What Dogs Would Do With $750

Let’s see….we have a parrot that sings ‘Hit the Road Jack…a border collie/jack Russell terrier mix that stands on the balls of her owner’s feet and catches a Frisbee…a cat that rolls over….another cat that flushes the toilet….a dog that skateboards. These are just some of the entries in JR and Sandy’s ‘Stupid Pet Tricks’ coming to the Carlingwood Mall next Saturday Oct 28th. Carlingwood is offering some great prizes, the best pet trick gets $750 to spend at the mall! I think the pet should get the shopping spree, since the pet did all the work, right?
What would a dog do with $750?
Hmmmm…..
Here’s a typical dog shopping list:
1. a cat $100.00
2. 100 rawhide bones $200.00
3. Doritos $20.00
4. a bed. a real bed, not one of those ‘dog’ beds $300.00
5. device that turns the knob on the exterior door (priceless)
6. toilet paper, Kleenex, paper towels, an assortment of delicious paper products $50.00
7. shoes, any size, for chewing 2 pairs $70.00

GRAND TOTAL $ 750.00

Back in September, the newest ‘Tickle Me Elmo’ appeared on store shelves here in Ottawa. Its called ‘TMX’ Elmo, although I have no idea what the TMX stands for. Anyway, this bright red fuzzy Elmo lies on its back and kicks its legs in the air then pounds the floor, all the while laughing hysterically. I immediately wanted one, and planned to buy one the 2nd day they went on sale (at the ridiculous price of $49.95). That day, I never got a chance to go shopping. Then a couple of days went by, a week, two weeks, and sure enough…..today, I find out that TMX Tickle Me Elmo is nowhere to be found in Canada, and will not be in stores until sometime around February or March! This news devastated me, and I don’t even have kids! For those parents who already have the kids’ Christmas list taped to the fridge, and TMX Tickle Me Elmo is on that list, here’s some news for you. You decide whether the news is good or bad: last time I checked, there were 5,450 TMX Tickle Me Elmo’s on e-bay. Nothing says Merry Christmas like a Tickle Me Elmo that you bought for $160.00 , plus $25.00 for shipping, from someone in Australia. Remember when you were a kid, and you got those three cans of Play-Doh? And a Barrel of Monkeys? And maybe Lite-Brite? And you and your sisters all got an EZ-Bake Oven?
And the manufacturers made enough of them for everybody! P.s. I’ll trade my Sea Monkey kit for a TMX Elmo. Straight trade. No questions.

Uh oh, the pressure of Hallowe’en is almost upon us once again. I think of Hallowe’en as quite stressful. Simply because I can never think of an interesting costume idea. Hey look at Sandy! That’s a great ghost costume! Big white sheet, two holes cut out for eyes, that’s really good! Welcome to my typical Hallowe’en. This year, I will NOT be a ghost!!! Maybe I’ll be a witch. Or a pirate. Those are the only costume ideas I have. See, told ya.

This week, TV Guide announced that it would no longer be making a ‘print’ version of the weekly tv listings for Canada. TV Guide Canada will now only be available on-line. On the morning show, I joked about that, saying what a shame because you will not be able to read the TV Guide in the bathroom any longer. Well, shut my mouth! We received so many phone calls from listeners happily admitting that they bring their lap-top computer into the washroom. While ‘doing their thing’, with pants around the ankles, they are also surfing the net, watching a video, downloading ‘Lost’, emailing friends, whatever. Wow. Talk about multi-tasking. It has never occurred to me to do this. With my luck I would drop the laptop into the you-know-what then have to explain that to the warranty people.

Ignore the Screams in the Gatineau Hills!

The Thirsty Toad is on the map!!! Congratulations to Jason, Pat and everyone involved in Saturday’s ‘Party Like a Rock Star’ outdoor show at the Thirsty Toad, starring Dilana and Magni from Rock Star Supernova!! It was a fantastic day….great weather…a great crowd including lots of rocker kids 5, 6 and 7 years old….and we can’t say enough about Dilana and Magni, playing for 2 hours and it was obvious they were really enjoying themselves! Stay tuned for more Rock Star shows at the Thirsty Toad, including Sweet Suzie McNeil this Saturday, Storm Large on Oct 21st, and Ryan Starr on November 4th! The corner of Bank and Riverside is officially Ottawa’s newest place to ROCK! I grew up in that area and the intersection of Bank and Riverside used to be where I’d wait with a big bag of bread to cross the street so I could feed the swans on the river. But now, its Ottawa’s intersection of ROCK! Besides, the swans aren’t there right now anyway because they are in lock down. For more about the upcoming shows, check out www.thirstytoad.com!!!

And it’s the dog’s time to party, too! This weekend, BARK (Bytown Association of Rescued Canines) is hosting their annual ‘Bark in the Park’, Saturday and Sunday at the Bruce Pit, Cedarview Road!! There will be craft tables, doggie products, animal communicator Elizabeth Wright will be there, and you can have your pet’s photo taken by a pro, for just five bucks! The autumn colors at Bruce Pit are gorgeous right now, so it’s the perfect time to get those shots. Unless your dog is orange. Then you should move him away from the trees for the best effect. For more, go to www.bark-ottawa.com

I went on a hike in the Gatineau Hills on Thanksgiving Sunday and I brought my binoculars for bird-watching. Of course, I forgot my reference guide so what I saw, was a brown bird, then another brown bird, then 2 brown birds and a woodpecker. But once I got deep into the woods, I was startled by a ruffed grouse. These birds are about the size of a chicken, and they hide in the brush until you just about step on one. Then they fly up past your face at one hundred miles an hour. The first time this happened, I screamed at the top of my lungs. Then I collected myself and kept going. I encountered three more ruffed grouses, each one causing me to let out a blood-curdling scream. So, to all the hikers/nature lovers/birdwatchers in the Gatineau Hills on the weekend, not to worry, if you heard four separate screams coming from the woods, those were just my 4 ruffed grouse encounters. Sigh…can’t wait to get back there again. Nature is so relaxing.

I am so thrilled about the buzz around actor Adam Beach, who stars in the Clint Eastwood-directed film ‘Flags of Our Fathers’, in theatres next week. ‘Flags of Our Fathers’ follows the story of the flag-raisers at the Battle of Iwo Jima. Adam plays a soldier by the name of Ira Hayes, and he is in good company. The movie also stars Ryan Phillipe, Barry Pepper and Paul Walker. Check out what all the buzz is about at www.flagsofourfathers.net
I first met Adam back in March when he was involved with the Humane Society Fur Ball. I was always a fan of his work, I thought he was amazing in the movie ‘Windtalkers’ with Nicolas Cage. He and his gorgeous wife Tara are two of the kindest people you’d ever meet, and both have a wicked sense of humour. I wish nothing but success for Adam and Tara, and judging from the early buzz around ‘Flags of Our Fathers’, I think we’ll see this handsome couple on the red carpet at the Oscars. Way to go!

And now…one final message…this is to the shmuck who stole my purse from the trunk of my friend’s car in Montreal on Friday night. I have no I.D. You stole it all! And don’t go around using my I.D. Trust me, it will not get you anywhere. I am currently in the ‘hell’ that is…replacing everything that was in my wallet. Everywhere I go to apply for new I.D, I get asked to show my I.D. You can see why I’m getting nowhere. Oh well, I have several members of the Montreal police force working on the case, day and night. LolI hope this never happens to you. I’m not looking forward to getting a new driver’s license photo

Uh Oh Ugly Betty Looks like my Yearbook Photo

CONGRATULATIONS to Joy Lonsdale, our big winner in ‘Bob’s Deal or No Deal’!!!!! Joy played the game perfectly, and with Steve Gregory as the host, ‘the master of suspense’, she won $15,000!!!!! Check this website to see who won over the past few weeks, and how much, wow- it was a ton of fun! And how’s this for irony…..last night, I watched the tv version of ‘Deal or No Deal’ with Howie Mandel, and one guy walked away with $9,000…….not a bad haul, but the BOB FM radio version handed out $15,000!! Way to go, Joy!!

I stumbled on something kinda cool the other day, on the website www.biography.com. Its called ‘celebrity soul-mate search’. Doesn’t matter if you’re happily hooked up with someone, its fun anyway. You just answer a few questions about your ‘perfect celebrity mate’, and they tell you who (in another life) would be your perfect famous spouse! I found out that my perfect match is Matthew McConnaughey. OK, so maybe I cheated on some of the questions. When I went back and entered the answers with 100 percent honesty, I found out that I should be married to Abraham Lincoln. I think I prefer Matthew McConnaughey.

Have you seen the new show, ‘Ugly Betty’? It premiered last week. I thought it was great. The premise of the show is that ‘Betty’, who is ‘ugly’, with big glasses and braces and poor fashion taste, gets a job working for a high brow fashion magazine in New York, surrounded by beautiful people. But, here’s my problem. I don’t think Betty….is ‘ugly’. I think she’s rather attractive, in fact. Is it just me? Or do you think that ‘Ugly Betty’ isn’t ugly enough to be called ‘ugly’? The fact that Ugly Betty looks exactly like my grade 7 yearbook picture has nothing to do with my opinion on this issue.

And now we go full circle. Check out the website, www.cuteoverload.com. This website is nothing but cute stuff, yep, kittens, puppies, fuzzy ducklings, kids with puppies, kids with bunnies, all things cute. Because everyone needs to look at something cute every once in a while. Good way to take your mind off your yearbook picture.


I have a goldfish who is obviously a big fan of David Blaine’s. You know, that illusionist guy who immersed himself in a giant glass water tank and stayed there for five days in Times Square. My goldfish is the fish equivalent of David Blaine, except in reverse. Twice in the past month I have walked by the aquarium he lives in with his 5 goldfish buddies, only to find that he is on the floor. This is a 3-inch long goldfish living in a 6 foot long, 130 gallon aquarium. So its not because he needs his space. Both times, I shrieked in horror at the sight of him lying on the carpet, only to put him back in the aquarium where he quickly shook it all off and went back to eating big mouthfuls of gravel then spitting them out. Which is his favourite hobby. Maybe I should set up some sort of webcast so that I can monitor him while I’m at work. But then again, with a webcast in my house I may also see my dog walking around in my underwear.

Hope I can rub Magni's head!!

Yippee!!! Yayyyy!!! Wooo hooo!!!! Yahoo!!! Dilana and Magni are coming to town!!! If you have not seen ‘Rock Star Supernova’, you’re probably wondering, who the heck are Dilana and Magni. However, if you are a Rock Star Supernova fan, this is big news!!! The Thirsty Toad at Bank and Riverside is hosting a really cool all ages outdoor show, with colorful Dilani and super cool Magni on Saturday Oct 7th, details at www.thirstytoad.com. Of course, BOB FM has tickets, so keep listening! I can’t wait! Its an acoustic show, but Dilana’s voice is so powerful, you’ll probably hear her all the way up the Rideau River. Cool! And I hope Magni sings the Jimi Hendrix tune he did on ‘Rock Star’…let me stand next to your fire…
I hope I get a chance to meet Magni, he was always my favorite rocker on the show. And I hear if you rub his bald head, it brings you good luck.

How would you like to have some laughs AND support a great cause at the same time? Now on sale, a hilarious new book called ‘I’m Not Wearing Pants, True Tales from Canadian Radio Gals’. This book is a fun compilation of stories from women in radio, (including some classic embarrassing moments on the air). I have a story in the book, and I have to congratulate the editor on a job well done. It couldn’t have been easy editing my 200 page story into 3 pages. True Tales was the brainchild of Kelsi Jordan from Country 105 radio in Calgary! Way to go, Kelsi! A portion of the proceeds goes to the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation, and you can get your copy at www.theradiogirl.com!

I drove by the Prime Minister’s residence the other day, and noticed that the landscaping crew was working away just outside the gates. One worker had a giant leaf blower that was quite powerful, and it was really doing do its job, sending leaves in one direction at a hundred miles an hour. Then I noticed that the worker was blowing the leaves from the Prime Minister’s residence over to the Governor General’s residence. Hmm. Reminds me of that old saying. ‘He who blows leaves last laughs first’. Or maybe I just made that up.

I have a neighbour who has fake flowers in his flower beds. I made this observation in the spring, when the snow was just starting to recede and huge plastic blooms started to appear through the snow. Pinks, reds, yellows, whites, all colors. I think they are fake peonies, to be exact. Anyway, these plastic flowers continued to brighten this person’s garden all season long. I drove by this same neighbour’s place the other day, and something in his driveway caught my eye. He had cases and cases of fake logs just delivered. While many are ordering a cord of wood for the winter, my neighbour with the fake flowers in the garden has ordered a cord of fake logs for his fireplace. I just hope he doesn’t have a fake fireplace.

Revenge of the Socks

Ok, so its here!! This week, the new Tvtropolis game show, ‘Inside the Box’ debuted. Its on every weeknight at 7pm. I don’t know which episode I’m on, it could be tonight, it could be three weeks from now, it could be on the cutting room floor. I’m actually quite frightened about watching myself on this tv trivia game show, as I very much ‘crashed and burned’. The fact that I never saw one episode of ‘Melrose Place’ certainly came back to haunt me. But the worst part of all, is that my biggest challenge wasn’t necessarily remembering the name of a tv show, it was trying to remember the names of the other two contestants. As it turns out, this is a rather integral part of the game. Who knew??

Have you watched many of the new tv shows? Outside of ‘Inside the Box’, I’ve seen Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip with Matthew Perry. I thought it was a great premiere episode. If you saw it too, did you happen to catch the slight ‘shot’ that was taken at the city of Vancouver? In one scene the actors were talking about saving money by shooting a movie in Vancouver, then Vancouver was shot down, because it doesn’t look like any other city, never did, blah blah. Its no secret that American show biz technical crews are peeved about losing jobs to Canadians, as more and more productions are being shot in Vancouver, Toronto, Montreal, and even Ottawa! Anyway, on ‘Studio 60’ I thought it was an incredibly obvious shot at Vancouver. The ironic thing was that Matthew Perry, an OTTAWAN, was in the scene. Ok that’s my rant for now.

Speaking of productions filmed here in Ottawa, I got a call from Meagan at ‘Mountain Road Productions’, letting me know about a new tv show that was shot in and around the Ottawa valley. Its called ‘Be Real’, and its on at 7 pm every Wednesday on Tvtropolis. (yes, just before ‘Inside the Box’!) ‘Be Real’ is a fun, off the cuff show where regular people get their own tv show for a day, it’s a bit of a parody on reality shows. It was shot in Ottawa, Perth, Carleton Place, and soon to be Kingston. Check out ‘Be Real’, that may be your neighbour or co-worker on tv!

What’s the capital of Peru? Whats the name of the new Guns ‘n Roses album that Axl Rose has promised for five years? What breed of dog doesn’t bark? If you know the answers to any or all of these questions, or none at all, either way, then this is for you!!! World Trivia Night!! On Friday Nov 3rd, the Aberdeen Pavilion turns into the world’s biggest trivia game and it’s a ton of fun. Plus, it’s a fundraiser for ‘Champions for Children’! Get a team together and register at www.worldtrivianight.com. You can have up to 10 people on your team, so it’s a good idea to find people who have certain strengths, ie, one person is a geography nut, one is a pop culture fanatic, one knows all about sports, etc. If you need someone who is an expert on cleaning supplies, from Windex to Fantastik, that would be me. I also know quite a bit about dairy cattle.


I have some sort of strange medical condition. I’m not sure whether or not I should see a doctor. About a year ago, I bought about 20 pairs of socks. They were all exactly the same, except different colors. I wear them almost every day. The tops of the socks are elasticized, as all socks are. A couple of days ago, I wasn’t wearing my socks, but I noticed that on each of my legs, that would be, both legs, right in my skin is the indentation of the pattern of my socks. I thought nothing of it at the time, but I decided to stop wearing my socks to see what would happen. And here it is, two days later, and the indentation of my socks is still there. I fear that a year of wearing the same style of socks over and over again for a year has left my upper ankles with permanent sock marks. So let this be a warning to you. If you take my advice just once, let it be this: always rotate different styles of socks. Don’t let this happen to you.

Ths is a Non Celebrity Smoking Section

Its been a pretty tame Toronto Film Festival, so thank goodness for Sean Penn!! We can always count on Sean Penn to stir things up a bit. At a press conference in a Toronto hotel, to promote his new film, ‘All the Kings Men’, Sean Penn did the unthinkable! He smoked a couple of cigarettes! This unforgivable offence has now landed Sean Penn in hot water with our Minister of Health, Jim Watson. And a photograph of Sean Penn with said cigarette dangling from his mouth has been picked up by newspapers all over the world. (I’m not a smoker, and I agree with the smoking ban). I find this story amusing for a different reason. We allow celebrities to get away with just about everything. We just don’t allow them to get away with smoking. Even Keith Richards was cited for smoking on stage in Glasgow Scotland a couple of weeks ago. It is not acceptable for even our crustiest rockers to smoke. We let celebrities get the best section of the restaurant, we dutifully respect celebrities’ security, they can bump you from your honeymoon suite if they want the entire floor of a hotel, but they just can’t smoke. If we can’t smoke, they can’t smoke. Its become the one thing that regular folk and ‘celebrities’ have in common. It doesn’t matter if you’re Madonna, Bono, or The Pope. You can’t smoke in a public place in Ontario. Although I doubt the Pope will face this problem.

Congratulations to Lukas Rossi of Toronto, new lead singer of ‘Supernova’! Wow, Toronto’s JD Fortune won the Rock Star contest last year, now fronting INXS, and here we have yet another Toronto boy taking the prize. Is there something in the water in Toronto? I wonder if Lukas Rossi’s hairstyle will be the new trend. Black hair, big white stripe down the middle. Just like a skunk. Thick mascara, eyeliner, even lip gloss. It’s a good thing Lukas won this contest to be in a rock band. Don’t know that he would’ve fit in at a 9 to 5 office job!

Isn’t it great that we are getting some relief at the gas pumps? I got gas today at 86.9, what a deal! But my happiness quickly turned to aggravation, when I couldn’t actually ‘leave’ the gas station. In the downtown core, taxi cabs pull into gas stations to grab a coffee and donut and newspaper, and they park right in the middle lane between the two gas pump islands. Then the guy at the gas pump in front of you also goes inside the gas station superstore and rents a movie, gets a bag of ice, picks up some lottery tickets. The woman at the pump behind you has disappeared too. This is what I call the ‘gas station box-in’. Does this happen to you, too? At least while I was waiting for someone to let me leave the gas station, I got to read my newspaper with the big news story about Sean Penn smoking.

Canadian Idol’s Eva Avila from Gatineau is 19 years old, and it was revealed this week that she is dating another Canadian Idol finalist, Chad Doucette, who is 17 years old. Way to go, Chad!

And speaking of cute new couples, Liberal MP Belinda Stronach is now dating Toronto Maple Leafs’ Tie Domi. Insert your own comments here.

Congratulations to Ottawa’s Dawn Ferrell, the winner of the BOB FM/Corner Gas contest. Dawn flies out to Regina and joins the cast of Corner Gas to be our very own entertainment correspondent, and next season, she will have a ‘walk-on’ role on this popular CTV comedy! We did chat with Dawn on the morning show, and it wouldn’t surprise us if Dawn becomes a regular on ‘Corner Gas’. She is one of the bubbliest people ever. There are people who are just not ‘morning people’, and then there are people like Dawn. Listen to ‘the Morning After’ on BOB FM this Monday, and catch Dawn’s first reports from the set of Corner Gas in Dog River Saskatchewan. I bet she makes a big impression on Brent Butt.

We are still taking votes for Ottawa’s most annoying animated computer voice. The nominees are: ‘Emily’ from Bell Canada, the Rogers guy, Claire from Ticketmaster, the Bell area code lady, and my personal favourite, the female computer voice at Loblaws self-scanning checkout. The one who reminds you, after each and every scanned item, to ‘please put the item in the bag’. Loblaws also sells tv’s and patio furniture. Just try to put that in a bag.

Congratulations to Chantal Dugas and her dog ‘Cruzer’!! Cruzer was chosen Ottawa’s top dog, and he’ll lead the pack at the Iams Wiggle Waggle Walkathon for the Humane Society this Sunday at the Arboretum! Cruzer is a five year old border collie who regularly visits the elderly, is a friend to Foster kids, he participates in agility, and loves to swim. You can meet Cruzer and about 1500 other dogs too, at the Walk this Sunday!! Get your pledge form on the pet friendly section of this website.

Thank you so much to ‘Canada’s first lady’, Laureen Harper, for being one of the judges of the Top Dog contest. The judging took place at 24 Sussex Drive, where I very carefully held my coffee cup. Laureen was gracious enough to take us on a tour of the Prime Minister’s residence, and its absolutely breath-taking. One décor feature, however, is a bit different. The carpeting on the grand staircase is a faux leopard print. This was installed by one of our Prime Minister’s wives. Hmmmmm. Think I’ll keep her identity a secret.

Humour in the workplace is a good idea. Every workplace has at least one person who you can count on to pull the odd prank. He or she is the jokester in the group. Most likely to provide the harmless fun that brings employees together for a couple of guffaws around the water cooler. This week, my hat’s off to the Ikea employee who decided that the 175 million copies of the 2007 Ikea catalogue needed a little ‘spicing up’. Not sure if this guy still has a job, but he sure found a new way to promote Ikea. Check it out for yourself! Look for the tv watching dog. I’ll just leave it at that.

Not to sound like a broken record, but summer sure went fast this year. Is it just my imagination, or did everything happen at once: first day of school, cool weather, and a red maple tree on my street. I could swear that on Labour Day Monday, that tree was green. The next day it was completely red. But, hey, if you’re a regular Costco shopper, they’ve had their Hallowe’en stuff out since June.

I saw a story on CNN the other day, about a growing trend : more and more parents are bribing their kids to get ‘A’s in school. One ‘A’, ten bucks, two ‘A’s’, the kid gets twenty bucks, three ‘A’s, uh…hmmmmm.
I never got paid to get ‘A’s. Maybe if I did get cold hard cash to get ‘A’s’ in school, I would not be working in radio. Just kidding.

Besides the youngsters headed back to school this week, the career students are back at it too. We all know one. That one friend who is in their 30’s, maybe even 40’s, and I’m sure there are some in their 50’s, who go have gone to university their entire life. It started fresh out of high school, 3 years business admin, then 3 years in communication, then onto the sciences for a while, a couple of years of Greco-roman history, and now they are fully enrolled in architecture but seriously considering aviation technology. I admire this tenacity and dedication to higher learning. But at some point they have to move out of their parents’ house!

If you’ve been following ‘Rock Star Supernova’ (my personal favourite reality show) its starting to look more and more like Lukas is going to win this thing. The show was originally edited to make Lukas look like an aloof, glum guy who made no connection with any of the other singers. But over the past few weeks, we see Lukas playing basketball. Lukas playing ping pong. And last night on Rock Star, previously taped footage of Lukas skipping rope with the others. I think that’s skipping rope game is called ‘double dutch’. The heavy black mascara, the tattoos, the hair colored like a skunk, yep, that’s Lukas, skipping rope. Supernova wants us to love him. Because he’s their new lead singer. Unless, of course, I’m wrong.

My husband called me on his cell phone while driving across town today because he saw a cardinal flying over Johnston Road. I know that there is talk of banning cell phones while driving, but I’m not totally convinced that we need a ban. And I think this little story exemplifies the need for those important phone calls.
Have you spotted an Ottawa Senator lately? Needless to say , they are starting to re-group and they have been all over town making appearances at golf tourney’s, private fundraisers, fishing tournaments. The hockey season is almost here!!! Yay!!!! Can’t wait. I still have my fully inflated Ottawa Senators thunder-sticks. And now that I have my life-size Mike Fisher cardboard cut-out, I think I’ll place him right on the couch for good luck during the tv broadcasts of Sens games. Go Sens go!

Snakes Not on A Plane!

Have you entered BOB FM’s ‘Top Dog Contest’? In conjunction with the Iams Wiggle Waggle Walkathon for the Humane Society, coming up Sunday Sept 10th at the Arboretum, we are going to crown ‘Ottawa’s Top Dog’!!! Send your entry to this website! Tell us why your dog deserves to be ‘head of the pack’ at the Wiggle Waggle! You could win 4 tickets to ‘Barney’, 2 tickets to the Black Eyed Peas, AND grooming service from the ‘Spaw Mobile Grooming Salon’!
Yours truly will be one of the judges, along with Laureen Harper, yes, ‘that’ Laureen Harper! I will be taking the Top Dog entries to 24 Sussex Drive, where we will pour over them and choose a winner! Laureen Harper has always been a huge Humane Society supporter, and fosters cats and kittens regularly! Gotta love it!

I had a pretty cool experience this week at ‘Little Ray’s Reptiles’ on Bank Street South. It was my first time at Little Ray’s, and I honestly had no idea it was such a huge reptile zoo! Thank you to my friend Karen Genge for the tour….she volunteers at Little Rays and not only helps to clean out the snake tanks and the frog tanks and the turtle tanks, she is also a ‘mom’ to a hognose snake and a carpet python! I’ve always had a love of snakes, which goes back to my childhood. My family had rented a cottage on Mississippi Lake near Carleton Place and when I was a kid, I found a garter snake nest. I put the tiny snakes into a bucket, I think there were about 80 snakes, and took them back to the cottage where my Mom shrieked and told me to keep them outside. That night, it was quite chilly so I felt sorry for the 80 baby garter snakes and brought them into my bedroom. The next morning I awoke to my Mom screaming. There were garter snakes everywhere. Climbing the drapes, slithering on the floor, one ended up somehow in the lettuce in the fridge. But the best visual of all, was the garter snake that sat on the top of the tv, its face dangling down and quite fascinated with ‘The Price is Right’ starring Bob Barker. The moral of this story: I can’t believe that Bob Barker is STILL doing the ‘Price Is Right’!!!

I guess it was bound to happen. The showbiz tabloids struck Bruce Springsteen. Claiming his marriage to Patti Scialfa was over, and that he was dating a 9/11 widow. As soon as I heard the story, I refused to believe it! Bruce Springsteen is my hero!!! He’s honest! He has integrity! He’s one of the good ones! Thank goodness, today, Bruce Springsteen released a statement saying that his marriage is as strong as ever, and that the recent rumours are ugly and untrue. Check out Bruce’s comments for yourself at www.brucespringsteen.net.
Phew!!!

Its that time of year!! How many times have you heard recently: ‘I can’t believe how fast summer went by’!!! Its almost Labour Day and once again, I have a huge list of things I meant to do this summer…but never got around to. I never learned how to wind-surf. I didn’t go to any form of water park. I never had a garage sale. Didn’t get around to buying one of those bug zappers that looks like a tennis racquet. But I did run through the sprinker a couple of times.
And I did name the frog that lives in my garden. He’s my Tony.

Have you been watching ‘Prison Break’? I admit that I had to bail out on ‘24’ last season, because while I know that you have to suspend belief to enjoy the show, I just couldn’t believe the incredible story lines. And now it looks like ‘Prison Break’ is taking a page from ‘24’. I half expect that, just before getting caught by the law, Michael Scofield and friends will be rescued by a flying pteradactyl.

Just when I thought TV can’t get much worse, I just watched ‘Celebrity Duets’, with Xena Warrior Princess singing with Michael Bolton. Right now the C-Pac channel doesn’t seem so bad.

I Must Stop Collecting Collectors Editions

I got the new issue of Entertainment Weekly Magazine, which is one of those ‘collectors’ issues. Its kinda cool, it features six different James Bond covers. I could get into a debate about which Bond is best….I could rate them (in my opinion)…blah blah George Lazenby was the worst, Sean Connery was the best…all the other Bonds are somewhere in the middle….but really, hasn’t this debate raged on for decades? I’m not interested in that debate. What I wanna know, is this: do you KEEP magazines that call themselves ‘collectors issues’? See, I always have. As soon as a magazine calls itself a ‘collectors’ issue’, it goes into a cardboard box in my basement, with all the other ‘collectors’ issues. Like the ‘definitive Seinfeld’ issue of Entertainment Weekly. Or the ‘Artist of the Decade’ (U2) issue of Rolling Stone. Or the collectors edition of People Magazine’s sexiest men alive. Or the collectors edition of The Ottawa Citizen, featuring the complete history of The Rideau Canal. What the heck, may as well save that too. Everything goes into the box in the basement. Why? Hmm. I’m not sure, exactly. Can’t throw them out, they’re collectors issues!
One day I’m going to free myself from those boxes of magazines that call themselves collectors issues. I think I can get by without keeping the collectors edition of Time Magazine’s 1987 Man of the Year.

I’ve never been very good at flying kites, as a matter of fact I gave up kite flying when I was about 9. But while on holidays, my husband bought a kite and it was actually quite nice, sitting on a big old rock in Georgian Bay, watching my husband fly this beautiful kite in the breeze…..and then…kaboom. Nose-dive. The kite smashed right into a rock. Exactly the way all kite flying experiences come to an end. Does a kite ever live to fly another day?

I got a new pair of binoculars. Serious binoculars for bird watching. I didn’t know much about binoculars, but I went to this great store on Merivale Road across from the CTV building, and I figured they knew what they were talking about because they also sell telescopes that are so powerful, you can see a Starbucks on the planet Mars. Anyway, I tried a lot of different pairs of binoculars, but I was absolutely sold on one particular pair. The big selling feature? When I looked through them, I could see the keys in the ignition of my car, through the locked car door.

Thank you so much to one of our fantastic Bob FM listeners, Paula, who delivered a life size cardboard cut-out of Ottawa Senators Mike Fisher to the radio station. He’s in the studio right now but eventually I plan to take him on a couple of outings. Thanks Paula. Let me know how I can return the favour. How about a life size cardboard cut-out of JR?

Help!! I've burnt my eyeballs!! But I can get up

Ouch! Just got back from vacation and I learned something the hard way. You can get a sunburn on your eyeballs. I was on a five mile kayak paddle directly into the sun in Georgian Bay, totally greased up with sunscreen from head to toe. But no sunglasses. Nope. Don’t own a pair. Later that day, it arrived. The sunburn. On my eyeballs. After careful thought, putting calamine lotion directly onto my eyeballs was ruled out. That would more or less be a ‘catch 22’. So, by passing along this story, if I could just save one of you from ever getting a sunburn on your eyeballs, then my suffering has been worth it. For goodness sake, wear sunglasses. Who would’ve thought they serve another purpose besides making you look cool!

My husband and I spent a few days in Quebec City, taking in all the history in the old city, complete with a day-long walk around the Plains of Abraham. I try not to use my holidays to ‘learn’ things, but you can’t help it when you’re in Quebec City. There are statues and memorials and plaques about every 10 feet, each a reminder of the year 1759, when the biggest war on Canadian soil took place…………..and it was all over in about 40 minutes. How Canadian is that.
While we were in Quebec City, there was a huge festival taking place, with hundreds of people walking around in period costume to celebrate New France back in the 1700’s. The women wore long dresses, the men had wigs and frills. The only thing that gave them away was their shoes. I doubt the men in 1700’s New France wore Reeboks.

Go, Steffi D, go Eva!! Canadian Idol is getting down to the wire and as I write this, we have TWO, yes TWO idol finalists from the national capital area!!! Eva is from Gatineau, Steffi is from right here in Ottawa and they are both really strong contenders. It sure would be cool if they ended up as number one and number two for the Canadian Idol final. If that happens, I think they should stage the final competition right in the middle of the MacDonald Cartier Bridge.

As always, Bob FM has your ‘last chance ticket grab’ for the city’s biggest concerts, including tickets for this Friday’s Steve Earle show at the Ottawa Folk Festival. Listen for Steve Earle songs all day Friday and be the 9th caller! I can’t wait for the show. I’m a huge Steve Earle fan. In the late 80’s, one day I decided I wanted to be a songwriter. So I wrote a song. (I think the next day I decided I wanted to be a dolphin trainer, but that’s another story). Anyway, I wrote a song called ‘I Can’t Break Out’. It was about a prisoner. It was one cliché after the other. But I managed to get it into Steve Earle’s hands. I told him that the song was written to sound like a cross between ‘I’m Eighteen’ by Alice Cooper and ‘Wanted Dead or Alive’ by Bon Jovi. All I remember is that Steve Earle was kind enough to sign my song and hand it back to me, without actually reading it. Which, in hindsight, makes this a much happier story.

My ‘Morning After’ partner JR is a huge Philadelphia Eagles fan. His three young daughters know all the words to the ‘Philadelphia Eagles fight song’. When I was in Vegas last year, he asked me to place a bet for him on the Eagles winning the Superbowl. (I don’t think they won) Anyhow, I recently saw a trailer for a movie called ‘Invincible’, which opens on August 25th. The movie is based on the true story of a Philadelphia Eagles fan, Vince Papale. Vince lost his wife and his teaching job. Needless to say, things are not going well for Vince. Then one day he decides to go to an open tryout for the Philadelphia Eagles NFL club. Judging from the trailer, he makes the team. Sheesh. For all the JR’s out there, sounds like the best movie ever made. Maybe for once, men will need Kleenex at the theatre. Or they can just pretend that they have something in their eye.

I’m still mourning the loss of Wiarton Willie, our national groundhog day mascot. He passed away recently, but he did live a good long pampered life. He was one of a kind. And not only because he was white. I’m not sure if Wiarton has found a replacement for Willie yet, but I have a suggestion. I think the Bell beavers, Frank and Gordon, should apply for the job. They’re not groundhogs, they’re beavers, but they are also actors so they could act like groundhogs. Just throwing it out there. I’ve been thinking a lot about this. It takes my mind off my sunburnt eyeballs.

See you in August!

Hey all.....I'm on holi-daze. Back August 14th!

The Why, the What and the 'WHO'!!!

These are the dog days of summer! I don’t know where the term ‘dog days’ comes from, maybe it’s a description of the lazy dog just lying on the porch on a hot summer day……not much else to do….
At my house, dog days of summer means….’drinking out of the toilet’!!!!! Can anyone tell me why my dogs by-pass a perfectly cold fresh bowl of water, to lap it up out of the toilet bowl? Anyone?

The ‘WHO is coming to Ottawa!!! Wow, is that ever cool. It only happens once every 35 years. Of course, some may argue that its not ‘really’ The Who, given that there are only two original surviving members. And some may say that, well, at the age of 60-something, Pete Townshend and Roger Daltrey are past their prime. And some may say that the top ticket price of $204.50 is w-a-a-y too much to pay to see The Who. Oh well. Fair enough. All I know is that I saw The Who once, and it was just a few years ago in Toronto, and it was an absolutely fantastic show. One of the best concerts I’ve ever seen. I still have the ticket stub. I paid a paltry $115 for the ticket back then. Wow….it seems so long ago….remember the days when a concert ticket was just $115…….?

I love Bluesfest this year. I can’t get enough of it. I think they finally got it right, the configuration of the main stage, the bands are great, the beer is cold, everything works. Besides seeing the bigger acts, I highly recommend going to one of the smaller stages and catching some band that you’ve never heard of, but is always a pleasant surprise. I saw the Roadhammers the other night. Who? Exactly. Bluesfest exposes us to stuff we may never other-wise see. But one of the real success stories at this year’s Bluesfest, has to be, the ‘cupsuckers’ everywhere!!! Everywhere you look, there’s a cupsucker. A cupsucker is a long tube that attachs to every garbage can. You finish a beer, walk over to the cupsucker, slide your empty beer cup into it and bob’s your uncle. The recycle people love it, the grass is free of beer cups, and the people at Bluesfest have a new word that they love to say any chance they get. ‘cupsucker’! How fun is that.

My hairdresser is becoming famous. His name is Joseph and he owns Byblos on Bank Street in the Glebe. I called to make an appointment the other day, only to be told that Joseph was on the ‘set’ of a movie. As it turns out, Joseph is doing Tori Spelling’s hair for the next couple of weeks. If its true that people tell their hairdresser everything, I can’t wait to hear the stories. Tori Spelling must have lots of stuff to talk about.

Big Fun at Big Sky!!!

I first went to visit the Big Sky Animal Sanctuary in Kemptville this past spring, and I immediately wanted to be involved in a very special fundraiser, called ‘Woofstock’. Big Sky Animal Sanctuary is home to over 170 unwanted and abused animals, from dogs and cats to horses and donkeys. Please join us this Saturday, for a big ol’ field of fun – a fundraiser for the animals – with hay rides, pony rides, laser show, live bands including Austin Fire and The Bushpilots, crafts, games, dog agility shows, live professional wrestlers, truck pulls, food, prizes, and a raffle to win a pair of tickets to Eric Clapton. All this, and of course a chance to romp with all kinds of animals, including ‘Arnold’ the pig (I think he’s seven feet long!) Woofstock!!! Saturday July 8th, 11 am to 7 pm. For directions, click on the link on this website!

I thought of a joke today. Its not often that I think up a joke. But all jokes have to start somewhere. Ok, now that I’ve covered my butt, here goes. Why is World Cup Soccer just like being at a Star Trek convention?
Because no one ever scores.
(you’re groaning, right? I think I can hear groaning….)

I’ve now watched a few soccer, er, ‘football’ World Cup matches, and I have a better understanding of the game. Wow. It has to be the most emotional sport ever. The players seem to weep openly rather often. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, in fact I find it rather refreshing. I think men should always be in touch with their sensitive side. I think it was Tom Hanks who once said, ‘there’s no crying in baseball’. But there sure is a lot of crying in World Cup soccer.

The 4th of July Coney Island hot dog eating contest results are in. The winner was a 130 pound Japanese fellow who ate 51 hot dogs in 12 minutes. Buns included. How’d you like to be the person who has to drive him home after the contest. I’d make sure he sat in the back seat with all the windows open.

So, the kids are outta school…..and the day camps are starting up! Its incredible how many camps kids have these days. Science camp, horseback camp, tennis camp, wood carving camp, clown camp, X-Box camp, Superhero camp. Ok I made up those last two. There actually is a clown camp. One of our young listeners called in to the radio show last week to tell us that he couldn’t wait for the start of ‘clown camp’. He’s going to learn how to be a clown. Hmm. I wonder if there’s also a ‘mime’ camp. You can bring an imaginary friend but they have to register at the same time that you do.

‘Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest’ opens this weekend and I gotta see it! I absolutely loved the first movie. Johnny Depp has admitted that he modeled his character, captain Jack Sparrow, after both Keith Richards and Pepe le Pew (did I spell that right?) the stinky skunk. The director of Pirates of the Caribbean wanted desperately to nab Keith Richards for the sequel, to play the part of Jack Sparrow’s father. But word is, that Keith couldn’t fit it into his schedule, but HAS promised a cameo for the ‘third’ installment of the Pirates franchise. I’m going to make a prediction: I’ll bet that Keith Richards IS going to be in the 2nd movie opening this Friday, and that right now its Hollywood’s best-kept secret. He’ll appear right at the end of the movie. If I’m wrong, so what. No harm done. I’m used to it.


I’ve seen it once before, but I just saw it again today, and its still amusing. For whatever reason, this sight always makes me chuckle: a ‘Smart Car’, at a red light, with a 24 of beer strapped to the roof. Now that’s Canadian!

Another Snapping Turtle Summer

I’m back from my vacation, which can only be described as a typically Canadian way to spend a week off. Stayed at the cottage, sat on the end of the dock, listened to the loons, took in beautiful sunsets, woke up to raccoons ripping through my garbage, and shook my fist at the jet skis. Aaahhhh….nothing like it.

My mama snapping turtle returned to lay eggs in my lawn once again. Exactly the same spot as last year. How did she know how to find the exact same spot? Last year I watched her lay the eggs, bury them with dirt, then use our stairs to get back to the water. Then I stared at the ground for the next two months hoping to see the baby turtles emerge from the ground. Of course, the one day that I wasn’t watching, they were born and escaped to the lake. This year, I will not spend my summer staring at a patch of dirt. I wish the turtles well, but I have to move on with my life.
Ok maybe I’ll stare at the ground once in a while.

Also while on holiday, I went to Toronto to audition for a new Canadian game show, called ‘Inside the Box’. There were 8 of us scheduled for the 4:15 audition. We were all asked tv trivia questions in rapid-fire fashion, and I did not answer one correctly. All other contestants answered their questions with conviction. I knew some of the answers for other contestants’ questions, but none that were directed at me. Like, ‘name all 3 kids on Home Improvement’. Yikes. Don’t know. ‘What show was a spin-off from Knots Landing’. Yikes. No idea. I got so desperate to answer a question correctly, that I shouted out the answer to someone else’s question. ‘What was the name of the dog on ‘Mad About You’? ‘MURRAY’ I shouted, not caring that it wasn’t my turn. Anyway, lo and behold, all 8 of us were told that we made the cut!!! I guess they didn’t have the heart to tell me that I was the only one being eliminated. Barring unforeseen circumstances, like, they do change their mind about me, I will be heading back to Toronto to shoot an episode of ‘Inside the Box’ for the Tvtropolis network. I hope I get lots of questions about ‘Cheers’ and ‘The Weather Network’.

Canada Day is just a few days away and there’s no better place to celebrate than right here in Ottawa. This year I’m hoping to do the same thing as thousands and thousands of Canadians: walk up and down Wellington Street. I usually try to get a good spot on Parliament Hill, where the big show takes place, but I’m usually too late so I park 20 blocks away then wander up and down Wellington Street with the other wave of people who also arrived too late. Then I buy a bottle of water from a street vendor for six dollars. This year, Colin James is playing the Hill on Canada Day, so it would be a good idea to get there early. And bring your own bottle of water!

Last of the Big Black Dial Phones

I’m looking forward to this weekend, not only for Saturday’s ‘Pressure Washer Trials’ at the Canadian Tire Bells Corners, but also, it’s the return of the Ottawa air show at the Carp Airport! Don’t you just get a chill down your spine (in a good way) when the ‘Snowbirds’ fly overhead? A few years ago, I was lucky enough to go for a spin in a Snowbird. There were 6 of us ‘media types’ who met at the airport….5 men, and me. We had a pre-flight briefing with instruction that highly emphasized ‘how to use the eject button’. The second biggest piece of info was where to find the ‘barf bag’. When I got into the Snowbird with my pilot, I was instantly at ease because the pilot had a great personality and a wicked sense of humour. He asked me what my ‘comfort level’ was, and I asked him to do anything and everything. We spun upside down, sideways, did a couple of nose-dives, it was incredible. And for the grand finale, with a media member tucked into each Snowbird jet, we flew in formation down the Gatineau River. It was so cool to see people running out of their houses and cottages to catch a glimpse of what has to be one of Canada’s finest symbols. When we got back to terra firma, I was so exhilarated I wanted to do it all over again. I heard later that, yes, out of the six of us, 4 members of Ottawa’s astute media community did need to use the little brown bag. For info about this year’s show, check out www.airshowottawa.com

Have you been watching ‘the World Cup’? I have honestly tried to watch the game of soccer. I can’t seem to get past the size of the playing field, it seems to be about a half mile long. I get tired just watching those guys run around like that. I do like the fashions though. The other day, I was at Winners, looking for some shirts for my husband to wear to work. They had these slick Nike soccer shirts, and the official shirt for Brazil caught my eye. From the other side of the store. I think it was made of Lycra and it was such a bright neon color, I’m sure it glowed in the dark. But it was so cool, I thought I’d buy it. Then I spotted a big ceramic garden frog. In the cart it went, followed by a giant bottle of Jim Beam’s barbeque sauce. That’s what I love about Winners. IN my shopping cart, I had a neon soccer shirt, a garden frog and a bottle of barbeque sauce. None of which my husband could wear to work.

Expensive concert ticket season has once again officially kicked in. Last week, I got a pair of tickets for the Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young concert coming to Scotiabank Place July 8th. Price for the pair: $450. Yikes. Can’t wait for the show, mostly because rumour has it that Neil Young will be doing a lot of his solo stuff. I love Neil Young. IF you’re a Neil fan too, you want to pick up the DVD that just came out, called ‘A Prairie Wind’. This is a stunning concert film directed by Jonathon Demme, with footage from two consecutive nights of shows at a tiny Nashville auditorium.
I give it more than two thumbs up. 10 stars out of five.

Congratulations to Chris Labelle of Ottawa, who impressed the Canadian Idol judges to make it to the Toronto round of the audition process. Chris works at Lieutenants Pump on Elgin Street. Next time you go in for a Guinness and some fish and chips, ask Chris to sing you a tune.

Uh oh. 10 digit dialing is here. We need to start including an area code everytime we call someone across the street. There’s a big marketing campaign to get us all used to the idea. TEN DIGIT DIALING!! But, when you think about it, when was the last time you ‘dialed’ a phone number?
I’m the only one I know who actually has a phone that has a dial. It came with our house when we bought it. It hangs in the laundry room. Works great, until I get an automated operator asking me to ‘press one’. I can’t press, I can only dial. Other than my phone, who actually owns a ‘dial’ phone. But they still call it ‘ten digit DIALING’. It does start to make more sense once you consider the alternatives. ‘Ten digit pressing’ or ‘ten digit pounding’ just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

Golfing Gave me Poison Ivy

The Humane Society Golf Tournament is on Thursday, June 15th at Pakenham Highlands, details as always on our ‘pet friendly’ section of this website. I thoroughly enjoy my role each year at this tournament, which is, showing up around 6 pm to give away the prizes. I know that golf is a very popular thing, but I have never figured it out. I did spend one summer desperately trying to play the game. I was part of a foursome once playing at an Ottawa valley golf course, I can’t quite recall the name. I tee’d off and my ball curved left and hit a cow in the butt. The cow was just on the other side of a fence and I clearly saw my golf ball bounce off her back-side. I ran over to see if the cow was ok, and she was munching down on some golf course flowers so I guess she was fine.

Being a novice at the game of golf, I wasn’t aware that there are porta-potties along the course. One time, somewhere between the 11th and 12th hole, I excused myself and disappeared into the bushes. My little washroom in the woods turned out to be a giant patch of poison ivy. I couldn’t sit down for days. A friend told me to put vinegar on my rash. God knows why I believed him. Fyi…NEVER put vinegar on a poison ivy rash. Besides, you end up smelling like a chip truck.

I absolutely love this time of year. Because for a few short weeks, at this time of year, there is actually some ‘light’ in the sky when I drive to work in the morning. Its so cool to head out to work, around 4:20 am, and actually see stuff in my neighbourhood. Like this morning, when I noticed that the guy up the road still has Santa Claus waving from his roof.

One of my favourite shows, ‘The Sopranos’ is over for another season and we have to wait and wait and wait for the next one, which is supposed to be the grand finale for the series. I enjoyed the Sopranos this season, but it did come dangerously close to ‘jumping the shark’. That episode where Christopher mugs actress Lauren Bacall for her ‘awards swag bag’ was a bit over-the-top. And…one more small complaint. The season finale. It had a Christmas setting, everyone sitting around the Christmas tree, gifts, turkey, the whole deal. This is June. Why is the Sopranos having their ‘very special Christmas’ episode in June? Oh well, on to the summer reality shows!!!! When does ‘Dancing with the Stars’ return?

Nice to see that rocker Joan Jett is back on the road!! I saw some reviews of her shows in New York City, and she’s playing better than ever. One of the show highlights? Believe it or not, Joan Jett is playing a searing live version of the theme from the Mary Tyler Moore Show. You know the one…’who can turn the world on with her smile…….’That’s worth the price of admission . I wonder if Joan Jett also throws her hat in the air.

let the games begin

The city is a-buzz. Since receiving word that the International Pressure Washer Games will be held right in here in Ottawa, there has been a lot of activity in laneways, driveways, pathways, on decks and on patios. Pressure washers are being poked, prepped and even pimped in honour of the big day: the Pressure Washer Trials, on Saturday June 17th at the Canadian Tire parking lot in Bells Corners. The motto for the Games: Outwet. Outblast. Outspray. This is your chance to show off your prowess with the pressure washer. Enter on this website. You could win a $750 Canadian Tire gift card, a new pressure washer, and of course, the opportunity to represent the nation’s capital when the world comes to play. Catch phrase of the games: ‘how much PSI you got’?

Keep those pet photos coming! If you click on our pet friendly site on this website, you’ll see photo after photo of beloved pets sent in by listeners. Dogs, cats, there’s a couple of parrots, my frog Tony, and Stewie the hedgehog. I was chatting with Kevin, the owner of Stewie the hedgehog, and I learned that hedgehogs are nocturnal and really like to play all night long. They can go for miles and miles and miles on one hamster wheel in one night. It may be tempting to pet a hedgehog, but its not a good idea. Their backs are covered in sharp pricks. Sheesh. A hedgehog would never know the pleasure of a good massage.


I’ve been walking around these days trying to hide my finger-nails as much as possible. Not only am I a nail biter, I’m also a gardener who refuses to wear gardening gloves. In the shower I do everything I can with a bar of soap, yet my finger tips still look like I just had a mud bath. I once went for a manicure, it was the only time I ever considered a manicure, and the manicurist told me that I didn’t have enough to work with. She wondered if I would like some press-on plastic nails. Not a bad idea. I wonder if they have nails that I can affix with velcro so I can take them off before I stick my hands in the dirt to yank out weeds. They should have those.

We had some fun with our ‘Morning After Spelling Bee’ . Now that spelling bees have hit prime time tv, we thought we’d jump on that band-wagon. We tried to give away fabulous prizes (velour beach towels) for correctly spelling three words, but it was much harder than we anntisipated.

Its asparagus season!! Yay! I love asparagus. I love buying it from our local farmers here in the byward market. But speaking of asparagus, the weirdest thing happened. Right smack dab in the middle of one of my flower beds, are two spears of asparagus growing out of the ground. Using deductive reasoning, I figure that the raccoon that feasted on my garbage last year dragged some leftover asparagus into my flower garden, but couldn’t finish it because he was also dining on chicken bones at the time, so the asparagus went into the ground and sprang up one year later! Thanks to the raccoon, I have fresh local asparagus for dinner tonight.
Ain’t life grand?!

Steve Gregory, Mike Fisher, and a boat

Somehow we just got through what had to be one of the worst May long weekends in the history of man-kind…weather-wise, of course. We had 11 days of rain in a row. Its hard to think positive when its day 11 of steady rain, but here are a few advantages to the soggy weather: no mosquitoes. Mosquitoes like to eat us when the sky is clear. We’ve all saved about ten bucks because we haven’t had to buy a bottle of suntan lotion. And because of the rain, no one has had to paint a fence or a house. That’s it. That’s my list of advantages to 11 days of rain. Yep.

I accidentally discovered something on the weekend that I’d like to pass along to any woman who has trouble getting her husband/boyfriend to cook. On the Food Network, there’s a show called ‘Ready to Grill’. My husband has never seen a show on the Food Network, mostly because, well, its all about cooking. It was actually quite calculated, but I pretended to ‘stumble’ on the show ‘Ready to Grill’ while Rob and I were channel surfing (yep, it was raining outside!) . Well, will wonders never cease. ‘Ready to Grill’ is hosted by this awesome macho guy who grills stuff outside, makes these amazing marinades, always has wine handy, and he has a BACKYARD FRIDGE!!! By the end of the show, my husband had a pad and paper out, and was designing our new backyard kitchen, complete with big kahuna bbq AND backyard fridge!!! So, ladies….its worth a try. See what happens when your husband watches ‘Ready to Grill’. Let me know if it works for you. I wonder if there’s a show called ‘I Want My Wife to Have a Whole New Wardrobe’.

This Saturday night, singer-songwriter (and piano player extraordinaire) Allison Crowe is appearing at a fundraiser for Vision Theatre and Canines With a Cause. (all the info is on this website, just click on the ‘pet friendly’ section) There’s a pre-show reception, followed by Allison Crowe in concert and some great prizes – all for just $20 advance, $25 at the door. You’ll get all the info about the launch of Vision Theatre’s new season, and all funds raised will support Canines with a Cause, a wonderful organization that provides assistance dogs to those in need. I’m happy to MC this wonderful event, this Saturday night at Arts Court, on Daly Avenue!! www.visiontheatre.ca/www.canineswithacause.org

Thank you very much to Bob FM’s very own Steve Gregory, who ran into Ottawa Senators’ very own Mike Fisher at George’s Marine. Not only did Steve send me an ‘audio hello’ from big ‘number 12’ himself, I was just handed a Bayliner boat brochure, signed by none other than Mike Fisher. Not only did I get the incredible joy of having a boat brochure signed by Mike Fisher, I think I’m in love with the Bayliner 175 Runabout with the stereo and extra storage space. Thanks Steve.

I have a frog named Tony

I wore my lucky shirt, and my lucky socks, and I had my lucky rock in my pocket but the Senators were still eliminated. Thank you to the Ottawa Senators for another entertaining year!

Speaking of entertaining, I really enjoyed the INXS show at Scotiabank Place Friday night. I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect. I knew the band would be good, being such seasoned pro’s, but I wasn’t sure if the JD Fortune experiment would actually gel. I thought JD Fortune was quite a captivating front man….despite one rookie error. At one point, J.D. actually pleaded with the women in the front to take off their tops. This went over like a lead balloon. I don’t think today’s INXS audience is filled with women who climb on their boyfriend’s shoulders and lift up their shirts. Maybe they did that 20 years ago. But it was a great show, and JD has an amazing voice. And pretty cool when you think about this: here he is, playing for thousands of people, and approximately one year ago he was living under a bridge with his dog. Don’t you just love stories with happy endings!

I met Sabiha Casey recently, the woman who makes my favourite hot sauces in the whole world. Actually, Sabiha and her husband Paul make them, from their home in Dunrobin. They’re called ‘Cooksville’ hot sauces, and they have amazing flavours like ‘Death Valley Inferno’, and ‘Hawaiian Heat’. Add a few drops to a boring burger and suddenly it’s a party in your mouth and everyone’s invited. Check out the website, www.cooksvillehotsauce.com. Fantastic stuff!!!!

I’ve always been a big Neil Young fan, and my husband and I immediately rush out and buy every CD he ever puts out, including the newest, ‘Living With War’. Wow, is Neil ever steamed. And when Neil is steamed, it translates into some passionate and powerful music. This is a protest album about the war in Iraq and no matter where you stand on this issue…..you sure have to admit…that Neil Young doesn’t ‘beat around the bush’. No pun intended. Some songwriters create sonic imagery and leave the interpretation up to the listener. On Neil’s album, ‘Living With War’, there’s a song called ‘Lets Impeach the President’. Tell us how you really feel, Neil.

I have a pet frog. I don’t keep him in the house of course, he’s just chosen to live in my yard, therefore I now consider him one of my pets. I have one of those oak rainbarrels that’s filled with water with a spout that pours continuously, and a frog has moved in. He sits on the ledge of the barrel watching me in the garden, or sometimes he just swims around in the barrel . His name is Tony. I have lots of pictures of him which I will send to Andy, our Bob FM webmaster, to see if he will post Tony on our pet-friendly site. We love pictures of pets on our pet friendly site, so send those shots in!!! Right now there are lots of dogs and cats, some birds and a hedge-hog. And, coming soon, my frog named Tony.

Flower Power and Screw Caps

Its not everyday that you see a pirate ship. I was driving along the canal yesterday when I spotted it, sailing down the canal in the area of the Pretoria Bridge. I didn’t get a good look at any of the pirates, I guess they were ‘down below’ counting loot or whatever it is pirates do. Anyway, word is that the pirate ship is now docked at Dows Lake. No doubt it chose that spot because its close to the ‘aaaarrrrboretum’.
Thank you, I’m here all week.

I love the Tulip Festival! There’s a lot of stuff tied into the tulip festival….food, entertainment…artwork…all that’s great but my favourite thing about the Tulip Festival is….the tulips!! I’m a flower-a-holic and I love being around flowers. So, with the return of the Tulip Festival, comes one of my favourite hobbies: seeing how many tourist photos I can get into. I don’t do it on purpose, but just before someone snaps a photo of his or her family in front of a big beautiful tulip bed, I seem to have a knack for choosing that exact second to wander around in the background. Thank goodness for digital photography, because I think if people ‘crop’ their photos they can cut me out.

The Tulip Festival, Ottawa Senators play-offs, wow!!! What a great time to be an Ottawan. I’m sure our good mayor Bob Chiarelli is somewhat relieved that the Senators eliminated the Tampa Bay Lightning. On the ‘morning after’ on BOB FM, Mayor Chiarelli publicly announced, that should the Senators lose the series to Tampa Bay, he would sit atop one of those “Le Bifteque’ bulls on Pinecrest Road, wearing only a speedo and some chaps. Wonder what he’ll agree to for the Buffalo series?! Would the good mayor sit atop a stack of buffalo wings wearing only a speedo and some chaps?

I still have a huge vole problem. Not only have voles destroyed my lawn, they are now into my flower gardens!!! I finally discovered that help is just a phone call away. ‘The Ottawa Carleton Master Gardeners Hot-Line’ will have the answers I’m looking for. Problem is, the Ottawa Carleton Master Gardeners only answer their phone between 1 pm and 3 pm on Wednesdays. I think about calling the Master Gardeners all the time. Sometimes at 9 am, or noon, or 5. I need to talk to a master gardener. But I just never think about it between 1 and 3 pm on Wednesdays. Why can’t they answer the phone between 9 and noon on Mondays? Or between 3 and 6 on Tuesdays? Why do I have to be a slave to their schedule? The Ottawa Carleton Master Gardeners. Don’t even think about calling them unless its between 1 and 3 on a Wednesday. Oh, and, don’t try leaving a message because they won’t let you. This I know as a fact. But if I could leave a message, I would tell the Ottawa Carleton Master Gardeners to call me back between 2 and 2:15 on the last Friday of the month. That would show them.
How long does a previously opened bottle of red wine last? I opened a bottle two weeks ago and just had one small glass. I don’t know much about red wine, except that I should stop keeping it in the fridge. I must admit, I’m still not crazy about the fact that even really really good wine-makers are now using screw caps instead of corks. I understand its because there is a shortage of cork around the world. But, when you know nothing about wine, like I do, the only way I was ever able to determine whether or not a wine was decent, was by one simple factor: a cap meant it was cheap wine, a cork meant it was a better wine. Now how am I supposed to know the difference, if all wines start using screw caps? Can’t they plant more cork trees? Actually, here’s an idea: you know those wedgie shoes that were in style in the 70’s, and now they’re back in style, and they make you 6 feet tall, because your wedgie shoes are made of 6 inches of cork? How about we all toss our wedgie cork shoes together so we can have enough cork so that people who don’t know anything about wine can still determine whether or not a wine is any good because it has a cork?! Someone should run with this idea. I can help whenever I can, but not between 1 and 3 on Wednesdays.

The Easy Startler

I saw my first toad of the season. While I was on my hands and knees cleaning out my garden, he hopped about an inch from my face. I screamed so loudly that I couldn’t speak for an hour. I am not afraid of toads or frogs or any critters for that matter, but I do tend to startle easily.
As a matter of fact, if the Seinfeld show was still on, I would probably write to the show and ask that they create a character called ‘the easily startled woman’. You know the type, constantly jumping or shrieking at the smallest thing. That’s me. I do that. I probably let out a gasp or a shriek or a scream at least three or four times a week. I could be in an office with 4 or 5 other people, everyone chatting, etc., and I happen to be doing something on the computer, and someone taps me on the shoulder and I let out a blood curdling scream. When my poor husband comes home from work, the first thing he is likely to hear is my startled shriek. The other day he proudly told me that he now had a Senators flag affixed to the window of his car. The next morning, when I went to get into my car and drive to work, I mis-took my husband’s Senators flag for a man. A man, who, for whatever reason, at 4:30 in the morning, was affixed to my husband’s car window. I think my scream woke up everyone within a two mile radius. I have no idea why I’m like this. I’m not really afraid of anything, just easily startled. Oh, wait a minute. I am afraid of clowns. But that’s about it.

Now that I get the Animal Planet TV channel, once I get past all the human-shows-that-maybe-have-an-animal-in-them, what I love the best are all the animal programs filmed in Africa. I am now utterly determined to one day go on an African safari. It must be absolutely amazing seeing lions and elephants and zebras in the wild! If you’re reading this and you went on an African safari , please let me know how it was, and if you would recommend the place you went. I have been doing a bit of research and so far all I’ve found are African safari tours that are about $1000 U.S. a night. Is that what they all cost? Sheeeshh!!! Its probably not a good idea to do a ‘discount’ African safari, but maybe something in the middle? I guess a cheap African safari would involve sightings of grassland poodles.

My American Idol prediction: Elliott is going to win. I thought Elliott had the best voice of anyone on the show right from the start, but I admit that I was a bit hesitant about him. The reason being, the judges all seem to emphasize the ‘whole package’. The looks , the personality, the ‘it’ factor, as well as the singing voice. At first I wasn’t sure that Elliott had all that, but now I really think he is going to win. Besides, why would I care what the American Idol judges are saying. Everyone on that set is so busy arguing with each other, American Idol has become like a night at the Bickersons.

Go Sens Go!!!! Didn’t you get quite a chuckle out of the family that was chastised for ringing their cowbells at one of the Sens-Lightning play-off games at Scotiabank Place? They were actually told by a security guard to stop clanging their bells. They were making too much noise!! Ha! The Senators organization did the right thing, and when they were apprised of the situation, they gave the cowbell-toting family some free tickets to the next game. I would love to take my big iron dinner triangle to the next game…you know the ones….ranchers use them to call people in for dinner! Don’t think there’s anything louder than one of those. I don’t know if they still sell them, but I bought my big iron dinner triangle at Lee Valley Tools. Just an idea for the next home game.

My Dog Loves Watching 'Deal or No Deal'!

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes had their baby. A girl. Now I can get on with my life.
Actually, no….I can’t move completely on…. Brad and Angelina have yet to bring their child into the world. In order to get away from the paparazzi, Brangelina has holed up in a remote African resort, where they will have their baby. The couple chose this spot so they will be protected by lions, cheetahs, elephants, charging rhinos, and angry ground squirrels. I guess they don’t have an alarm system back home.

Every time I tell someone that my dog Hudson loves to watch tv, I usually get a strange look. But since this is in writing, I will just have to envision the strange look from anyone reading this. Unless, of course, your dog watches tv too. Then you know what its like to be on the receiving end of a strange glare. My dog Hudson especially likes any tv shows that feature Shania Twain. But lately, Hudson has really become quite fond of ‘Deal Or No Deal’. We enjoy sitting together on the couch watching this game show, and when the studio audience shouts ‘NO DEAL!! NO DEAL!!, Hudson’s ears always really perk up for some reason. The only thing I can figure, is that Hudson thinks these people are shouting ‘NO HEEL’!! NO HEEL!!! Which, of course, is a dog’s dream come true.

Unless it pours rain this weekend, I plan to make a visit to the ‘Big Sky Animal Sanctuary’ near Kemptville. Owner Andy Parent takes in unwanted animals and currently has over 170 in his care, from dogs to horses and goats. I’ve mentioned this before, but its worth repeating, its never too early to write something down on your calendar. July 8th, Big Sky Animal Sanctuary, the first ever ‘WOOFSTOCK”, hosted by yours truly. This is going to be a huge ‘Woodstock’’ themed fundraiser out on the farm and a great day for the whole family. Wear your hippie clothes , and join ‘Grateful Dog’, ‘Joe Cocker Spaniel’…’Jefferson Airedale’…and any other hippie themes we can think of. We have a link to the Big Sky Animal Sanctuary on this website’s ‘pet friendly’ section. And of course, anything you can donate to the cause would be fantastic.

At this time of year, I feel so lucky to be working in the Byward Market. Having our radio station right in the midst of all the action is great year-round, but right now, the street vendors are coming back and I can’t resist buying their stuff. It seems that each day, by time I get back to my car, I have bags stuffed with apples, green peppers, bananas, lettuce, berries, I buy it all. Something about buying fruits and vegetables from the street. Then, I bring it all home, put it in the fridge, and completely forget its there. And, a week later, I throw it all out. Aaahhh… I just love the street vendors!

Moths ate my Rolling Stones Shirt

Its about that time of year, when students are looking for summer jobs. I came across a story the other day called ‘First Jobs of the Rich and Famous’. Did you know that Bill Murray used to sell chestnuts outside a grocery store? Robin Williams was a street mime (not too hard to believe), Jerry Seinfeld sold light bulbs over the phone….Madonna worked behind the counter at Dunkin’ Donuts….Jennifer Aniston was a waitress…Demi Moore worked at a debt collection agency…and David Lee Roth emptied bedpans as a hospital orderly. So, there you go! Good luck with that summer job, and remember, David Lee Roth emptied bedpans.

I’m still needing some help with my vole problem. Once the snow melted off my front lawn, I was quite surprised to find little ‘hills of dirt’ scattered everywhere. If you can picture little brown ski hills about six to eight inches high, that’s what I have all over my lawn. I did some research and it looks like I have an entire vole network under my lawn, but I don’t know how to get rid of them. Naturally I don’t want the voles to be hurt in any way. I just want them to find somewhere else to built their transit system. Maybe if I blast Michael Bolton’s new CD across the yard, that’ll do it.

I wish Manhatten was only a short drive away! Because I would definitely get down there this week, for the Elton John clothing sale! Elton John has set up shop at Rockefeller Centre and he’s selling 10,000 pieces of his own clothing to raise money for his Aids Foundation. There’s everything from bright orange blazers to Adidas track suits and ball caps, prices are anywhere from $10.00 to $10,000! I think it would be super cool to walk around in a lime green sweater with matching boa that once belonged to Elton John.

Crocuses? Croci? Which one is correct? Those little purple flowers that are coming up right now. It seems I get into this debate every year at this time. What’s the plural of crocus? Usually, before I get the right answer, the crocuses, or croci, are gone.

Bob’s ‘Deal or No Deal’ has started, with the chance for someone to win $10,000 each morning on Bob FM. I can’t believe how nervous I get when we play this game, not only because there’s big money on the line, but you never know how far someone is willing to go. On the tv show, Deal or No Deal, the audience is always shouting ‘NO DEAL”! Of course they’re going to shout “NO DEAL”, they have nothing to lose! On our radio version, the contestant has to decide for themselves whether they want to accept the banker’s deal or chance it all for $10,000. Anyone can play, but you have to register first on this website. Its crazy fun, but I have to warn you, a really good anti-perspirant is very much required.

In the department of ‘things that make you shake your head’… About a month ago, I bought a 50 pound bag of sunflower seed for my birdfeeder. When I opened the bag, a bunch of small moths flew out into my living room, my bedroom, some landed on the bathroom mirror, others headed for the tv room in the basement. I recognized these moths as clothes-eating moths. So, here we are, a month later, and the moths seem to have finally disappeared. The other day, I was going to a party and I thought I’d wear my favourite shirt. A green shirt that I was given to wear by the wardrobe lady at last summer’s Rolling Stones video shoot (another story altogether). I pulled it out of the closet and ….’lo and behold’….now I knew what happened to all those moths!! They had gorged themselves on my Rolling Stones shirt. I checked every other piece of clothing I own, and nothing. No holes, no damage. The moths had just eaten one shirt. My favourite shirt. How did they know?! Why couldn’t the moths have eaten my shiny pink shirt with the big lapel?

I Will Get Fooled Again

I let out a ‘GASP’ unlike any gasp I’ve ever released before!! Why the gargantuan ‘gasp’?! I was checking my favourite Bruce Springsteen website, www.backstreets.com, for no reason in particular, when I saw the headline on the website: Its Bruce Springsteen week on American Idol! There was a photo of Bruce arm-in-arm with Paula Abdul, next to a smiling Randy and Simon….and another photo of Bruce playing guitar next to Idol finalist Chris Daughtry. Horrified, I continued reading the story….. Bruce Springsteen songs would be featured on this Wednesday’s ‘American Idol’, and there was a list of which Bruce songs the contestants would sing. My heart was in my throat!!! How could The Boss do this? Why would he do it!!!! He doesn’t need to do it!!! Uuughhhh…. Not since the Rolling Stones premiered their video for ‘Streets of Love’ on a daytime soap opera have I been so incensed at ‘marketing gone wrong’. Bruce Springsteen week on American Idol. It was enough to make me bawl like a baby. But then I saw the date on the top of the story. April 1st, 2006. April Fools Day. Sheesh. Fished in by my own fan site! Nice to know I can turn beet red even when I’m the only one home.

Speaking of April Fools Day, check out the website www.museumofhoaxes.com. They list the top 100 April Fools jokes of all time. Some of my favourites include ‘Smell-o-vision’, when the BBC tv network convinced tv viewers that new technology meant you could actually smell what you were watching on tv. There was also Burger King’s ‘left-handed Whopper’ commercial, causing left-handed people to rush to the fast food restaurant for a burger especially for them. And of course, what April Fools Day should pass without some mention of ‘killer bees’. They should arrive here any day now.

I love the month of April, the change of seasons, all that stuff, but wow….is it ever muddy at my place! I keep a Swiffer right by the door because every time my three dogs return from the yard, I have 12 paws dipped in mud, which translates into about 120 mud prints on my floor. Yes, I know I can ask all my dogs to ‘sit’ and ‘stay’ on the welcome mat, then I can take a rag and wipe all of their paws before they enter the house. The problem is, my dogs have no training in them whatsoever. I prefer to let them learn things on their own. For example, my dog Hudson has learned that if he pulls back the bedspread on the spare room bed, its much more comfortable to sleep under the covers. He taught himself that one.

Thank you to Luc Lemay, owner of John’s Street Sweepers, for giving JR the dream experience of a lifetime. A ride in a street sweeper. It really is all about the simple things in life, isn’t it?

I plan to get my bike out of the shed this week. It’s a tough bike, I know that because I have ridden it straight into a wooden fence at full speed, and its also survived a summersault into a roadway ditch. I can really see why helmets are now mandatory.

Which came first - the Muskoka Chair or the Adirondack Chair?

What a furr-tastic success! Ok, furr-tastic is not a word and I promise you will never see it here again. But, the Humane Society Fur Ball was a night to remember and best of all - $70,000 was raised for the animals!!! A sincere thank you to everyone involved, (if I had a tail, it would be wagging right now) and to all who attended and helped to raise much-needed funds for the Humane Society emergency services program. Thank you to Jefferson Sukhoo, ‘designers on Dalhousie’, for dressing me for the evening.

We better not get one of those weird spring snowfalls. All my patio furniture is out. Dining table, lawn chairs, Adirondack chairs…oooops, I mean ‘muskoka’ chairs. Who invented these chairs? The Adirondack people or the Muskoka people? One has clearly stolen from the other.. but WHO? These are things I like to ponder. I even have a muskoka/Adirondack chair that reclines like a Lazy-Boy chair. Hope it doesn’t snow.

The new line-up of teachers has been announced for the upcoming ‘Rock and Roll Fantasy Camp’. This summer, it takes place in August in New York City. If you’ve always wanted to be a rock star, check out the website www.rockandrollfantasycamp.com ! For the reasonable price of $8500 U.S., meals included, you will learn how to ROCK!!!! Teachers include: Jon Anderson from ‘Yes’, Levon Helm from ‘The Band’, George Thorogood, Dee Snider from ‘Twisted Sister’ and Max Weinberg from ‘the E Street Band’! And, if you want to bring your spouse, that only costs an extra $500. Wow! I’d love to go to this camp just to make s’mores around the campfire with Dee Snider.

When my husband and I decided to get digital satellite tv, I wanted it for one reason only. To get the channel ‘Animal Planet’. So far on Animal Planet, it seems that there are just three shows. ‘Crocodile Hunter’, which is not about animals, its about a man who has lost his mind. Then there’s ‘Animal Cops’, which is just like the show ‘Cops’, except this time they are arresting people who have animals. And the other show is about meerkats.
At least the show about meerkats is an animal show. Its just that, after having ‘Animal Planet’ for two weeks now, I know enough about meerkats. I would like to move on to some other animal now. Even a show about ants would be fine.

If you and your dog have some spare time on Sunday, April 9th, come on out to the K-9 Spring Fling! It takes place from 10 to 4 pm at ‘Forever Friends Dog Training School’, for details check www.nccpd.org.
Crafts, dog treats, get your dog’s photo taken for just $5.00, all proceeds to support dog rescue in Ottawa!

Speaking of dogs, its time to stock up on this year’s supply of ‘Skunk Off’! It gets rid of the stink right away! Vets sell the stuff in the bottle, and keeping it on hand is a whole lot better than dealing with your freshly-skunk-sprayed dog at 3 in the morning. 5 out of 5 dog owners agree…’Skunk Off is the best product ever invented!!! Dogs don’t seem to mind the smell, though. Then again, dogs love rolling in cow poo.

Blues Lady to the Rescue!!! (www.blueslady.com)

‘The Morning After’ on BOB FM welcomed Ottawa’s blues lady, Maria Hawkins, to give some much-needed singing tips to anyone planning to attend the Canadian Idol auditions, this weekend at St Laurent Centre. As a public service, we repeat them here:

1. Drink 6 – 8 glasses of water a day
2. Get plenty of sleep. Fatigue lowers your voice
3. Avoid yelling or screaming or talking, laughing, or singing louder than is necessary
4. DO NOT WHISPER, especially when you have a sore throat, this increases muscular tension and dries out vocal chords
5. eliminate habitual throat clearing and excessive coughing
6. DON”T SMOKE!
7. try to reduce your caffeine/alcohol intake
8. use an easy and gentle approach to voice production
9. have your hearing checked
10. when you have laryngitis or a sore throat, give your voice a rest. Take time to let your voice recover!

These suggestions all come from one of Ottawa’s best singers, blues lady Maria Hawkins!!! Maria says that ANYONE can learn to sing, anyone! Although, she did say that ‘before’ she tried to teach JR and me how to sing the lovely duet ‘You Don’t Bring Me Flowers’.

Please help!!! Maria Hawkins is currently teaching the kids at Manor Park Public School to sing… and right now, there is a serious shortage for this school’s breakfast program. Manor Park Public School desperately needs donations of breakfast foods, cereals, cereal bars, etc, and of course cash donations to support the breakfast program are certainly welcome too. Please drop donations off at Manor Park Public School, 100 Braemar St, which is in the St Laurent/Hemlock area. The phone number for the school is 746-8131!! Thank you so much!

Can't Get Enough of those Beer Nuts

The Home and Garden show is on this weekend at Lansdowne Park. I love going to this show, for 2 reasons. I get tons of ideas that inevitably lead to hard labour for my husband. And the second reason I love the Home and Garden Show is: the beer nuts. The aroma of the beer nuts fills the air as you descend the stairs of the Civic Centre, and before you know it, your hand is deep into a bag of warm sticky nuts, which then means that you can’t touch any of the exhibits. But its worth it. At the home and garden show last year, I learned a very important tip to make my gardening easier. Buy the biggest wheel barrow you can find. Even if it looks ridiculously huge, buy it anyway. With a monster wheel barrow, you can haul everything you need in one trip. Rocks, soil, the dog, plants, hose, shovels, fence, plywood, cordless tools, drink cooler, your bike helmet, Miracle Gro, lawn furniture, tomato cages, it all goes into one wheel barrow. And you can push all that quite easily if your lawn is fairly level. Just watch out if you’re going downhill, a fully packed giant wheel barrow can sometimes get away on you when you’re going downhill. Defeats the whole purpose.


As we await the birth of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin’s second child, mostly just because we want to know what the heck they’re going to name this kid, with the first one getting the moniker ‘Apple’, this week, we learn that Donald Trump and his wife Melania have named their newborn son ‘Barron’. They’ve built the wealth right into the kid’s name. Why didn’t they just call him ‘Richie Rich’? ‘Barron Trump’ Wow. Quite a name. When I was a kid, a popular name for a rich kid was ‘Millhouse’. Somehow doesn’t fit anymore, ever since the Simpsons.

My husband and I finally got satellite tv. I think we get over 400 channels now. So far, this is what I’ve been watching over and over. The Price is Right, with Bob Barker in ‘high definition’, ‘Animal Cops’, and the educational show on the Discovery Channel, ‘How Its Made’. Last week, we learned how baseboard heaters are manufactured. When Bruce Springsteen sang about ’57 Channels and Nothing On’, maybe we shoulda believed him.

Good luck to everyone who is auditioning for Canadian Idol this weekend in Ottawa. It must be pretty nerve-wracking. I think this show has been on long enough, that the judges are probably hearing the same songs over and over again at the auditions. I think that a contestant would really stand out if they did a song that was a bit of an oddity, a bit of a surprise. I wonder if anyone has the courage to enter the Canadian Idol audition process with a rousing rendition of: ‘Love Removal Machine’ by the Cult.
Or the theme from the Mary Tyler Moore Show.

Go Sens go!! As we near the play-offs, the excitement is reaching a feverish pitch. I gotta get some of those Senators car flags that you clamp onto your car window. Then just hope it stays cold outside. Because as soon as you open the car window, there goes the flag. On a good day, with a play-off game taking place at Scotiabank Place, there are easily 20 to 30 Sens flags on the Queensway. Its tempting to nab a couple of these flags, but probably not a great idea during rush hour traffic. Funny. I haven’t seen many Leafs flags around this year.

No Thanks, I'll Roll Up my Own Rim

Its day 77 since I got an ipod for Christmas. I’ve downloaded 2483 songs onto my Ipod. But still haven’t used it. Although, its good to know, if a robber came by and stole my entire CD collection, I’d
still have all my favorite songs tucked safely onto my IPOD. This is definitely one of the reasons to love an Ipod. The other reason, I suppose, is actually ‘using’ it.

Its Irish week! Of course, on St Pattys Day, everyone is Irish. I’m half Irish and half French Canadian, so on St Pattys Day I usually have some green beer and a big plate of poutine. On this Friday’s morning show, we hope to connect with Brian Connelly, who is a radio announcer with a radio show from Dublin. He’ll be joining us by phone to give us the full scoop of St Pattys celebrations straight from Dublin Ireland! Problem is, our interview time is 12:45 pm Dublin time. The pubs will have been open for quite some time by then!!!! Make sure you tune in for some authentic Irish fun at 7:45 am Ottawa time.

Can you believe the controversy over that huge Tim Horton ‘Roll Up to Win’ story? In case you hadn’t heard, in a small town outside of Montreal a 10 year old girl found an empty Tim Horton’s coffee cup in the garbage. When her little fingers were too tiny to ‘roll up the rim’, she asked her 12 year old friend for help. Sure enough, the 12 year old peels back the rim and ‘booom’, it’s a winning coffee cup!!!! The Prize: A Toyota RAV 4 SUV!!!! Here we are, over a week later, and a) the 10 year old’s parents think she should get the truck b) the 12 year old’s parents think that she should be the sole winner of the truck and c) the custodian who threw the coffee cup in the garbage in the first place, has hired a lawyer, and is demanding DNA samples be taken from the cup to prove that it ‘was’ his in the first place, and that HE should be the winner of the truck. So far, Tim Horton’s Donuts has remained silent on the issue. Probably a good idea. I’m sure its just a matter of time before we hear that the school bully is also demanding the truck.

It may only be the month of March, but it won’t be long before our schedules start to fill up quickly for the summer, especially on the weekends. If you’re an animal lover, circle the date ‘July 8th’ 2006 on your calendar. The whole family is invited to a good old fashioned country fair at the Big Sky Ranch Animal
Sanctuary, just outside of Kemptville. Big Sky is a safe haven for unwanted and abused animals. Right now there are 171 animals living here, from horses and donkeys to cats and dogs. Owner Andy Parent and his volunteers do their best to rehabiliate these animals and find them homes, but many are here to live out their days in a comfortable, peaceful setting. Donations are desperately needed! For more info, click on the ‘pet friendly’ section of BOB FM’s website and you’ll find a link to the Big Sky Ranch! And don’t forget to book July 8th, for tons of fun, entertainment, animals and prizes at Big Sky! Bob FM will be there, hope to see you!!!

Better Roll Up Your Own Rim

Its day 77 since I got an ipod for Christmas. I’ve downloaded 2483 songs onto my Ipod. But still haven’t used it. Although, its good to know, if a robber came by and stole my entire CD collection, I’d
still have all my favorite songs tucked safely onto my IPOD. This is definitely one of the reasons to love an Ipod. The other reason, I suppose, is actually ‘using’ it.

Its Irish week! Of course, on St Pattys Day, everyone is Irish. I’m half Irish and half French Canadian, so on St Pattys Day I usually have some green beer and a big plate of poutine. On this Friday’s morning show, we hope to connect with Brian Connelly, who is a radio announcer with a radio show from Dublin. He’ll be joining us by phone to give us the full scoop of St Pattys celebrations straight from Dublin Ireland! Problem is, our interview time is 12:45 pm Dublin time. The pubs will have been open for quite some time by then!!!! Make sure you tune in for some authentic Irish fun at 7:45 am Ottawa time.

Can you believe the controversy over that huge Tim Horton ‘Roll Up to Win’ story? In case you hadn’t heard, in a small town outside of Montreal a 10 year old girl found an empty Tim Horton’s coffee cup in the garbage. When her little fingers were too tiny to ‘roll up the rim’, she asked her 12 year old friend for help. Sure enough, the 12 year old peels back the rim and ‘booom’, it’s a winning coffee cup!!!! The Prize: A Toyota RAV 4 SUV!!!! Here we are, over a week later, and a) the 10 year old’s parents think she should get the truck b) the 12 year old’s parents think that she should be the sole winner of the truck and c) the custodian who threw the coffee cup in the garbage in the first place, has hired a lawyer, and is demanding DNA samples be taken from the cup to prove that it ‘was’ his in the first place, and that HE should be the winner of the truck. So far, Tim Horton’s Donuts has remained silent on the issue. Probably a good idea. I’m sure its just a matter of time before we hear that the school bully is also demanding the truck.

It may only be the month of March, but it won’t be long before our schedules start to fill up quickly for the summer, especially on the weekends. If you’re an animal lover, circle the date ‘July 8th’ 2006 on your calendar. The whole family is invited to a good old fashioned country fair at the Big Sky Ranch Animal
Sanctuary, just outside of Kemptville. Big Sky is a safe haven for unwanted and abused animals. Right now there are 171 animals living here, from horses and donkeys to cats and dogs. Owner Andy Parent and his volunteers do their best to rehabiliate these animals and find them homes, but many are here to live out their days in a comfortable, peaceful setting. Donations are desperately needed! For more info, click on the ‘pet friendly’ section of BOB FM’s website and you’ll find a link to the Big Sky Ranch! And don’t forget to book July 8th, for tons of fun, entertainment, animals and prizes at Big Sky! Bob FM will be there, hope to see you!!!

Fashion takes my breath away

Looks like I’ll have to put away my black lipstick and my black nail polish and my white face powder, and save it for another time. The Nine Inch Nails concert has been post-poned. Apparently lead singer Trent Reznor isn’t feeling well, word is its nothing serious, touch of the flu, but he needs some time off to get better. Sources said that Trent Reznor was looking quite pale.

Had a great day of skiing at Edelweiss! I found myself sharing a run with a skiing raccoon. Actually, the raccoon was snow-boarding. Every time I go skiing, I’m inspired by the young children, 4 and 5 years old, that ski circles around me. They don’t know it, but they always encourage me to become as fearless as they are. This time, I was given a shot of courage by a snow-boarding raccoon. If that raccoon could fly down those steep runs, so could I! But of course, I fell flat on my back. The last thing I saw was the raccoon’s striped tail disappearing down the hill. Just as well. The last thing I needed was a raccoon helping me back on my feet. I prefer help from my usual good skiing buddies, the four and five year olds.

A rather embarrassing thing happened to me the other day. James Jefferson and Frank Sukhoo are two fabulous local fashion designers, who have a design boutique called Jefferson Sukhoo on Dalhousie Street. James and Frank kindly offered to loan me a dress for the upcoming Humane Society Fur Ball. They chose a gorgeous black gown for me, and away I went into the change room to try it on. At first I tried to ‘step into’ the gown, but that didn’t work. Too tight. So then I tried to pull the gown over my head. That’s when it happened. I got completely stuck. My arms were pointed straight up into the air, the gown was bunched up around my head and shoulders, my jeans were crumpled down at my ankles and I couldn’t move. Not only was I afraid I might rip the dress, I was having trouble breathing. I wondered if I should allow myself to asphyxiate instead of going through the embarrassment of having to call out for help. With James and Frank busily chatting with customers in the boutique, I lost track of time, feeling like Houdini wrapped in an impossible straight-jacket, the difference being, Houdini made a living as an escape artist, and I, well, I am a radio announcer. Finally, a call from beyond. ‘Sandy’? Is everything ok in there’? ‘I’mmmmmm sssshhhtuck in the dr-e-e-ssss and I caannn’t (gasp!) breathe!
James asked permission to help me. ‘YEESSSS’! I was saved!!! Being the designer of the dress, he knew exactly how the zipper worked – how the sleeves worked – it was incredible!!! With my arms shot straight up, my head swathed in gown, my jeans at my ankles, James freed me from my elegant prison! Ok, maybe I’ve been watching too many spy movies lately. But at least the dress didn’t get ripped. And I am alive to tell the story. Best part of all, James and Frank are gonna make me something that I can put on all by myself!!! p.s. if you have any stories of a similar nature to share, please write to me. I’m sure this happens to people a lot………doesn’t it?

Frank and Gordon rock!!!!!

I can’t get enough of Frank and Gordon. I love them. The Bell Canada beavers are brilliant. I want to meet them, have them over for dinner. I think they eat wood. And sandwiches. I have friends that are tiring of Frank and Gordon. Not me. I just hope they don’t get too big for their britches. But for now, I love seeing them on tv all day. Especially since I got satellite tv, and I have 43 CBC channels. Frank and Gordon appear a lot! Check out www.frankandgordon.ca, for your beaver fix, just in case you’re at work and you can’t watch tv.

How’s this for irony. Since my alarm goes off at 3:30 every morning for my early shift, I tend to have a nap every afternoon. I don’t shut my phone ringer off, because I would probably never remember to turn it back on again. But luckily my friends and family know, I sleep in the afternoon so they don’t call me and wake me up. Oh yeah, finally, here’s the ironic part. The other day, the phone rang in the middle of the afternoon and woke me up. After trying to get back to sleep, but to no avail, I retrieved the message. It was from the ‘sleep disorder’ clinic. They were calling to tell Norm Dupuis that he had an appointment at the sleep disorder clinic at 9 am on June 11th. If anyone knows a Norm Dupuis, please pass that along to him. And I thank the sleep disorder clinic for waking me up.

As we wrap up a fabulous winter Olympics in Torino, all eyes turn to Whistler in 2010. Does anyone know anyone who knows anyone who has a room for rent in Whistler…..say….sometime around February….in the year 2010? If you’ve been to Whistler, you know what an incredibly vibrant and fun place it is. Now that Whistler has been chosen to host the world at the next winter Olympics, just how hard is it going to be to get a hotel room? Hmm….. its hard enough RIGHT NOW! Anyone who lives in Whistler can probably get $5000 a night for their fold-out couch during the Olympics. I had to laugh about a contest that ‘SKI’ magazine had, looking for Whistler’s biggest ski bum. The winner was a guy from Ontario, who went to Whistler to ski everyday for an entire winter, but had no money left for anything else. So he lived in the stairwell of the Marriott Hotel beside the ski hill. He had a sleeping bag, change of underwear, some ski magazines. Lived there all winter long. Skied at Whistler every day. This dude had his priorities!

The premiere of my acting debut is coming up Monday, March 20th. I play the part of a woman who gets her purse stolen in a Crimestoppers video. It will be on the CTV news at 6. Unless of course, I end up on the cutting room floor.

I still haven’t used the Ipod I got for Christmas. My Ipod holds 7500 songs. So far my husband has downloaded only about 850 songs on it. So its kinda pointless to use it, with just 850 songs.

Have you seen the movie ‘Eight Below’? As soon as I heard about the movie, starring 8 huskies in a struggle to survive alone in the Antarctic, I went to see the first showing at 10:40 am. I was by myself. I sobbed uncontrollably at the end of the movie. But so did the other woman and the other man who were there. ‘Eight Below’ is a great movie. And if you go to the theatre early in the morning, no one sees you cry.