Darn that time change weekend thing! The time in my car is off by one hour and I guess it will stay that way for the next 6 months, because I seem to have mis-placed the car manual. Come to think of it, isn’t it kinda odd that a car comes with a ‘manual’? Pg 2: put key in ignition. Pg 3: while in ignition, turn key. Pg 4: if there’s a screeching sound like a thousand hell-cats coming from the engine, you’ve already turned the car on. You don’t have to do it twice.
I can’t find my car scraper, either. Car scrapers are like socks. I think they all end up in the same place. There’s an island that no one has ever stumbled upon, filled with single socks and car scrapers.
I was surfing on the internet the other day and came across a special cruise that’s taking place next February. It’s the Dave Matthews Rock and Roll Cruise. Leaves from Miami, then you spend three days on the ship with Dave Matthews, then you go to a ‘secret’ island in the Bahamas and Dave plays a show on the beach. Sounds pretty cool. For US! For Dave, hmmmm. When you’re on a cruise ship, there’s no escaping. If the fan from hell is also on board, yikes. I can just imagine Dave Matthews trying to grab a shrimp cocktail at midnight. “Hey! Look everyone!! Its Dave Matthews!!! Hey Dave!!! Do you know any Beatles songs?!’ Anything by Chumbawumba?’ Looks like you got too much sun today, Dave! How’s the shrimp, Dave?
I enjoy running into friends that I haven’t seen in ages. But today, I was exiting a pharmacy with a total of 48 rolls of toilet paper under my arms. It was on sale. I heard someone call out ‘Sandy!” and it was an old friend that I hadn’t seen in probably ten years. We made small talk, you know, the usual stuff, what are you up to these days, blah blah do you ever see anyone from school, blah blah blah…but the whole time I was wondering….does this person think I have a rather abnormal amount of toilet paper tucked under my arms? Should I just volunteer the information that there was a fantastic sale on toilet paper? Or would that shift the conversation to a really boring place? Why would someone need 48 rolls of toilet paper? Or did he even notice? What am I supposed to do in this situation? Just before I got myself into a self-induced sweat, my friend simply walked away. Sheesh. Nice talking to you , too.
