Lisa McLeod for her persistence at Queen’s Park (and for hand delivering the petition to the Premier’s Ottawa office!), lawyer Vicki Eatrides who hopped on board on ‘day 1’ and gave so much of her time and expertise to this story (and getting everyone she knew to write a letter… Vicki is my new best friend that I’ve never met), Lawrence Greenspon for his take-charge guidance, Tim Tierney for creating the petition website, and of course, thank you to the 12000 PEOPLE WHO SIGNED THE PETITION! Happy New Year, Bruce and Christina, and your little doe Bam Bam.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

White, Green or Blue Christmas?

So nice to hear from another ‘Sharkey’ across the pond! As a kid growing up in Ottawa, there were only three Sharkey families in Ottawa. My immediate family, my grandparents, and one other Sharkey family that we did not know. Now there are more Sharkeys in Ottawa, but I still don’t know any other than my immediate family. I got an email recently from Stephen Sharkey, who found my blog by accident, and he’s a blogger too! http://opoorrobinsoncrusoe.blogspot.com
Stephen Sharkey lives in London England, he’s a playwright and he blogs about theatre. Check out his blog! He has a lovely writing style, but if I may offer some advice to Stephen, I don’t think he uses the ‘exclamation mark’ often enough.

I still think there should be a ‘Christmas card’ Awards. (there are awards for everything else!) Thank you to Debbie Smith, who wrote to me about a card that she received last year from Pete and Sue Dippel. She loved the card so much, she saved it! The front of the card shows a log house in the mountains, smoke rising from the chimney. The card reads:
‘X’mas a comin
Purt near broke
But while we’re puttin’ the beans to soak
We send you this card
Instead of a letter
And hope you’re doin’ as good or better!

I love that card.
But, I was wondering….hmmmm… Debbie said that she loved the card so much, she SAVED it. Like that was something she never ever does. I save all my Christmas cards. I have for years. I have hundreds and hundreds of Christmas cards in shoe boxes. Why? I don’t know, exactly. I think its mostly because I feel too guilty about throwing them away. Same thing with birthday cards, any greeting cards. I have them all! If I throw them away, does this make me a bad person??? I need to know.
As I write this, its December 17, 2006, and up at my cottage, there is a motorboat going from one end of the lake to the other. The weather has been so mild that I half expect my tulips to start shooting up through the ground. It’s the question on everyone’s mind: will there be snow for Christmas Day? Even people who dislike snow, want snow for Christmas Day. But, why is it so important? I’m fine with either a White Christmas or a green Christmas. Because usually my Christmas Day is spent reading some kind of instruction manual to figure out how to turn on that electronic gift, reading my new Rolling Stone magazine that Santa put in my stocking, getting my husband to try on all his new sweaters to make sure they fit, giving my dogs some kind of dog-friendly chocolate, then driving over to this year’s family dinner, where family members are also pouring over manuals and trying on sweaters. Whether or not there is snow on the ground doesn’t seem to be much of a factor for me. I even think it would be kinda cool to go for a Christmas Day walk in the woods wearing only my new Christmas sweater. As long as it fits.

Thank you to all the people who are supporting the efforts to have the deer named ‘Bam Bam’ returned to her owners, Bruce and Christina Straby. If you are not familiar with the story, there is a link on this website, www.939bobfm.com just click on ‘save Bam Bam’. This will direct you to some Ottawa Sun articles about the story and a petition you can sign (www.savebambam.ca) . We very much want this story to have a happy ending in time for Christmas. I welcome all emails about this subject!!

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Hark! I'm Up on the Hoist!

Congratulations to Leslie Edwardson, winner of our ‘Deck the Walls’ contest! The grand prize: a mural painted by local muralist Patrick Killen (www.miragemurals.com)
Leslie has a photo of her son Mitchell playing goalie with the Leitrim Hawks, with none other than Wade Redden taking a slapshot at him. The photo was taken at a special Senators skate with minor hockey players. As our ‘Deck the Walls’ winner, Leslie is going to have that photo come to ‘life’ as a full sized mural on Mitchell’s bedroom wall! A fabulous Christmas gift. Thank you so much to all the wonderful BOB listeners who entered this contest!! And thank you to artist Patrick Killen for making a kid’s (and his Mom’s) dream come true!

The Christmas tv classics are back!! I think my favourite of all time is Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. I still need Kleenex to watch it. For years and years, I looked most forward to ‘How the Grinch Stole Christmas’…but now I look at it much differently. I can’t get past how mean the Grinch is to his dog, Max. And he probably should be wearing underwear. He has the same problem as Britney Spears.

I learned something new this week. Apparently, when you go for an oil change, most oil change places don’t let you stay in the car when the car is lifted up onto the hoist. My oil change place has always let me stay in the car. For me, it’s the only amusing part about getting an oil change. I get elevated quite high and I can see a bird’s eye view of everything. There’s a lot of shouting that takes place at these oil garages. And when I’m up on the hoist, I can barely hear it. There’s another advantage. I can read the newspaper in peace, talk on my cell phone, its fun to be on the hoist. Unless of course, the power goes out. I’d hate to miss dinner because I was stuck on a pole.

I got my first Christmas card. It has to be one of the best Christmas cards I have ever seen in my life, its from my friend Chris Knight at Knight Enterprises. Chris and his staff produce many tv shows right here in Ottawa, including ‘The Great Canadian Food Show’ and ‘License to Grill’. I can’t describe the Christmas card, because it ‘pushes the envelope’ a bit, but I really wish there was such a thing as the ‘Christmas Card Awards’. If you’ve received a Christmas card worth honourable mention, e-mail me back and let me know!

Friday, December 01, 2006

Hockey Night in Barbados!!!!!

Are you the biggest Senators fan on the face of the earth?! Here’s your chance to prove it – ALL THE WAY TO BARBADOS!!! We all know that Ottawa Senators owner Eugene Melnyk is passionate about hockey, and passionate about Barbados! And what’s in Barbados? ‘BERT’S BAR!!’ The Ottawa Senators present: ‘Hockey Night in Barbados’!! Send a 60 second video showing off why you are the Sens NUMBER ONE FAN!!! Sing, dance, paint your face, paint everything around you, add a little touch of Barbados, and send your video to www.ottawasenators.com (there’s also a link on this website)! The prize? You’re not going to believe it!!! The Sens NUMBER ONE FAN (plus guest) heads to Barbados in March, for 4 nights at the spectacular Accra Beach Hotel and Resort!! And here’s the clincher: you will get VIP treatment as you watch the Senators play the Leafs via satellite at Berts Bar in Barbados, WITH Eugene Melnyk, AND Bert himself!! (and I just found out I’ll be there too, I’ll behave, I promise) Get those videos in right now, the deadline for entries is December 22nd!!! GO SENS GO!!! Hockey, Barbados, the beach, and banana daquiris!! Best. Idea. Ever.


Last week, the unthinkable happened for thousands of people who were all buying stuff. For about 90 minutes, there was a technical problem and we couldn’t use our debit cards, or our Visa cards. We could only use CASH. Cash. What the heck is that. I never have cash. I use my debit card for everything. Yep. I’m one of those annoying people who uses my debit card to buy a newspaper and a pack of gum. I use my credit card to pay a $3.00 fee at the parking garage. At restaurants, the server has to bring that little machine to my table so I can use my debit card for an $8.00 lunch. Then there’s that uncomfortable moment where the server has to show me how to give him or her a tip using my debit card. Because I have no cash for a tip. Thank goodness the computers were back up in no time, and once again I could whip out my credit card or my debit card, and continue making purchases that I desperately need. Like a big fake tongue for my dog!! Who doesn’t need one of those?

Toby Rand is coming to town!! Jason from the Thirsty Toad, Bank at Riverside, continues his reign of Rockstar!! While ‘the Toad’ has hosted many stars from the Rockstar series, this one will take place at Centrepointe Theatre, Tuesday December 5th. Toby’s bringing his full band from Australia, Juke Kartel. Don’t know if he’s going to take his shirt off. He did that a lot on the tv show, displaying the message ‘EVS’. Finally Dave Navarro asked Toby what ‘EVS’ means, and he said it means ‘everything’s great’!!! Ah yes….once again, I ask…who has more fun than people. Tickets still available, check www.thirstytoad.com (or win them on BOB, of course)

I have now seen the movie ‘Open Water’, or parts thereof, about 10 or 11 times. Since getting the super duper 900 channel satellite television, I think I ten of those channels are movie channels. And, on 2 or 3 of those channels, on any given day, the movie ‘Open Water’ is on. It’s a pretty good movie. Its about a man and wife who go on a touristy scuba diving boat for an afternoon. They jump out of the boat, swim around underwater, have fun, look at fish, then the boat leaves without them. Yep. Due to a mis-count of passengers by the boat captain, they are just left there in the middle of the ocean. Husband and wife, bobbing away, waiting for the boat to come back. There are sharks in the ocean. I won’t give any more away, in case you haven’t seen the movie. But, if you have satellite tv, chances are you’ve seen Open Water. Quite a few times. Maybe we should have an Open Water club. Take a drink every time you see the sharks circle.

Friday, November 24, 2006

Its Not Stuffing Unless its Stuffed

There are people who absolutely live for Christmas, its an obsession through-out the year….planning, shopping, baking, decorating, a little bit here, a little bit there, with the full throttle Christmas preparations reaching a feverish pitch right around this time of year. I’m not one of those people. I did attempt the ‘Martha Stewart’ thing a few times, trying to actually make my own Christmas gifts. One year, all the females in my family were treated to the same home-made gift. Under the tree, were big green garbage bags, each labeled with the names of my sisters, mom, and sisters-in law. I can still picture all their faces when they opened the big green garbage bags (I didn’t know you could get giant Christmas gift bags). Inside, was a big mess of tangled twigs and broken pieces of dried flower. Yes, I had carefully crafted dried flower hangings (with flowers from my own garden) to give as Christmas gifts. By the time the dried flowers were stuffed into bags and placed under the tree, they had all but turned into twigs and dust and fluffy stuff mixed with seeds. I think one arrangement even included a dried grasshopper. Someone told me later that there’s some kind of aerosol spray that protects and hardens dried flowers…hmmm…that would’ve been useful information BEFORE-HAND. If you have a home-made-gift-turned-disaster story to share, email me back. ssharkey@939bobfm.com


I was watching the Rachael Ray show the other day, and she was making stuffing for the Thanksgiving turkey. One day I plan to cook a turkey, who knows, could be this year, could be sometime next year, so I was quite interested in her stuffing lesson. She had a huge frying pan, she fried up some onions in EVOO (extra virgin olive oil) , some sage, she threw in some dried cherries then crumbled up 6 cornbread muffins and mixed it all up. And that was it!!! She served it on the plate next to some turkey. I immediately made an alarming observation. Rachael Ray’s turkey stuffing never saw the inside of the turkey. Yet, she kept calling it ‘stuffing’. Its not ‘stuffing’, if its never been ‘stuffed’ into anything. C’mon, Rachael, nice try, but please, you can’t fool us.

Like many people, I have lots of framed photos on the mantel over my fireplace. None of the frames matched, so I went shopping this week and found the perfect frames, made of wood, painted with a greenish ‘milk paint’. The frames were from the ‘Prairie Wood’ collection. I took them home, put the photos into the new frames, they looked beautiful. When my husband got home I showed him the frames, and told him that they were from the ‘Prairie Wood’ collection. Hmmm. Interesting. Prairie WOOD. It was pointed out to me, that the prairies are not really known for their wooded areas. As a matter of fact, you can drive for a day without seeing a tree. I sure hope that my frame collection isn’t the remnants of the only tree in Saskatchewan. I wouldn’t feel so bad if my frames were made out of wheat.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Days of Our Lives Puts Ottawa on the Map!

Merry Christmas!! There. Might as well get that out of the way. You heard it here first!

This year, I really want outdoor Christmas lights in our trees. I have three tall pine trees on the lawn that need lights. Problem is, I have quite a large fear of heights. My husband Rob has no fear of heights whatsoever, but he’s knee deep in school assignments and exams and I don’t have the heart to ask him to do it. Which means, I need to get to the top of three 17 foot trees myself. I may just steal an idea I saw once in a neighbourhood in Orleans. Someone had put a 6 foot step-ladder on the front lawn and just draped the Christmas lights over it. By day,it looked like a ladder. But by night….it looked like a beautifully lit Christmas tree. If I don’t get over my fear of heights, I may just put the lights out on the ladder. And maybe I’ll throw some on the wheelbarrow too.

Dogs continue to amaze me. Anyone who has a dog knows how opportunistic they can be. I keep the dog food in a large 10 kg can in the spare room. With a lid on it. The other day I fed all three dogs then went on the computer for a while. The dogs were happily crunching away on their dinner. It takes my dogs about 4 minutes to eat their food! After about half an hour, I realized that one of my dogs, Hudson, was still crunching away. I checked in the spare room and there he was, eating as much food as possible from the big 10 kg can, with his food bowl still completely full. I had forgotten to put the lid back on the giant storage of dog food. Hudson had consumed about 4 dinners by the time I noticed what he was doing. And he had no intention of stopping. Would he have eaten all 10 kg of food if he could? The answer, I think, is a resounding ‘yes’.

Best. Bond. Ever. I went to the new James Bond movie, Casino Royale, and I think that Daniel Craig is unbelievable! Until now, it was always Sean Connery who won most critics’ polls as the best Bond. But I really believe that Daniel Craig should now hold that title. Casino Royale is a well-written movie, it’s filled with action but the best part of all, the unexpected bonus, is that Daniel Craig is a marvelous actor. Ottawa Citizen movie critic Jay Stone chuckled when I told him that Daniel Craig should be nominated for an Oscar for his acting performance. Come to think of it, so did everyone else. Oh yeah? You read it here first.

I’ve never been a soap opera fan, but I have been hooked on ‘Days of Our Lives’ this week. Why? Because the city of Ottawa has been part of the plot line! Here’s this week’s ‘Days of Our Lives’ Ottawa story-line, and I am not embellishing in any way: a woman by the name of Kayla was exposed to poison gas in a hospital, and the only doctor with the serum to save her life lives in Ottawa, BUT WAIT, there’s a huge blizzard in the lower provinces of Canada, so all commercial planes have been grounded, including all planes in Ottawa, which of course is located in the lower provinces of Canada. So a pilot named John volunteers to fly his private jet to Ottawa to get the serum to save Kayla’s life, snow storm or not!!! Away he goes, with his girlfriend Marlena along for the ride, flying through the blizzard until, ENGINE FAILURE!!! The plane is going down!!!! Marlena thinks that the plane will be OK if the load is lightened, so she JUMPS from the plane on the way to Ottawa, and lands on the snow somewhere near Ottawa!! A distraught John the pilot continues on, lands safely in Ottawa, and gets the serum! Meanwhile, his girlfriend Marlena is lost in the wilds of Ottawa!! Back home, Marlena’s daughter is horrified that her mother is missing! How can her mother survive the ‘THIRTY FEET OF SNOW and temperatures below zero’, she exclaims!! John the pilot flies back home with the serum, saves Kayla’s life, but still no sign of Marlena. As luck would have it, a man in a big parka stumbles across an unconscious Marlena in thirty feet of snow in the wilds around Ottawa, and takes her back to his cabin!! Marlena awakes, make-up and hair perfect! As luck would have it, the man in the parka is none other than ‘Smokey Robinson’! One of Marlena’s favourite singers! He gives her food, bandages up her sprained ankle (after all, she did jump from a plane) and then he sings a couple of songs! Saved by Smokey Robinson, who happens to have a cabin in the wild near Ottawa! Wow. ‘Days of Our Lives’ just became my favourite show of all time.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Bob Barker is Best in HD

Thank you to Liz Watts, and several other listeners, who e-mailed me back with their opinions about ‘Pal-entines Day’. Believe it or not, the poll was evenly divided. Half said ‘no way’! The last thing we need is another reason for people to spend money. The other half said ‘Heck yeah!!! Let’s have a Pal-entines Day’! One day of the year where we give a little something to our pals. And now, the clincher. There already IS a ‘Palentines Day’. How was I supposed to know? I thought I invented Palentines Day. But, nope. It exists, alright. Even has a website, www.palentinesday.com. The first ever Palentines Day was January 1st 2005. Just over 10 months ago. Anyway, its quite noble. It’s a celebration of America’s heroes. Quite nice. Sigh. Wish I’d thought of that.

Today is John Rodenburg’s birthday. He shares it with Nick Lachey, Lou Ferrigno, and Mary Travers from Peter, Paul, and Mary. They were the trio who sang ‘If I Had a Hammer’, and ‘Puff the Magic Dragon’. What’s up with that song? Think there may be a ‘hidden’ meaning behind ‘Puff the Magic Dragon?” Just wondering. Discuss amongst yourselves!

I don’t know about you, but I’m devastated by the news that Bob Barker is retiring from ‘The Price is Right’. I feel like Bob’s been there my entire life. Bob Barker is like comfort food. He’s just like shepherd’s pie or macaroni or tuna casserole like Mom used to make. Recently, I discovered the pleasures of watching Bob Barker in high definition. He’s only 83 years old! Why is he retiring already?! Maybe if Price Is Right contestants stopped knocking him over, he would stay on longer. We’re gonna miss you, Bob!
Even the pets that have been spayed or neutered love ya Bob!

Wow. Big news out of Hollywood. Britney Spears and Kevin Federline are getting a divorce. Who saw that coming? In a strange way, I feel kinda sorry for Kevin Federline. The minute the divorce was announced, the headlines changed to ‘Britney’s Back!! Britney is well on her way to a come-back’! Britney Back on Track’! Sheesh. The guy couldn’t have been all that bad. But he’ll probably land on his feet. Watch for Kevin Federline on the next edition of ‘I’m a D-List Celebrity Get me Outta Here’! Or maybe one day you’ll be channel surfing and Britney’s ex will be on your screen, leg wrestling with Danny Bonaduce.
Or maybe he’ll take up with Darva Conger. The world is Kevin Federline’s oyster.

There’s a new Lone Star Restaurant opening up in the Byward Market. Hopefully soon! I have to stop pressing my face up against the windows trying to get the workers’ attention to hurry up with whatever it is they still have to do to get the place ready so we can eat fajitas and salsa and con queso dip every single day across the street from where I work!!! How much longer do we have to wait!!!! The humanity!!!!

Friday, October 27, 2006

How do you like Pal-entines Day?

Ottawa Firefighters have donated their time and energy to appear in a 2007 calendar. Michelle Valberg took the photos of these fine men. The calendar is $20.00 and proceeds go to the Ottawa Heart Institute. Buy yours today. For every female on your Christmas list. For information, email Julie Gowan at the Heart Institute, jgowan@ottawaheart.ca
Do your part. Buy several 2007 Firefighters Calendars. Because the men worked hard for it.

This week I heard the first radio commercial that mentioned a Christmas sale. The date of the Christmas sale was November 1st. The very next day after Hallowe’en! Each year, Christmas inches its way closer and closer to Hallowe’en. JR and I have a prediction for next year: someone will have a Christmas sale BEFORE Oct 31st, Hallow’een. Then, as soon as that happens, the doors will be blown wide open. Christmas sales will then battle it out with ‘Back to School’ sales. Just watch!!! It’ll happen.

I’d like to suggest a whole new reason to go out and buy someone something. Next to Christmas, birthdays, graduations, anniversaries, things like that, how about: ‘Pal-entines Day’. Palentines Day would be much like Valentines Day, except you surprise your ‘pals’ with gifts. Your best pal since high school, your neighbourhood pal, your work pal, your poker pals, your book club pals, all your pals get a card and maybe even some chocolates or beer! What do you think? ‘Pal-entines Day’! We just have to find room for it on the calendar. And since Christmas now takes up October to mid-January, that could be a bit of a challenge. When’s a good time of year to have Palentines Day? Email me at ssharkey@939bobfm.com and let me know if ‘Pal-entines Day’ is a good idea. Or not. If I get at least 5 people who like the idea, I’m prepared to run with it.
Of course, if I get a bigger response from people who think its stupid, I will place the idea on top of the pile of ideas that never took off, including the ‘man feeder’.

Thanks again to the Thirsty Toad, Bank at Riverside, for another great time with the rockers from ‘Rock Star’! Storm Large blew into town and put on an amazing show. She defeated me in a leg wrestle but the tables were turned quickly when it came time to arm wrestle. Get your tix soon for Gilbey Clarke and Lukas Rossi, coming to ‘The Toad’ on November 11th! It’ll be an outdoor show in a heated tent and as always – there will be special surprises!!! Info at www.thirstytoad.com


Go Sens Go!!!! Have you noticed that a lot of Sens fans are driving around with Senators car flags? I love it! Usually they seem to come out only during the play-off season, but many folks are proudly driving around right now with flags flapping! I wonder what the record is for keeping a Sens car flag. I usually have mine for about 2 days before I forget its there, open the car window, then watch my flag fly away over the Queensway.


Trick or treat! Happy Hallowe’en!!! May your Hallowe’en goodie bag be filled with the good stuff. It’s a good year if you have 45 percent chocolate bars, 45 percent chips or doritoes, and just 10 percent hallowe’en kisses. That’s a serious loot bag. And remember, if you’re neighbourhood is a bit on the cheap side, always get your parents to drive you to the neighbourhood that gives out the really good stuff.

Friday, October 20, 2006

What Dogs Would Do With $750

Let’s see….we have a parrot that sings ‘Hit the Road Jack…a border collie/jack Russell terrier mix that stands on the balls of her owner’s feet and catches a Frisbee…a cat that rolls over….another cat that flushes the toilet….a dog that skateboards. These are just some of the entries in JR and Sandy’s ‘Stupid Pet Tricks’ coming to the Carlingwood Mall next Saturday Oct 28th. Carlingwood is offering some great prizes, the best pet trick gets $750 to spend at the mall! I think the pet should get the shopping spree, since the pet did all the work, right?
What would a dog do with $750?
Hmmmm…..
Here’s a typical dog shopping list:
1. a cat $100.00
2. 100 rawhide bones $200.00
3. Doritos $20.00
4. a bed. a real bed, not one of those ‘dog’ beds $300.00
5. device that turns the knob on the exterior door (priceless)
6. toilet paper, Kleenex, paper towels, an assortment of delicious paper products $50.00
7. shoes, any size, for chewing 2 pairs $70.00

GRAND TOTAL $ 750.00

Back in September, the newest ‘Tickle Me Elmo’ appeared on store shelves here in Ottawa. Its called ‘TMX’ Elmo, although I have no idea what the TMX stands for. Anyway, this bright red fuzzy Elmo lies on its back and kicks its legs in the air then pounds the floor, all the while laughing hysterically. I immediately wanted one, and planned to buy one the 2nd day they went on sale (at the ridiculous price of $49.95). That day, I never got a chance to go shopping. Then a couple of days went by, a week, two weeks, and sure enough…..today, I find out that TMX Tickle Me Elmo is nowhere to be found in Canada, and will not be in stores until sometime around February or March! This news devastated me, and I don’t even have kids! For those parents who already have the kids’ Christmas list taped to the fridge, and TMX Tickle Me Elmo is on that list, here’s some news for you. You decide whether the news is good or bad: last time I checked, there were 5,450 TMX Tickle Me Elmo’s on e-bay. Nothing says Merry Christmas like a Tickle Me Elmo that you bought for $160.00 , plus $25.00 for shipping, from someone in Australia. Remember when you were a kid, and you got those three cans of Play-Doh? And a Barrel of Monkeys? And maybe Lite-Brite? And you and your sisters all got an EZ-Bake Oven?
And the manufacturers made enough of them for everybody! P.s. I’ll trade my Sea Monkey kit for a TMX Elmo. Straight trade. No questions.

Uh oh, the pressure of Hallowe’en is almost upon us once again. I think of Hallowe’en as quite stressful. Simply because I can never think of an interesting costume idea. Hey look at Sandy! That’s a great ghost costume! Big white sheet, two holes cut out for eyes, that’s really good! Welcome to my typical Hallowe’en. This year, I will NOT be a ghost!!! Maybe I’ll be a witch. Or a pirate. Those are the only costume ideas I have. See, told ya.

This week, TV Guide announced that it would no longer be making a ‘print’ version of the weekly tv listings for Canada. TV Guide Canada will now only be available on-line. On the morning show, I joked about that, saying what a shame because you will not be able to read the TV Guide in the bathroom any longer. Well, shut my mouth! We received so many phone calls from listeners happily admitting that they bring their lap-top computer into the washroom. While ‘doing their thing’, with pants around the ankles, they are also surfing the net, watching a video, downloading ‘Lost’, emailing friends, whatever. Wow. Talk about multi-tasking. It has never occurred to me to do this. With my luck I would drop the laptop into the you-know-what then have to explain that to the warranty people.