hey you get off my video

The Stones have left the building. And the Byward Market. And the city of Ottawa. Phew! Good thing. I don’t think I could have another night with 2 hours’ sleep. On Sunday night, 43,000 people were treated to more than a concert, more than a night out. It was one of those rare, beautiful experiences. The world’s biggest rock and roll band came to our town and blew our doors wide open. For first-timers, it was a chance to see a bit of rock history. For those who have seen the Stones in the past, it was all the more special, with Mick and the boys finally being on our turf. What a show! I just couldn’t get enough. Which leads into why I did what I did the very next day after the concert.

Ottawa is a really big small town. Word about something juicy going on travels pretty quickly, so at 10 am on Monday morning, I found myself standing outside night-club Zaphod Beeblebrox in the market, the rumoured location of a Rolling Stones video shoot. At this point there was a couple of pigeons, two tractor trailers, and my friend Ann Marie McQueen, a reporter with the Ottawa Sun, who had heard the same rumour. I was armed with a tape recorder to interview the throngs of fans that would be there to capture a glimpse of the Stones. After waiting a while, no one came. So I interviewed Ann Marie McQueen instead.
Hours later, I returned to nab a spot with friends at the pub beside Zaphod’s, on the outdoor patio. That’s when things really started to happen. Trailer after trailer arrived, the street was completely closed off, production crews were barking orders all day and beautiful people started streaming into restricted areas, signed up as ‘extras’ for the Stones video shoot. I found an adjoining patio between the pub and Zaphod’s, and lo and behold, the ‘extra’s’ were all hanging out, waiting patiently to be called in to take their place inside the bar, waiting patiently to be part of something so cool, wow, a Stones video. That’s when it hit me. I decided to act like an extra. Sure, I didn’t look like one of them. These were hip rocksters in super funky clothes, clothes chosen just for them by a wardrobe lady that kept disappearing into a giant wardrobe trailer. I was wearing hiking boots, jeans, and a giant grey sweatshirt. I spoke to no one, afraid to blow my cover. Every once in a while, from my spot on the ‘extra’s patio’, I would hear a big roar from the ever-expanding crowd lining the sidewalks. Ronnie Wood had just arrived and disappeared into a trailer. Another roar. It was Keith! Then Charlie. Then Mick. Incognito amidst the extra’s, I waited patiently as they were called in to the bar, to take their place in the video shoot, one by one. Of course I had never given anyone my name, I didn’t fit the physical ‘look’ that these people had been hired for, and I wasn’t quite sure how to handle that moment when I would be the only one left, with absolutely no explanation of what I was doing there, no paperwork filled out, nothing. I was fully prepared to be busted and return to my friends outside on the pub patio. That’s when something incredible happened. The wardrobe lady came into the ‘extra’s’ holding tank and asked me if I had something else to wear. I said no. Then she handed me the hippest green shirt, and told me to change, fast. The last round of extra’s were summoned to the video set, and I was one of them. I was now inside the club, doing my best to blend in, tucking myself into the crowd on the dance floor. I kept praying the director wouldn’t notice the one woman in the middle who just didn’t project hipness. A couple of moments later, the Stones entered Zaphods, climbed on the stage, and the fantasy began. The band kicked into their single, ‘Streets of Love’, and our job was to act like a bunch of bar patrons doing what they do, grooving to the band. I was in so much shock over what I was seeing, Mick and the boys a mere ten feet away on a tiny stage, and I tried to pump my fist to the song but my entire body froze. Eventually I did pump my fist, and swayed with both arms in the air, showing off my prop drink, sharing a laugh with Ronnie Wood. Cameras rolled, production people shouted, beautiful people were put in strategic positions, regular people like me maintained the important role of padding out the bar. I wasn’t trying to get into the video, I just wanted to see the Stones play in a tiny bar. It was an experience I will never ever forget. Watch for the video ‘Streets of Love’ coming soon to Much Music. I wonder if my fist ended up on the cutting room floor.

The Stars Just Keep Coming

Wow! What a week this has been! My birthday is actually in February, but I moved it to August 22nd. So, for a birthday gift, JR and Morning After producer ‘Hammer’ got me the most amazing gift. A personal phone call from my favourite guy on the Weather Network, Chris St. Clair! He’s the guy on the Weather Network on Saturdays and Sundays. I find myself mesmerized by his knowledge of weather. Chris St Clair was kind enough to call me on the air on Tuesday morning, and offered me the chance to be the head of the Chris St Clair Fan Club, which, at this point, does not yet exist. What a great birthday!

Definitely planning to take in the Ottawa Air Show this weekend at the Carp Airport. For info, go to www.airshowottawa.com. I’m going for a flight in a vintage plane, I think it’s a B-25. Oddly enough, I have no fear of climbing into any kind of plane, no matter how small or how old or how loud it is. However, I am deathly afraid of clowns.

The ‘back to school’ feeling is everywhere now. Not having any kids, I do miss out on some of the fun this time of year. If it is fun. I’m not even sure. I know that when I was a kid it meant the end of a lot of the things I did all summer long, and just before the first day of school I had to release all of my frogs. One of the things I do enjoy about the back to school time, is that I can go into any drug store and they have these big product packs filled with shampoo and toothpaste and pens and stuff for 5 bucks. I pretend I’m buying it for my kids.

Rolling Stones in Ottawa. Biggest show ever. If you live in the Glebe, let me know if you’re willing to share your driveway. Yeah, like I’m the first one to mention that! I’m so charged up about this show because the Stones are without a doubt one of the best live acts in the history of music. I wasn’t going to spoil the surprise by checking out this tour’s set list, but I did anyway. ‘Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doooo doo doo Heartbreaker’ is on the set list!!! That’s my favourite Stones song. Hope they play yours, too.
See you there!

Hey, if you’re a fan of ‘Rock Star INXS’, don’t miss this Tuesday’s ‘Morning After’ show on BOB. JR and I are going to be chatting with the one and only ‘J.D’. He’s Canadian, eh! He’s agreed to join us on the air to talk about all the ‘behind the scenes’ stuff from the show, as he continues his drive to be the new lead singer for INXS. I say he’s definitely in the running, along with Mig. One thing you can say for sure about J.D, he’s been the most colorful character on the show. Should be a great interview! Don’t miss it!

See the Stones from the Ferris Wheel

Hard to believe that the Rolling Stones will be here in a few days! Wonder if they spent any time here the last time they played Ottawa, in 1965. In 1975, Ronnie Wood played the Civic Centre with Rod Stewart and the Faces. A friend of mine, Dave, was at that show, at the age of 13 it was his first concert. Dave was near the front of the stage and getting a bit crushed by fans, and Ronnie Wood actually grabbed him and plunked him onto the side of the stage to watch the rest of the show. Every few songs, Ronnie went over to check on Dave to make sure he was having a good time. What a guy. Speaking of Ronnie Wood, not only is he in town this weekend, his art is coming too. The Ronnie Wood Art Exhibition is on at the Congress Centre this Thursday to Sunday. Ronnie’s art is mostly portraits of the Stones, and the prices for signed lithographs range from $1500 to $10,000. You can check out some of his work at www.klimart.com. Will the man himself appear at his own exhibition? Let me know if you spot him.

If you don’t have tickets to the Rolling Stones, of course you can always win a free pair by being the 9th caller through when you hear the ‘Stones Lick of the Day’ on BOB FM. Or, you can try this: I did some research at the Ex the other day. I went on both the ferris wheel and the Cannon Ball ride. From both of these rides, you have a pretty good vantage point to see the Rolling Stones on stage. At least for a few seconds. Unless you tip ride operator and he stops the ride for you while at the top. Then you may get to see the Stones do an entire song.

The social event of the year returns this Sunday, with a bit of a twist. For years, NAC executive chef Kurt Waldele and his lovely wife Dr. Suzanne Beachemin have hosted the ‘Humane Society Garden Party’ at their Cumberland home. This year, its being billed as the ‘Urban Garden Party’ and its taking place on the terrace of the NAC. It all starts with a cocktail reception, a sumptuous 4-course luncheon, fine wine and entertainment. The Humane Society Urban Garden Party starts at noon so there’s no conflict with the Stones show. I just have to figure out what outfit will suit both an elegant garden party and a kick ass rock and roll show. Could be a bit of a challenge. Tickets for the garden party are still available but hurry because it always sells out. Check the Humane Society’s website, www.ottawahumane.ca.

Sweating Over Beads

There’s a bit of a battle going on here in town, and it all revolves around some strings of beads. Renegades owner Lonnie Gleiberman thought it would be fun to do a Mardi-gras style ‘gimme your beads’ promotion in the upper deck, with the woman begging/borrowing/stealing the most beads from nearby men winning $1000. Word is that some women are even doffing their tops!! Oh no! The Renegades ‘Mardi gras’ promotion is getting ‘exposure’ all over the country, to the point that the producers of ‘Girls Gone Wild’ were actually in the stands with their video cameras at the last game. This whole thing isn’t sitting well with City Councellor Jan Harder, who has referred to Lonnie Gleiberman as an ‘immature twit’. She wants the plug pulled on all this tom-foolery immediately. JR from ‘the morning after’ on BOB FM came up with a great idea: why don’t the Renegades set up a ‘no holds barred cage match’, center field, half time, Gleiberman versus Harder, one big mat and gallons of Mazola oil. This would garner much more attention than Mardi gras night.


Nothing like people watching on the patio during a late summer evening in the Byward market. Lately I’ve noticed streams of people following someone in a big black hooded cape with a lantern, winding through the market. I’ve learned that this is the ‘Haunted Walk of Ottawa’. People are guided around at night to see things that are scary in the market. Hmmm. Wonder if they stop at the Dominion Tavern.

The Ex is back! I love the Ex, but I have a hard time finding someone to go on rides with me. Last year I went to the Ex as soon as the doors opened, by myself. I went on the Himalaya, the Pirate Ship, the Scrambler, and the Gravitron. All by myself. Then I went on the double ferris wheel. By that time, crowds had developed and they couldn’t afford to let me take up a seat all by myself. Some kid had won a giant Spongebob Squarepants and he started to cry because he wanted it to go on the ferris wheel with him, but there wasn’t room in his seat for him and his Dad and the giant Spongebob Squarepants, so the ride operator compromised and put the giant Spongebob next to me. Needless to say, the ferris wheel stopped or got stuck or something and I was sky high, just me and Spongebob. At least he didn’t throw up on me.

I received an ‘out of the blue’ gift this summer from a friend of mine, Janet Podleski , who puts out those fabulous Looneyspoons cookbooks with her sister Greta. (their newest book ‘Eat Shrink and Be Merry’ is out soon) . Janet bought a book for me, called ‘Pack of Two’ by Caroline Knapp. Janet loves dogs as much as I do, and she wanted me to read this book. I thanked her profusely, then drove home thinking ‘uh oh’…. I haven’t read a book in two years. I started to read ‘Seabiscuit’ in January 2003 and I’m still not finished. Anyway, if a friend goes out and buys you a book, you have to read it, you have no choice, its all you think about, you’re sitting there eating chips and dip or listening to the radio and you see the book on the coffee table and it still has the new book smell. Well, I read it. Cover to cover. Took me two days on the dock at the cottage and one day in the car on the way home from New Brunswick. If you love dogs, read ‘Pack of Two’. This book is about the incredible bond we share with our dogs. Its beautifully written and it may make you cry, especially if you’re the type of person who hugs your dog a hundred times a day. Thanks for making me read a book, Janet! Maybe I should start a Book Club. The ‘One Book Every Two Years’ Club.
Let me know if you’d like to join.

Thumbs up to Greekfest!

Sandy’s Blog


Somehow, on ‘the Morning After’ morning show, we got on the topic of soft drinks and other drinks that you just never see around anymore. JR mentioned ‘Tahiti Treat’, which I had never heard of, and I mentioned ‘Beep’, a weird orange drink we used to get as a kid, which JR had never heard of. Now we’re on a mission to find out if ‘Tab’ still exists. Tab had the unfortunate timing of being a diet drink ‘before’ they invented aspartame. I remember it tasting like tree bark. Does anyone know if Tab is still around? In my quest to find some of these drinks, I stumbled upon a whole new drink at Shafali Indian takeout restaurant in the market. Shafali has a big cooler full of the usual pop drinks, but they also carry ‘Thums Up’. Comes in a bottle that looks exactly like a Coke bottle, the drink looks like Coke, then on the label it actually says this is a Coca-Cola product. Its made only in India. On the ‘Thums Up’ bottle is a drawing of a thumb pointing up, like it’s hitchhiking. I’m not about to tell the folks at Coca-Cola that there’s usually a ‘b’ at the end of the word ‘thum’. Anyway, I think I’m now going to start a soft drink collection. So far, I have a bottle of ‘Thums Up’, and a can of Diet Pepsi.

If you’ve ever left a banana on the back seat of your car, you know the trouble that can cause when the temperature is 40 degrees with the humidex. Enough said.

Despite all the criticism of the show ‘Rock Star INXS’, I must say, I love watching it. I agree that it’s a questionable way to replace the late great INXS front-man Michael Hutchence. But I’m absolutely glued to the tv when this show comes on. My choice to win this whole thing is Marty. But the two remaining Canadians, J.D and Suzie have really provided the most entertaining moments. I just hope Van Halen doesn’t start a reality show looking for a new singer. Its highly probable that David Lee Roth would apply for the job.
Uh oh.

The Greek Festival is back!! If you’ve never been, you really have to get a group together and head down to the Hellenic Centre on Prince of Wales. The fun continues til August 21st and the admission is free. Watch for the Zorba dance every night. If they grab you and bring you up on stage, they may give you ‘ouzo’, and you may not make it to work the next day. Just to let you know. Opa!

My bike: friend or nemesary?

Back from holidays, I feel like a kid talking about ‘what I did on my summer vacation’. Spent time at the cottage, went to Mont Tremblant, then back at the cottage, then one night in Quebec City, then onto Woodstock New Brunswick, then Maine, then New Hampshire, then back at the cottage, then off to Lake Huron, then I got a new bike. That’s about it. The thing about getting a bike, is that it sits there reminding you that you should go for a bike ride. On my first bike ride, I chose a lovely uphill dirt road. So I walked my bike up the hill. Therefore I didn’t actually ‘ride’ my bike, but we both had a lovely uphill walk. It was quite bonding, actually. Probably didn’t need my helmet.

Have you ever used a word regularly for your entire life, only to discover one day that it isn’t actually a word? The word, is ‘nemesary’. I’ve used it often. I’ve used it in conversation over dinner with my husband, I’ve used it on Saturday nights playing board games with friends, I’ve used to fairly regularly on the air in the morning show. Turns out, ‘nemesary’ is not a word. I was questioned about it recently and checked in the dictionary. It ain’t there. Anyhow, I don’t give up easily and I think ‘nemesary’ deserves to be a real word. ‘Nemesary’, in my definition, is ‘a thorn in your side, as in, your worst competitor ever’…ie…The Ottawa Senators once again had to get past their nemesary, the Toronto Maple Leafs’. I have now officially entered my word for editors’ consideration on the website, www.urbandictionary.com. It apparently takes 21 days for their people to decide whether or not ‘nemesary’ will be accepted as a word. I will keep you posted. In the meantime, let me know if you’ve ever made up a word. Something that can be printed here.

We’re all counting down the days til the big Rolling Stones concert here in Ottawa. While the Stones continue to rehearse in Toronto, I have some friends in T.O who are desperately hoping to catch the Stones in a small club venue, as they always put on a couple of surprise shows before they head out on a big tour. No one knows when or where Mick and Keith and the boys will show up for an impromptu gig. As someone who has never had the thrill of some huge artist jumping up on stage in a small establishment that I happen to be patronizing, I would love to hear stories from anyone who has. The closest I ever came was one night, years ago, standing on Bank Street trying to decide whether or not to go into Barrymores. My friends and I went to Wendy’s instead. Bob Seger showed up and rocked the place til 3 am. Sigh. So close, and yet so far. Fill me in if you have a story!

I'm on holiday!

Hi. I mean, bye. I'm away on holiday doing research into family reunions in Woodstock New Brunswick. Back August 8th. I won't forget to write.

Are you hot? I'm hot

How are you dealing with the heat? JR from the ‘Morning After’ on BOB FM visits his local beer store and just stays in the cooler room. At my place we don’t have air conditioning, just a couple of fans. One way for me to beat the heat is to skip dinner and just have a giant bowl of ice cream. Not sure if it cools me down, but who cares.

A listener called us from upper New York State to tell us that she’d been whitewater rafting with Bruce Springsteen last week. She didn’t have tickets to the show in Ottawa because she was too shy to ask him at the time. They were rafting down the Hudson River in the Adirondack Mountain area. She wanted BOB FM to give her some Springsteen tickets, and she promised a secret about Bruce in return. Hmmm. She had to win the tickets fair and square, we couldn’t just give them to her, so we never did find out that secret about the Boss. Oh well. All I could picture was Bruce Springsteen in a wetsuit.

If you have goldfish or your kids have goldfish, maybe you can explain this one. I have a goldfish that looks like he’s no longer living, about every 2nd day. One day he’s belly up, not moving, game over, then the next day he’s swimming around like crazy. This has been going on since January. I have spent about $200 on various medications for this 19 cent fish, and he still pretends he’s expired on Sundays, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. If he’s doing this just for attention, not a bad idea. Here I am writing about him.

Many thanks go out to a wonderful BOB FM listener, Val. Val has offered me a horse. I can’t take the horse right now, as my yard is not big enough, but I sure appreciate the offer.

Looks like they’re going to have to bring in more porta-potties at Bluesfest. The beer sales are soaring this year and the line-ups for johnny-on-the-spot are crazy. People are dancing more in the loo line than they are watching the live bands. I’m ok with porta-potties as long as there’s still some light in the sky. As soon as the porta-potty is under the dark of night, and I can’t see what lies in wait, thats when things get sticky. Sorry about that.

Stayin' Cool and Porta Blues

Sandy’s Blog
July 13, 2005

How are you dealing with the heat? JR from the ‘Morning After’ on BOB FM visits his local beer store and just stays in the cooler room. At my place we don’t have air conditioning, just a couple of fans. One way for me to beat the heat is to skip dinner and just have a giant bowl of ice cream. Not sure if it cools me down, but who cares.

A listener called us from upper New York State to tell us that she’d been whitewater rafting with Bruce Springsteen last week. She didn’t have tickets to the show in Ottawa because she was too shy to ask him at the time. They were rafting down the Hudson River in the Adirondack Mountain area. She wanted BOB FM to give her some Springsteen tickets, and she promised a secret about Bruce in return. Hmmm. She had to win the tickets fair and square, we couldn’t just give them to her, so we never did find out that secret about the Boss. Oh well. All I could picture was Bruce Springsteen in a wetsuit.

If you have goldfish or your kids have goldfish, maybe you can explain this one. I have a goldfish that looks like he’s no longer living, about every 2nd day. One day he’s belly up, not moving, game over, then the next day he’s swimming around like crazy. This has been going on since January. I have spent about $200 on various medications for this 19 cent fish, and he still pretends he’s expired on Sundays, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. If he’s doing this just for attention, not a bad idea. Here I am writing about him.

Many thanks go out to a wonderful BOB FM listener, Val. Val has offered me a horse. I can’t take the horse right now, as my yard is not big enough, but I sure appreciate the offer.

Looks like they’re going to have to bring in more porta-potties at Bluesfest. The beer sales are soaring this year and the line-ups for johnny-on-the-spot are crazy. People are dancing more in the loo line than they are watching the live bands. I’m ok with porta-potties as long as there’s still some light in the sky. As soon as the porta-potty is under the dark of night, and I can’t see what lies in wait, thats when things get sticky. Sorry about that.

Tough to Stay Outta the Trees

Sandy’s Blog
July 7, 2005


It looks like Ottawa Senators hockey is returning to the Nation’s Capital! Did you miss it? I know I did. While CBC TV made a valiant attempt to entertain us every Saturday night with movies like ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark’ introduced by Ron McLean, it just wasn’t the same. This past year I missed going to the games. I even missed Spartacat and his Master Blaster. Nothing like enjoying a turkey sub that just travelled seventy feet through the air. Welcome back, Wade Redden, Mike Fisher, and Alfie. And welcome, Domenic Hasek. Its a heck of a lot better having you on our side. This fall I will look forward to being part of the west-bound Queensway convoy to the Corel Centre, making that long frigid walk through the parking lot, buying $11.00 beers, running into everyone I know on the Corel Centre concourse, and, oh yeah, watching a great hockey game. Even the Leafs fans will not bug me this year. Well, maybe not that last one.

This week I spent an entire afternoon in the trees. Thank you to the Suderman brothers, owners of Camp Fortune, for an incredible experience at ‘Aerial Adventure’. The best way to describe ‘Aerial Adventure’, is to call it an obstacle course way high up in the trees. You are strapped into a harness and you are 100 percent safe, a concept you sometimes forget when you are straddling suspension bridges, diving off tree-top platforms, swinging on giant ropes and, in my case, dangling helplessly on occasion. The staff is always there to help you if you get caught in a ‘predicament’, as I did at the snowboarding section. My excitement at the thought of snowboarding from tree-top to tree-top turned into a fairly embarrassing moment, the snowboard sailed to the tree without me, leaving me dangling like a pair of underwear on a clothes-line. Camp Fortune’s ‘Aerial Experience’ ranges from exhilarating to scary to hysterical to funny, and I can’t wait to do it again. For info, check out www.campfortune.com. Do it with your spouse and you will trust them forever.

For about a month, I’ve been playing a little game with gas stations. When the gas is up around 95 cents, I just get a little bit of gas, thinking it will be much lower the next day. The next day, its around 96 cents. So I do the same thing. I have been in denial, driving around on fumes, waiting and praying for the gas to come down. This concept I also apply to my gas lawn mower and my 9.9 hp outboard boat motor. Maybe thats why my lawn is only half cut and I can only go for a two minute boat ride. But I’m sure one of these days, the gas will return to 59 cents a litre. It will happen, I’m sure of it. This gas stuff reminds me of a boyfriend I had a long time ago, who used to charge me the gas money to pick me up for a date. Our dates always started with me handing him two bucks for gas. If I was still with him, each date would probably run me about thirty bucks. Then again, if I was still with this guy, I’d have a lot greater problems than paying for gas! Sheesh

Live 8 Was Great

The statistics are out, and they’re impressive. One in three households in Canada watched the Live 8 concerts this past Saturday, some 10.8 million Canadians. The viewership peaked when Neil Young took the stage in Barrie and belted out ‘Keep on Rockin’ in the Free World’, with a little help from the Tragically Hip, Gordon Lightfoot, Bruce Cockburn and Blue Rodeo among others. It was a Canadian music lover’s dream. But more importantly, Live 8 raised the world’s awareness of the devastating poverty that continues to haunt Africa. As the leaders of the 8 richest nations gather at the G-8 Summit in Scotland, it is hoped that they got the message the world was sending. Ours is the generation that must help these people. Please log onto www.makepovertyhistory.ca and add your support. The effects of Live 8 will continue long after these concerts, but in the meantime, you can also go to www.live8live.com and download the day’s opener, ‘Sgt Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band’ with Bono and Paul MacCartney, as well as the big Hyde Park finale with our favourite Beatle leading Elton John, Eric Clapton, Sting and others in a very emotionally charged ‘The Long and Winding Road’. Proceeds to these downloads go directly to helping the poor in Africa. Well done, Sir Bob Geldof.

Did you hear the one about Bruce Springsteen playing an impromptu gig at the Iceland Airport? On his way home from his European tour, (so he can rest up for his next gig, which is right here in Ottawa on July 13th!!) Bruce’s plane had to stop and re-fuel in Iceland. He pulled out his acoustic guitar and played six songs for airport workers. Sure beat watching the in-flight movie, ‘Fat Albert’.

Speaking of Bruce, make sure you join JR and me right here at the radio station for the ‘Bruce Springsteen Ticket Swap’, at 8 this Sunday morning. Come to BOB FM’s parking lot on York armed with the most creative, inventive, sentimental and/or valuable thing you own. Then swap it for a pair of 100 level Bruce Springsteen tickets. Your item will be judged by a non-biased panel, and if you don’t get chosen for the swap, you can still enter our draw for a pair of beautiful Boss seats. I sure hope someone shows up with a pony.

Its Bluesfest week and that means another round of ‘chair sitters’ vs ‘standers’ the concert. May the person with the biggest voice win. Or the biggest lawn chair.

Show Us Your Stuff!

June 29, 2005


Thank you to the Certified General Accountants of Ottawa for inviting me to MC the golf tournament for Big Sisters/Big Brothers of Ottawa, although the request for me to tell ‘accountant jokes’ at the dinner is a bit of a challenge. I am not one to remember jokes, but I did check on the internet and lo and behold, there are thousands of accountant jokes! But my personal favourite: why was the accountant so excited that it was Saturday? Because he gets to wear casual clothes to work! Now you can see why I don’t tell jokes.

Friday morning, Glass Tiger lead singer Alan Frew is joining us in the studio on ‘the Morning After Show’ on Bob FM. He’ll not only treat us to some stories about appearing on the hit NBC show, ‘Hit Me Baby One More Time’, he’s also coming with food! Alan’s wife Marcy has created a new line of salad dressings, appropriately called ‘Marcy’s’ dressings. He’s bringing a cooler full for us to try. We’re not used to delicious, healthy food in morning radio. Usually I’m surrounded by people eating microwaved pizza pops or hot dogs at 6 in the morning.

Saturday is ‘Live 8’ day. I for one hope it rains on Saturday, so I don’t feel so guilty watching TV indoors on a beautiful sunny day. JR and I were wondering if the CTV coverage is being hosted by Ben Mulroney. Uh oh. Anyhow, it should be an awesome day, with Live 8 being beamed all over the world, some 1.2 billion people expected. The day of entertainment does send out an important message, so check out the website www.makepovertyhistory.ca to get all the background info you need. And wear your white wrist-band!

Thanks to BOB FM listeners for their concern about my snapping turtle nest. A female laid 24 eggs in my lawn last week, then buried them. To keep the eggs safe from marauding skunks or raccoons, I was told to get my husband to ‘pee’ on the turtle egg nest. I must admit its one of the stranger things I’ve requested of my husband. The eggs are supposed to hatch on September 3rd. So far, none of my friends has stepped in to offer to host a turtle shower for me.

If you don’t have Bruce Springsteen tickets, mark it on your calendar: Sunday morning, July 10th. JR and I will be out in the parking lot of the radio station, here at 87 George Street in the market. Decide what you’d be willing to trade for Springsteen tickets. It could be anything. Signed Springsteen memorabilia, a bike, a high definition TV, your concert ticket stub collection, a lawn mower, wedding gifts you’ve never used, your lava lamp collection, a pressure washer, whatever. You simply exchange your stuff for our tickets. The more creative, the better! This is one of those contests I wish I could enter myself.

Happy Canada Day! See you on Parliament Hill. I’ll be the one wearing red and

Chair people versus Standing People

June 24, 2005


The count-down is on! Just a few days before the kids are outta school! Not having any kids, I miss out on the ultimate glee that kids feel at this time of year. I remember the last day of school, and I’m not sure if this holds true today, but somehow I always had the kind of teacher who gave us a test on the very last morning before we were finally let out for the summer. I spent the whole time starting out the class window. The first thing I did when I finally got out of school was catch a big jar of bees or frogs. Somehow they always escaped. Growing up on Alta Vista Drive, I’m pretty sure we had the only backyard that was filled with frogs the entire summer. Never went to camp but my two brothers, Paul and Bob did. When my brother Paul was at camp he mailed a letter back to my parents that said, ‘hi. We’re ok, food is ok. Bob threw up. Love, Paul’.

Its cottage squatter time, too. This is JR’s term for people who don’t have a cottage but show up unexpected at other people’s cottages each weekend with 6 hot dogs and a 6 pack of Wildcat beer. Then, come Sunday night, they leave with their 6-pack of Wildcat.

I was driving down the Queensway the other day behind a Harley that had one of those side-cars. In the side car was a dog. Ears flapping, lips flapping, he looked pretty cool. He even seemed to be snickering at the dog next to him in the front seat of a mini van. Don’t know where you buy a motorcycle helmet for a dog, but this dog had one.

It wouldn’t be an Ottawa summer without the return of the great debate. People who attend summer music festivals are once again divided into two groups: those who stand and those who bring lawn chairs. I usually get to a music festival early and stand. Its not long before someone in a lawn chair is shouting at me to get out of the way. Where do you stand, er, or sit, on this issue? I suggest that people who bring chairs don’t want to stand because its hard on their legs. So, here’s my solution: festival organizers rig up rows and rows of ‘Jolly Jumpers’. You know those contraptions that are hooked up to doorways, there’s a seat and you plunk your infant into it. The kid is in a standing position, but he’s not using any leg muscles to stand. So the people who go to Bluesfest can leave their chairs at home, climb into a jolly jumper, and everyone’s happy. What do you think?

Summer in the City!

Happy summer! Its finally officially here. Its time to kick back and relax and enjoy the time of year we wait for ....for months and months and months. I’m pretty happy about the fact that I just finished a major landscaping project which meant that I was picking up hundreds of rocks from the side of the road. I was never really sure if this was legal. Who owns the rocks on the side of the road? Best not to ask, I guess. Its a bit of a ‘grey area’. So, whenever I found a road-side stash of nice looking boulders, as soon as I heard a car coming, I hid behind a tree. You can never be too careful. I’d hate to be apprehended for stealing somebody else’s rocks.

A report just came out identifying Ottawa as the least expensive North American city in which to live. I heard about this report a day after coming back from a weekend in Toronto, which is one of the most expensive cities. While in Toronto, four of us were charged a five dollar cover just to get into a restaurant. Sheesh! But nothing tops Belize City, where not only do you have to pay to use a public washroom, you have to pay extra for toilet paper. A dollar a square. No wonder everyone stayed away from the refried beans.

While in Toronto, my husband and I stumbled right into a Hillary Duff video that was being filmed off King Street. No one in Toronto seemed to care that this was going on. Thats one of the differences between Toronto and Ottawa. A few years back, Yasmine Bleeth was in Ottawa to film a movie. She was on the front page of the Ottawa Sun every day she was here. Crowds tailed here everywhere she went. She complained. She even cried. I wonder what Yasmine Bleeth is doing these days. Maybe she should come back to Ottawa!

Thanks to BOB FM’s very own Milky for his fast fingers. Milky had the magic touch when it came time to buy Bruce Springsteen tickets on line. My streak of getting shut out of concert tickets from internet sales continues, but Milky somehow got through on the website and got me a pair. Problem is, he still has my credit card number. If an Ottawa Renegades beer fridge ends up on my Visa bill, I’ll know why. p.s. if you didn’t get Springsteen tickets, not to worry, we are giving them away here on 939 BOB FM!

Bruce the Boss and Bruce the Shark

Your reaction to the announcement that Live 8 is playing TORONTO, not OTTAWA, on July 2nd may have been the same as mine. Oh sure, once again, Toronto gets everything. But then I thought about it for a minute. And, as difficult as this is for me, I have put my ‘Toronto-gets-everything’ angst aside for this. The Live 8 concert needs to be in Canada. Somewhere in Canada. May as well hold it in a city that knows how to handle 150,000 people. The message is too important, and if you want specifics, check the makepovertyhistory.ca website. We need to make a big splash to send a message about finally doing something for the impoverished people in the world.

And now onto something frivolous. Its mosquito season. Stopped in at my favourite Giant Tiger store the other day and saw the funniest weapon yet in the war against mosquitoes. Its a hand held mosquito zapper that takes batteries and is shaped exactly like a tennis racquet. You simply sit out on your deck and swing away at the bugs, and the mesh of the racquet takes their lights right out. It looks like you’re playing a game of solo tennis when in fact you’re ridding your environment of mosquitoes. I suspect in the hands of Venus or Serena Williams, this thing is deadly.

Do you have your plan of attack yet for Bruce Springsteen tickets? 10 o’clock Monday, here we go again. This time there are two websites you can buy tickets from, www.capitaltickets.ca (a personal disaster for me), or you can try your luck at the House of Blues website, www.hob.ca. Then of course there’s always the option of standing in line at the Cataraqui Town Centre Sports Experts in Kingston.

This Monday on the morning show, we will be celebrating the 30th anniversary of the movie ‘Jaws’. Courtesy of the good folks at CD Warehouse, we have tons of copies of the new Jaws Anniversary dvd to give away. Time to bone up on your Jaws trivia! Seems fitting that we’re having a ‘Jaws’ themed show on the day Bruce Springsteen tickets go on sale, because the shark in the movie was named Bruce. Bit of a stretch, I know. Good luck on Monday!!!

Orange grooms and orange popsicles

Thank you to the people who have written to me about their ‘spray-on tan’ stories. Most have a common theme, someone needs a tan fast for some occasion, like a wedding. I especially enjoyed Mike’s story. On the night before his wedding, he sprayed himself up and down and sideways to look good for wedding day. Didn’t bother to read the instructions on the fake tan bottle. Now he has a photo on his mantle that he will always cherish. The wedding party surrounded by orange day lilies. And Mike’s skin is exactly the same color. A nice orange.

On the morning show, somehow we got on the topic of Dickie Dee ice cream vendors. Isn’t this one of the hardest jobs in the world? You have to peddle fudgicles around on the hottest days of the summer, often times up hill all the way, and all you want to do is eat the profits. Our producer Matt Hamer tried it for one day as a summer job then parked the thing in his garage. He ate so many popsicles, he owed the company money at the end of the day.

With summer here, I’m trying my best to eat healthy, especially a lot of fish. The other day I went to a fish vendor. The clerk was super friendly, we talked about the weather, reality television, what its like working around a deep fish smell all day, stuff like that. Finally I said I wanted to try something different, so the fish vendor suggested sea bass. So I said sure, I’ll have two sea bass fillets. When I got to the cash, the total for two sea bass fillets was $38. My jaw dropped. I wanted to put the fish back but I thought I was in too deep. The moral of the story is, if you chat up a fish vendor, then you find out its $38 for two fillets, its your own fault, and you have to keep the fish. If you make no personal connection whatsoever with a fish vendor, you are not committed to keeping the fish. Just an observation you may find useful some day.

I’m no music critic, but I sure love the new Oasis album, ‘Don’t Believe the Truth’. I’m off to Toronto this weekend to see Oasis, and I can’t wait because these guys are amazing in concert. There are a lot of comparisons to the Beatles music, so its kinda ironic that Ringo Starr’s son Zak Starkey is playing drums for Oasis. The last time I saw Oasis at Molson Park, my buddy was working backstage and tried to stop Liam Gallagher from driving madly around the area in a golf cart. The incident ended with Liam driving the golf cart right into a wall. How’s that for rock and roll.

It is my pleasure to MC an upcoming golf tournament for the Canada-Africa Community Health Alliance. This is an organization that delivers much-needed medical supplies to Africa’s poor, and they need your help. Call up your golfing buddies and book off Wednesday June 22nd. Its a full day of golf, an awesome dinner and prizes, at the Kingsway Golf and Country Club just a short drive away in Aylmer. Golf and dinner just $95, dinner only is $40. Call the Kingsway for more info, 827-1855. Hope to see you, I’ll be the one passing out the prizes. Tough job but someone’s gotta do it! It’ll be a great time.

The Boss is back!!!

June 8, 2005


The boss is coming back!!!!! Yay!!! Bruce Springsteen is bringing his acoustic tour to the Corel Centre this July 13th, and ‘tramps like us’ are ecstatic. Not only ‘cause we get to see him this summer, but we don’t have to drive for 8 hours to catch the show! How many times have you seen Bruce? (26 or 27 for me!) Do you have any Bruce stories you want to share? I will very gladly pass ‘em along or yak about them on the morning show. Yahoo!!! I’ve met Bruce Springsteen twice, actually shared a hot tub with him for about an hour in a hotel in Toronto. This was one of the top moments of my life. Well, that and winning a frozen turkey at a church bingo when I was seven. And of course, keep your radio on BOB FM, as we will definitely be giving away tickets!!

I’m learning how to play the guitar. My husband plays guitar, so he gave me a lesson the other night. Things were going OK with the G and the C chord, until the song I was learning required an F minor seventh with a drop down string. Or something like that. The guitar went immediately back in its case.

Apologies to a certain byward market produce vendor. Who knew that the one red pepper I had to have, was the one that was propping up all the other two hundred red peppers. Hey, did you know that red peppers bounce?

If you’re not familiar with the organization ‘Make Poverty History’, get on their website now, www.makepovertyhistory.ca, and sign up your support. This organization was the brain-child of none other than Bono from U2. With a goal of ending child poverty and encouraging our prosperous nation to forgive third world debt, Make Poverty History is catching on. Here at BOB FM we are committed to spreading the word about this important cause. Check out the MPH website and order some white wrist-bands. We’ll be along-side Make Poverty History at strategic events this year, including the U2 concert in November. Do what you can!

non-swimming dogs and spray-on tan disasters

At the cottage on the weekend, I saw something I’ve never seen before. A woman was paddling by in her kayak, and on top of the kayak was a dog wearing a life jacket. I think it was a jack russell terrier and it never occurred to me that maybe a dog with such short little legs just plain can’t swim. Can’t even do the doggie paddle, which is pretty much the only form of swimming I can do. Do they have life jackets for cats too?

Has anyone out there had any luck with those spray-on tans? I was in the drug store the other day and I stood there reading the label of ‘tan in a bottle’. ‘Spray on evenly, towel off excess, don’t shower for 2 days, don’t go outside, don’t move, sit still, don’t wear clothes, don’t apply anywhere near your mouth or eyes, and if used properly you won’t have orange streaks’. Hmm. Sounds like something I should try! If you have any spray-on tanning disaster stories, please share them here. Because, like all things in life, what seems like a good idea at the time always makes a great story later.

I had one of my favourite summer dinners the other night, ‘beer butt chicken’. Take a can of beer, shove it into a chicken, put it on the barbeque, close lid and walk away for 2 ½ hours. Oh yeah, one thing thats really important: if you make beer butt chicken, be sure to OPEN the can of beer first. Otherwise your chicken ends up in the neighbour’s tree.

You still have time to get in on the Ottawa Humane Society Golf Tournament, this Thursday at the Pakenham Golf Course. For details, www.ottawahumane.ca. There will be lots of prizes, a great meal, and I guarantee its the only golf tournament attended by golden retreivers. See you there!

one more time

‘Baby Hit Me One More Time’! Nope, not a Britney Spears song, well ok, I guess it is, but its also the name of NBC’s new reality show, where ‘one hit wonders’ get one more shot at fame and....hmmm....not sure what. I can understand Tiffany being a one hit wonder, and maybe Flock of Seagulls, but I take issue with Loverboy being considered a one hit wonder. ‘The Kid is Hot Tonight’ , ‘Everybody’s Workin’ for the Weekend’, the list goes on! When I first heard about this show I wondered about the phone call from NBC to ‘Flock of Seagulls’....’Hi there this is so-and-so from NBC and we’d like you to be part of our reality show for one hit wonders, are you in? Hell, yes!

I went through Almonte the other day and had to stop for gas. The gas station owner took one look at me and said, ‘You’re not from around these parts, are you’? I drove away wondering what he meant by that. I know that Almonte is ‘west’ of Ottawa, but I hardly thought I was driving through the wild west.

The CHEO telethon is on this weekend on CJOH TV, 7 pm Saturday night til 7 pm Sunday night. We are so incredibly lucky to have such a fine facility here in our hometown. Please take a moment to make a pledge and help our tiny tots.

Thank you to the homeless man who approached me in the Byward Market the other day and gave me a lilac. He asked me to have it because he said it was such a beautiful day and he felt great. Its in a glass of water on my window-sill, and its still beautiful. Ain’t life grand!

Anyone for a Fantasy Foursome?

Congratulations to all the runners who helped to raise over half a million dollars for the Ottawa Hospital during ‘National Capital Race Weekend’! And congratulations to U of O student Shauna Burke for climbing Mount Everest this past weekend! Truly inspired, today I took the stairs instead of the elevator, up to the third floor!

Canadian Idol is back! I was reading some poll last week that asked ‘who would you like to have pump your gas’? And first-time Canadian Idol winner Ryan Malcolm was the number 2 gas pumper, our very own Prime Minister being number one. I have no idea what that means.

We’re looking forward to the responses in our ‘Fathers Day Fantasy Foursome’ contest with Bayshore Shopping Centre. We need your ultimate fantasy foursome for a game of golf. Could be...lets see....Carmen Electra, David Suzuki, Billy Idol, and you. Or...hmmm....Paris Hilton, Paul Newman, Homer Simpson, and you. Or you and Bono, Eugene Levy, Madonna, and Albert Einstein. The more you use your imagination and convince JR and me that your foursome would be the most fun on the golf course, the better your chance at winning the grand prize: A Father’s Day round of golf for 32 people at the Marshes Golf Course, and dinner at Moxies - compliments of Bayshore Shopping Centre! My fantasy foursome includes Lassie.

I’d like to apologize to the woman behind me line at the grocery store check out. She went home without her big beautiful tomatoes and baby spinach. Because somehow it all came home with me. But I did check my bill, and yes I did pay for that lady’s tomatoes and spinach. Next time this happens I hope I accidentally pay for and get someone else’s Hagen Daz ice cream.