It all started one morning when I looked out into the yard and saw a chicken fly by and land in a tree. I had just woken up and all of my sensibilities had yet to kick in, so I really did think this was a chicken in my winter-naked maple tree. Then I got a better look. It was the world’s biggest woodpecker. It was the size of a chicken. I felt like I had just seen a UFO or Sasquatch or the Loch Ness Monster. I knew that if I told someone that I had a ten pound woodpecker in my yard, they would roll their eyes and change the subject quickly. It would later be confirmed (by my trusty Audobon bird guide) that sitting in my tree was a pileated woodpecker. And yes, it was the size of a chicken. Giant woodpecker, with a red crest and a moustache. Kinda looked like William H. Macey in the movie ‘Fargo’. Anyway, since I blabbed about my sighting on the radio, I would personally like to thank all of the listeners who have shared their pileated woodpecker stories with me. As it turns out, these giant birds are fairly common. Who knew?
I was sitting on the couch the other day, eating a bowl of Lay’s potato chips. Mostly because I had housework to do. My three dogs don’t usually beg for food, but my dog Hudson really likes chips. So he sat at my knees staring at me and my chips for a while, then disappeared. Moments later, he returned with his rawhide bone, which he promptly dropped into my bowl of chips. This was a new twist. He was offering me a trade. Of course, it worked. He got chips. I got a slobbery rawhide bone. Drat! Out-smarted by one of my dogs yet again.
This year, more than 7 million Americans will be buying a 52-inch (or larger) plasma tv. I don’t have the Canadian stats, but per capita, its probably similar. Men are doing everything they can to convince their wives that a tv which takes up two thirds of the living room is not only quite acceptable, its really cool. And the funny thing is, this has lead to record sales in jewellery. Believe it or not, your man wanting a giant screen HD plasma LCD whatever tv, often leads to you getting some surprise jewellery. Not a bad deal. Except you may have to climb over the tv to get to your new necklace.
Its Olympics time once again! If you’re like me, you can’t get enough of Olympics coverage. I think I must watch about 5 hours a day, of course while wearing my Canadian Olympic sweater. My vote for most fearless Olympians has to go to the members of the various skeleton teams. Nothing like going head-first down a track at a gazillion miles an hour. I salute all of our Canadian athletes. The difference between them and people like me, is that they actually stuck to a plan.
I wonder if there are any tickets available for the gold medal mens hockey game.
