I'm on holiday!

Hi. I mean, bye. I'm away on holiday doing research into family reunions in Woodstock New Brunswick. Back August 8th. I won't forget to write.

Are you hot? I'm hot

How are you dealing with the heat? JR from the ‘Morning After’ on BOB FM visits his local beer store and just stays in the cooler room. At my place we don’t have air conditioning, just a couple of fans. One way for me to beat the heat is to skip dinner and just have a giant bowl of ice cream. Not sure if it cools me down, but who cares.

A listener called us from upper New York State to tell us that she’d been whitewater rafting with Bruce Springsteen last week. She didn’t have tickets to the show in Ottawa because she was too shy to ask him at the time. They were rafting down the Hudson River in the Adirondack Mountain area. She wanted BOB FM to give her some Springsteen tickets, and she promised a secret about Bruce in return. Hmmm. She had to win the tickets fair and square, we couldn’t just give them to her, so we never did find out that secret about the Boss. Oh well. All I could picture was Bruce Springsteen in a wetsuit.

If you have goldfish or your kids have goldfish, maybe you can explain this one. I have a goldfish that looks like he’s no longer living, about every 2nd day. One day he’s belly up, not moving, game over, then the next day he’s swimming around like crazy. This has been going on since January. I have spent about $200 on various medications for this 19 cent fish, and he still pretends he’s expired on Sundays, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. If he’s doing this just for attention, not a bad idea. Here I am writing about him.

Many thanks go out to a wonderful BOB FM listener, Val. Val has offered me a horse. I can’t take the horse right now, as my yard is not big enough, but I sure appreciate the offer.

Looks like they’re going to have to bring in more porta-potties at Bluesfest. The beer sales are soaring this year and the line-ups for johnny-on-the-spot are crazy. People are dancing more in the loo line than they are watching the live bands. I’m ok with porta-potties as long as there’s still some light in the sky. As soon as the porta-potty is under the dark of night, and I can’t see what lies in wait, thats when things get sticky. Sorry about that.

Stayin' Cool and Porta Blues

Sandy’s Blog
July 13, 2005

How are you dealing with the heat? JR from the ‘Morning After’ on BOB FM visits his local beer store and just stays in the cooler room. At my place we don’t have air conditioning, just a couple of fans. One way for me to beat the heat is to skip dinner and just have a giant bowl of ice cream. Not sure if it cools me down, but who cares.

A listener called us from upper New York State to tell us that she’d been whitewater rafting with Bruce Springsteen last week. She didn’t have tickets to the show in Ottawa because she was too shy to ask him at the time. They were rafting down the Hudson River in the Adirondack Mountain area. She wanted BOB FM to give her some Springsteen tickets, and she promised a secret about Bruce in return. Hmmm. She had to win the tickets fair and square, we couldn’t just give them to her, so we never did find out that secret about the Boss. Oh well. All I could picture was Bruce Springsteen in a wetsuit.

If you have goldfish or your kids have goldfish, maybe you can explain this one. I have a goldfish that looks like he’s no longer living, about every 2nd day. One day he’s belly up, not moving, game over, then the next day he’s swimming around like crazy. This has been going on since January. I have spent about $200 on various medications for this 19 cent fish, and he still pretends he’s expired on Sundays, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. If he’s doing this just for attention, not a bad idea. Here I am writing about him.

Many thanks go out to a wonderful BOB FM listener, Val. Val has offered me a horse. I can’t take the horse right now, as my yard is not big enough, but I sure appreciate the offer.

Looks like they’re going to have to bring in more porta-potties at Bluesfest. The beer sales are soaring this year and the line-ups for johnny-on-the-spot are crazy. People are dancing more in the loo line than they are watching the live bands. I’m ok with porta-potties as long as there’s still some light in the sky. As soon as the porta-potty is under the dark of night, and I can’t see what lies in wait, thats when things get sticky. Sorry about that.

Tough to Stay Outta the Trees

Sandy’s Blog
July 7, 2005


It looks like Ottawa Senators hockey is returning to the Nation’s Capital! Did you miss it? I know I did. While CBC TV made a valiant attempt to entertain us every Saturday night with movies like ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark’ introduced by Ron McLean, it just wasn’t the same. This past year I missed going to the games. I even missed Spartacat and his Master Blaster. Nothing like enjoying a turkey sub that just travelled seventy feet through the air. Welcome back, Wade Redden, Mike Fisher, and Alfie. And welcome, Domenic Hasek. Its a heck of a lot better having you on our side. This fall I will look forward to being part of the west-bound Queensway convoy to the Corel Centre, making that long frigid walk through the parking lot, buying $11.00 beers, running into everyone I know on the Corel Centre concourse, and, oh yeah, watching a great hockey game. Even the Leafs fans will not bug me this year. Well, maybe not that last one.

This week I spent an entire afternoon in the trees. Thank you to the Suderman brothers, owners of Camp Fortune, for an incredible experience at ‘Aerial Adventure’. The best way to describe ‘Aerial Adventure’, is to call it an obstacle course way high up in the trees. You are strapped into a harness and you are 100 percent safe, a concept you sometimes forget when you are straddling suspension bridges, diving off tree-top platforms, swinging on giant ropes and, in my case, dangling helplessly on occasion. The staff is always there to help you if you get caught in a ‘predicament’, as I did at the snowboarding section. My excitement at the thought of snowboarding from tree-top to tree-top turned into a fairly embarrassing moment, the snowboard sailed to the tree without me, leaving me dangling like a pair of underwear on a clothes-line. Camp Fortune’s ‘Aerial Experience’ ranges from exhilarating to scary to hysterical to funny, and I can’t wait to do it again. For info, check out www.campfortune.com. Do it with your spouse and you will trust them forever.

For about a month, I’ve been playing a little game with gas stations. When the gas is up around 95 cents, I just get a little bit of gas, thinking it will be much lower the next day. The next day, its around 96 cents. So I do the same thing. I have been in denial, driving around on fumes, waiting and praying for the gas to come down. This concept I also apply to my gas lawn mower and my 9.9 hp outboard boat motor. Maybe thats why my lawn is only half cut and I can only go for a two minute boat ride. But I’m sure one of these days, the gas will return to 59 cents a litre. It will happen, I’m sure of it. This gas stuff reminds me of a boyfriend I had a long time ago, who used to charge me the gas money to pick me up for a date. Our dates always started with me handing him two bucks for gas. If I was still with him, each date would probably run me about thirty bucks. Then again, if I was still with this guy, I’d have a lot greater problems than paying for gas! Sheesh

Live 8 Was Great

The statistics are out, and they’re impressive. One in three households in Canada watched the Live 8 concerts this past Saturday, some 10.8 million Canadians. The viewership peaked when Neil Young took the stage in Barrie and belted out ‘Keep on Rockin’ in the Free World’, with a little help from the Tragically Hip, Gordon Lightfoot, Bruce Cockburn and Blue Rodeo among others. It was a Canadian music lover’s dream. But more importantly, Live 8 raised the world’s awareness of the devastating poverty that continues to haunt Africa. As the leaders of the 8 richest nations gather at the G-8 Summit in Scotland, it is hoped that they got the message the world was sending. Ours is the generation that must help these people. Please log onto www.makepovertyhistory.ca and add your support. The effects of Live 8 will continue long after these concerts, but in the meantime, you can also go to www.live8live.com and download the day’s opener, ‘Sgt Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band’ with Bono and Paul MacCartney, as well as the big Hyde Park finale with our favourite Beatle leading Elton John, Eric Clapton, Sting and others in a very emotionally charged ‘The Long and Winding Road’. Proceeds to these downloads go directly to helping the poor in Africa. Well done, Sir Bob Geldof.

Did you hear the one about Bruce Springsteen playing an impromptu gig at the Iceland Airport? On his way home from his European tour, (so he can rest up for his next gig, which is right here in Ottawa on July 13th!!) Bruce’s plane had to stop and re-fuel in Iceland. He pulled out his acoustic guitar and played six songs for airport workers. Sure beat watching the in-flight movie, ‘Fat Albert’.

Speaking of Bruce, make sure you join JR and me right here at the radio station for the ‘Bruce Springsteen Ticket Swap’, at 8 this Sunday morning. Come to BOB FM’s parking lot on York armed with the most creative, inventive, sentimental and/or valuable thing you own. Then swap it for a pair of 100 level Bruce Springsteen tickets. Your item will be judged by a non-biased panel, and if you don’t get chosen for the swap, you can still enter our draw for a pair of beautiful Boss seats. I sure hope someone shows up with a pony.

Its Bluesfest week and that means another round of ‘chair sitters’ vs ‘standers’ the concert. May the person with the biggest voice win. Or the biggest lawn chair.

Show Us Your Stuff!

June 29, 2005


Thank you to the Certified General Accountants of Ottawa for inviting me to MC the golf tournament for Big Sisters/Big Brothers of Ottawa, although the request for me to tell ‘accountant jokes’ at the dinner is a bit of a challenge. I am not one to remember jokes, but I did check on the internet and lo and behold, there are thousands of accountant jokes! But my personal favourite: why was the accountant so excited that it was Saturday? Because he gets to wear casual clothes to work! Now you can see why I don’t tell jokes.

Friday morning, Glass Tiger lead singer Alan Frew is joining us in the studio on ‘the Morning After Show’ on Bob FM. He’ll not only treat us to some stories about appearing on the hit NBC show, ‘Hit Me Baby One More Time’, he’s also coming with food! Alan’s wife Marcy has created a new line of salad dressings, appropriately called ‘Marcy’s’ dressings. He’s bringing a cooler full for us to try. We’re not used to delicious, healthy food in morning radio. Usually I’m surrounded by people eating microwaved pizza pops or hot dogs at 6 in the morning.

Saturday is ‘Live 8’ day. I for one hope it rains on Saturday, so I don’t feel so guilty watching TV indoors on a beautiful sunny day. JR and I were wondering if the CTV coverage is being hosted by Ben Mulroney. Uh oh. Anyhow, it should be an awesome day, with Live 8 being beamed all over the world, some 1.2 billion people expected. The day of entertainment does send out an important message, so check out the website www.makepovertyhistory.ca to get all the background info you need. And wear your white wrist-band!

Thanks to BOB FM listeners for their concern about my snapping turtle nest. A female laid 24 eggs in my lawn last week, then buried them. To keep the eggs safe from marauding skunks or raccoons, I was told to get my husband to ‘pee’ on the turtle egg nest. I must admit its one of the stranger things I’ve requested of my husband. The eggs are supposed to hatch on September 3rd. So far, none of my friends has stepped in to offer to host a turtle shower for me.

If you don’t have Bruce Springsteen tickets, mark it on your calendar: Sunday morning, July 10th. JR and I will be out in the parking lot of the radio station, here at 87 George Street in the market. Decide what you’d be willing to trade for Springsteen tickets. It could be anything. Signed Springsteen memorabilia, a bike, a high definition TV, your concert ticket stub collection, a lawn mower, wedding gifts you’ve never used, your lava lamp collection, a pressure washer, whatever. You simply exchange your stuff for our tickets. The more creative, the better! This is one of those contests I wish I could enter myself.

Happy Canada Day! See you on Parliament Hill. I’ll be the one wearing red and

Chair people versus Standing People

June 24, 2005


The count-down is on! Just a few days before the kids are outta school! Not having any kids, I miss out on the ultimate glee that kids feel at this time of year. I remember the last day of school, and I’m not sure if this holds true today, but somehow I always had the kind of teacher who gave us a test on the very last morning before we were finally let out for the summer. I spent the whole time starting out the class window. The first thing I did when I finally got out of school was catch a big jar of bees or frogs. Somehow they always escaped. Growing up on Alta Vista Drive, I’m pretty sure we had the only backyard that was filled with frogs the entire summer. Never went to camp but my two brothers, Paul and Bob did. When my brother Paul was at camp he mailed a letter back to my parents that said, ‘hi. We’re ok, food is ok. Bob threw up. Love, Paul’.

Its cottage squatter time, too. This is JR’s term for people who don’t have a cottage but show up unexpected at other people’s cottages each weekend with 6 hot dogs and a 6 pack of Wildcat beer. Then, come Sunday night, they leave with their 6-pack of Wildcat.

I was driving down the Queensway the other day behind a Harley that had one of those side-cars. In the side car was a dog. Ears flapping, lips flapping, he looked pretty cool. He even seemed to be snickering at the dog next to him in the front seat of a mini van. Don’t know where you buy a motorcycle helmet for a dog, but this dog had one.

It wouldn’t be an Ottawa summer without the return of the great debate. People who attend summer music festivals are once again divided into two groups: those who stand and those who bring lawn chairs. I usually get to a music festival early and stand. Its not long before someone in a lawn chair is shouting at me to get out of the way. Where do you stand, er, or sit, on this issue? I suggest that people who bring chairs don’t want to stand because its hard on their legs. So, here’s my solution: festival organizers rig up rows and rows of ‘Jolly Jumpers’. You know those contraptions that are hooked up to doorways, there’s a seat and you plunk your infant into it. The kid is in a standing position, but he’s not using any leg muscles to stand. So the people who go to Bluesfest can leave their chairs at home, climb into a jolly jumper, and everyone’s happy. What do you think?

Summer in the City!

Happy summer! Its finally officially here. Its time to kick back and relax and enjoy the time of year we wait for ....for months and months and months. I’m pretty happy about the fact that I just finished a major landscaping project which meant that I was picking up hundreds of rocks from the side of the road. I was never really sure if this was legal. Who owns the rocks on the side of the road? Best not to ask, I guess. Its a bit of a ‘grey area’. So, whenever I found a road-side stash of nice looking boulders, as soon as I heard a car coming, I hid behind a tree. You can never be too careful. I’d hate to be apprehended for stealing somebody else’s rocks.

A report just came out identifying Ottawa as the least expensive North American city in which to live. I heard about this report a day after coming back from a weekend in Toronto, which is one of the most expensive cities. While in Toronto, four of us were charged a five dollar cover just to get into a restaurant. Sheesh! But nothing tops Belize City, where not only do you have to pay to use a public washroom, you have to pay extra for toilet paper. A dollar a square. No wonder everyone stayed away from the refried beans.

While in Toronto, my husband and I stumbled right into a Hillary Duff video that was being filmed off King Street. No one in Toronto seemed to care that this was going on. Thats one of the differences between Toronto and Ottawa. A few years back, Yasmine Bleeth was in Ottawa to film a movie. She was on the front page of the Ottawa Sun every day she was here. Crowds tailed here everywhere she went. She complained. She even cried. I wonder what Yasmine Bleeth is doing these days. Maybe she should come back to Ottawa!

Thanks to BOB FM’s very own Milky for his fast fingers. Milky had the magic touch when it came time to buy Bruce Springsteen tickets on line. My streak of getting shut out of concert tickets from internet sales continues, but Milky somehow got through on the website and got me a pair. Problem is, he still has my credit card number. If an Ottawa Renegades beer fridge ends up on my Visa bill, I’ll know why. p.s. if you didn’t get Springsteen tickets, not to worry, we are giving them away here on 939 BOB FM!

Bruce the Boss and Bruce the Shark

Your reaction to the announcement that Live 8 is playing TORONTO, not OTTAWA, on July 2nd may have been the same as mine. Oh sure, once again, Toronto gets everything. But then I thought about it for a minute. And, as difficult as this is for me, I have put my ‘Toronto-gets-everything’ angst aside for this. The Live 8 concert needs to be in Canada. Somewhere in Canada. May as well hold it in a city that knows how to handle 150,000 people. The message is too important, and if you want specifics, check the makepovertyhistory.ca website. We need to make a big splash to send a message about finally doing something for the impoverished people in the world.

And now onto something frivolous. Its mosquito season. Stopped in at my favourite Giant Tiger store the other day and saw the funniest weapon yet in the war against mosquitoes. Its a hand held mosquito zapper that takes batteries and is shaped exactly like a tennis racquet. You simply sit out on your deck and swing away at the bugs, and the mesh of the racquet takes their lights right out. It looks like you’re playing a game of solo tennis when in fact you’re ridding your environment of mosquitoes. I suspect in the hands of Venus or Serena Williams, this thing is deadly.

Do you have your plan of attack yet for Bruce Springsteen tickets? 10 o’clock Monday, here we go again. This time there are two websites you can buy tickets from, www.capitaltickets.ca (a personal disaster for me), or you can try your luck at the House of Blues website, www.hob.ca. Then of course there’s always the option of standing in line at the Cataraqui Town Centre Sports Experts in Kingston.

This Monday on the morning show, we will be celebrating the 30th anniversary of the movie ‘Jaws’. Courtesy of the good folks at CD Warehouse, we have tons of copies of the new Jaws Anniversary dvd to give away. Time to bone up on your Jaws trivia! Seems fitting that we’re having a ‘Jaws’ themed show on the day Bruce Springsteen tickets go on sale, because the shark in the movie was named Bruce. Bit of a stretch, I know. Good luck on Monday!!!

Orange grooms and orange popsicles

Thank you to the people who have written to me about their ‘spray-on tan’ stories. Most have a common theme, someone needs a tan fast for some occasion, like a wedding. I especially enjoyed Mike’s story. On the night before his wedding, he sprayed himself up and down and sideways to look good for wedding day. Didn’t bother to read the instructions on the fake tan bottle. Now he has a photo on his mantle that he will always cherish. The wedding party surrounded by orange day lilies. And Mike’s skin is exactly the same color. A nice orange.

On the morning show, somehow we got on the topic of Dickie Dee ice cream vendors. Isn’t this one of the hardest jobs in the world? You have to peddle fudgicles around on the hottest days of the summer, often times up hill all the way, and all you want to do is eat the profits. Our producer Matt Hamer tried it for one day as a summer job then parked the thing in his garage. He ate so many popsicles, he owed the company money at the end of the day.

With summer here, I’m trying my best to eat healthy, especially a lot of fish. The other day I went to a fish vendor. The clerk was super friendly, we talked about the weather, reality television, what its like working around a deep fish smell all day, stuff like that. Finally I said I wanted to try something different, so the fish vendor suggested sea bass. So I said sure, I’ll have two sea bass fillets. When I got to the cash, the total for two sea bass fillets was $38. My jaw dropped. I wanted to put the fish back but I thought I was in too deep. The moral of the story is, if you chat up a fish vendor, then you find out its $38 for two fillets, its your own fault, and you have to keep the fish. If you make no personal connection whatsoever with a fish vendor, you are not committed to keeping the fish. Just an observation you may find useful some day.

I’m no music critic, but I sure love the new Oasis album, ‘Don’t Believe the Truth’. I’m off to Toronto this weekend to see Oasis, and I can’t wait because these guys are amazing in concert. There are a lot of comparisons to the Beatles music, so its kinda ironic that Ringo Starr’s son Zak Starkey is playing drums for Oasis. The last time I saw Oasis at Molson Park, my buddy was working backstage and tried to stop Liam Gallagher from driving madly around the area in a golf cart. The incident ended with Liam driving the golf cart right into a wall. How’s that for rock and roll.

It is my pleasure to MC an upcoming golf tournament for the Canada-Africa Community Health Alliance. This is an organization that delivers much-needed medical supplies to Africa’s poor, and they need your help. Call up your golfing buddies and book off Wednesday June 22nd. Its a full day of golf, an awesome dinner and prizes, at the Kingsway Golf and Country Club just a short drive away in Aylmer. Golf and dinner just $95, dinner only is $40. Call the Kingsway for more info, 827-1855. Hope to see you, I’ll be the one passing out the prizes. Tough job but someone’s gotta do it! It’ll be a great time.

The Boss is back!!!

June 8, 2005


The boss is coming back!!!!! Yay!!! Bruce Springsteen is bringing his acoustic tour to the Corel Centre this July 13th, and ‘tramps like us’ are ecstatic. Not only ‘cause we get to see him this summer, but we don’t have to drive for 8 hours to catch the show! How many times have you seen Bruce? (26 or 27 for me!) Do you have any Bruce stories you want to share? I will very gladly pass ‘em along or yak about them on the morning show. Yahoo!!! I’ve met Bruce Springsteen twice, actually shared a hot tub with him for about an hour in a hotel in Toronto. This was one of the top moments of my life. Well, that and winning a frozen turkey at a church bingo when I was seven. And of course, keep your radio on BOB FM, as we will definitely be giving away tickets!!

I’m learning how to play the guitar. My husband plays guitar, so he gave me a lesson the other night. Things were going OK with the G and the C chord, until the song I was learning required an F minor seventh with a drop down string. Or something like that. The guitar went immediately back in its case.

Apologies to a certain byward market produce vendor. Who knew that the one red pepper I had to have, was the one that was propping up all the other two hundred red peppers. Hey, did you know that red peppers bounce?

If you’re not familiar with the organization ‘Make Poverty History’, get on their website now, www.makepovertyhistory.ca, and sign up your support. This organization was the brain-child of none other than Bono from U2. With a goal of ending child poverty and encouraging our prosperous nation to forgive third world debt, Make Poverty History is catching on. Here at BOB FM we are committed to spreading the word about this important cause. Check out the MPH website and order some white wrist-bands. We’ll be along-side Make Poverty History at strategic events this year, including the U2 concert in November. Do what you can!

non-swimming dogs and spray-on tan disasters

At the cottage on the weekend, I saw something I’ve never seen before. A woman was paddling by in her kayak, and on top of the kayak was a dog wearing a life jacket. I think it was a jack russell terrier and it never occurred to me that maybe a dog with such short little legs just plain can’t swim. Can’t even do the doggie paddle, which is pretty much the only form of swimming I can do. Do they have life jackets for cats too?

Has anyone out there had any luck with those spray-on tans? I was in the drug store the other day and I stood there reading the label of ‘tan in a bottle’. ‘Spray on evenly, towel off excess, don’t shower for 2 days, don’t go outside, don’t move, sit still, don’t wear clothes, don’t apply anywhere near your mouth or eyes, and if used properly you won’t have orange streaks’. Hmm. Sounds like something I should try! If you have any spray-on tanning disaster stories, please share them here. Because, like all things in life, what seems like a good idea at the time always makes a great story later.

I had one of my favourite summer dinners the other night, ‘beer butt chicken’. Take a can of beer, shove it into a chicken, put it on the barbeque, close lid and walk away for 2 ½ hours. Oh yeah, one thing thats really important: if you make beer butt chicken, be sure to OPEN the can of beer first. Otherwise your chicken ends up in the neighbour’s tree.

You still have time to get in on the Ottawa Humane Society Golf Tournament, this Thursday at the Pakenham Golf Course. For details, www.ottawahumane.ca. There will be lots of prizes, a great meal, and I guarantee its the only golf tournament attended by golden retreivers. See you there!

one more time

‘Baby Hit Me One More Time’! Nope, not a Britney Spears song, well ok, I guess it is, but its also the name of NBC’s new reality show, where ‘one hit wonders’ get one more shot at fame and....hmmm....not sure what. I can understand Tiffany being a one hit wonder, and maybe Flock of Seagulls, but I take issue with Loverboy being considered a one hit wonder. ‘The Kid is Hot Tonight’ , ‘Everybody’s Workin’ for the Weekend’, the list goes on! When I first heard about this show I wondered about the phone call from NBC to ‘Flock of Seagulls’....’Hi there this is so-and-so from NBC and we’d like you to be part of our reality show for one hit wonders, are you in? Hell, yes!

I went through Almonte the other day and had to stop for gas. The gas station owner took one look at me and said, ‘You’re not from around these parts, are you’? I drove away wondering what he meant by that. I know that Almonte is ‘west’ of Ottawa, but I hardly thought I was driving through the wild west.

The CHEO telethon is on this weekend on CJOH TV, 7 pm Saturday night til 7 pm Sunday night. We are so incredibly lucky to have such a fine facility here in our hometown. Please take a moment to make a pledge and help our tiny tots.

Thank you to the homeless man who approached me in the Byward Market the other day and gave me a lilac. He asked me to have it because he said it was such a beautiful day and he felt great. Its in a glass of water on my window-sill, and its still beautiful. Ain’t life grand!

Anyone for a Fantasy Foursome?

Congratulations to all the runners who helped to raise over half a million dollars for the Ottawa Hospital during ‘National Capital Race Weekend’! And congratulations to U of O student Shauna Burke for climbing Mount Everest this past weekend! Truly inspired, today I took the stairs instead of the elevator, up to the third floor!

Canadian Idol is back! I was reading some poll last week that asked ‘who would you like to have pump your gas’? And first-time Canadian Idol winner Ryan Malcolm was the number 2 gas pumper, our very own Prime Minister being number one. I have no idea what that means.

We’re looking forward to the responses in our ‘Fathers Day Fantasy Foursome’ contest with Bayshore Shopping Centre. We need your ultimate fantasy foursome for a game of golf. Could be...lets see....Carmen Electra, David Suzuki, Billy Idol, and you. Or...hmmm....Paris Hilton, Paul Newman, Homer Simpson, and you. Or you and Bono, Eugene Levy, Madonna, and Albert Einstein. The more you use your imagination and convince JR and me that your foursome would be the most fun on the golf course, the better your chance at winning the grand prize: A Father’s Day round of golf for 32 people at the Marshes Golf Course, and dinner at Moxies - compliments of Bayshore Shopping Centre! My fantasy foursome includes Lassie.

I’d like to apologize to the woman behind me line at the grocery store check out. She went home without her big beautiful tomatoes and baby spinach. Because somehow it all came home with me. But I did check my bill, and yes I did pay for that lady’s tomatoes and spinach. Next time this happens I hope I accidentally pay for and get someone else’s Hagen Daz ice cream.

Who's Got Tickets?

Ok, Ok...so Bo didn’t win American Idol. Obviously rockers don’t buy into that ‘text messaging’ thing. That’s probably why he lost.

I’m starting to think, that when I was born, some super power bigger than me said, ‘and this person here, who was just born, shall have much difficulty buying concert tickets, especially the year 2005’. Like everyone else, I’ve been so excited and impressed by all the concerts coming right here to Ottawa! U2 - wow!! I couldn’t get tickets to that one, nope. I signed up for the ‘pre-sale’ for Coldplay in Montreal, and Coldplay sent me back an e-mail saying that I was not chosen for the pre-sale at this time. Then I signed up for the Pearl Jam pre-sale, and Pearl Jam wouldn’t accept my email address. For the Rolling Stones, I let my husband handle it. He paid $100 for the pre-sale rights, and when the day came, he was offered a pair of tickets in the last row at the far end of the stadium, so he didn’t go for them, because he was sure something better would come up. After all, this was the pre-sale! Nope! No tickets for the Stones. I suppose I’m whining a bit. Sorry about that. I don’t mean to. Besides, there’s a good chance I’ll win a bet with JR this weekend, and I’ll win a pair of his U2 tickets. If the Stones Ottawa show sells out by midnight Saturday (my prediction), I win a pair of JR’s U2 tickets. If the Stones don’t sell out by midnight Saturday, I have to bring my manual push mower over to his house in Kanata and cut his lawn. I really hope I don’t have to do this.

My basement is sinking. Not the whole basement, just one side of the room that holds my 6 foot long aquarium that has five goldfish in it. So, this weekend there may be men in my house lifting up the floor, so the aquarium is going to have to go outside in the backyard for a while, fish and all. Seeing as how its also mosquito breeding season, I figure my 6 foot aquarium will be perfect for about a million mosquito larvae. I’ll let you know what happens once the aquarium is back in the house. I may have to go outside to escape the mosquitoes in the house. So, what’s up for your weekend?

Bye for now!

BOB has all the Stones!

Ottawa Citizen film critic Jay Stone is back in the real world after spending the last 2 weeks at the Cannes Film Festival. I particularly enjoy the segment around 8:40 each Friday on Bob FM’s ‘the Morning After’ when Jay gives his latest film review. But there’s something extra special when you’re talking to Jay by phone, and he’s standing on his balcony overlooking semi-clad stars on the Riviera, and he has a pair of binoculars, just in case an A-lister like Angelina Jolie happens by. It doesn’t get any more real than that. Wonder if Jay picked up a couple of Cannes t-shirts for folks back home.

Word is out about the support acts for the Stones show at Lansdowne, August 28th. Here in town, we will enjoy Les Trois Accords, and Our Lady Peace, before the Stones take to the stage. And remember, if you get shut out from buying any tickets, the show is taking place during the Ex, so I suggest you ride the roller coaster or the double ferris wheel. At least on the double ferris wheel, sometimes it gets stuck at the top, so you’ll get an extra long look at Mick and Keith.

Went to Yuk Yuks the other night, and laughed my head off. I had a pretty bad cold and so my laugh ended up sounding like very loud dry choking. There were five comics on the bill, including Ottawa’s Rick Currie, very talented guy. When he takes his dog camping, his dog sits on a rock overlooking the lake, and barks at his own echo. I think I myself have done this once or twice.

Its the season for golf tournaments. Although I don’t golf, I love the clothes. If you’re a golfer, call the Humane Society right now at 725-3166, or get all the info at www.ottawahumane.ca! I will be at the ‘Fore the Animals’ Golf Tourney, Thursday June 9th at gorgeous Pakenham Highlands Golf Club. This is one of those tournaments where everyone has a lot of laughs and no one goes home empty handed. Including me. Three years ago during the tourney prize auction, I was the highest bidder on a will. Thanks to the Humane Society Golf Tournament, I now have a legal document that will officially pass along all my debts to my family! It really is a fun time so please join us - check out the website for details!

One more night of tv, then I'm gettin' outside!

Go, Bo, go! Bo Bice on American Idol has made it to the final two, and I want him to win, but I have mixed feelings about it. If he wins, thats great for his career. Or is it? Because the minute an American Idol is chosen, they get handed the worst piece of shlock song and they have to go out and belt it out as the credits roll. I’m having trouble seeing Bo the rocker sing that inevitable schmaltz tune on stage, much less have to release it as his first single. All that aside, my vote is for Bo! I just hope his first single doesn’t end up in a tv commercial for womens products.

Yahoo! Its the first long weekend of unofficial summer. The tulip festival concert line-up is jammed all weekend long. I saw the Sadies the other night at Majors Hill Park and you know, for my money, you just can’t beat some of the lyrics that come out of alt-country bands. Here’s how one song started: “I saw two three-legged dogs that reminded me of you because you’re six feet underground’. If you’re checking out some of the bands this weekend, whatever you do, don’t stand in front of someone who’s plunked down their lawn chair for the night. I speak from experience! Sheesh.

Its cottage season once again! Remember to practice safe boating. Make sure your boat has a flashlight, a rope, some flares and a horn. And if you’re waterskiing, always ensure you have a spotter in the boat to keep their eye on the skier. And one more piece of advice: do not stuff an old pair of boots and pants and a shirt with newspaper to create a human form topped off with a basketball for a head and a wig and a baseball cap , then place this figure in the back of your boat to look like a spotter. Because one day, you will get a fine for doing that. Don’t ask me how I know.

Have an awesome long weekend

Black Crowes, Horses and One Mother Spider

Saw the ‘Black Crowes’ in Montreal this past weekend, and here is my review: if you like big time jammin’, this is a band you wanna see. Every time they launched into a song that I knew, oh, let’s say, ‘Remedy’ or ‘Hard to Handle’...the song would then morph into a 20 minute jam, with big guitar solo’s and even the odd drum solo. Lead singer Chris Robinson was fun to watch, but I didn’t get enough of him. He would kinda sway and groove in the background while his guitarist brother Rich and the rest of the band would play and play and play, and by the time Chris grabbed the mike to sing again, I’d pretty well forgotten which song it was to begin with. I think the musicians in the crowd probably loved the show. Since the only musical instrument I ever mastered was the ‘triangle’, and there was no ‘triangle’ player in the Black Crowes, I kinda left wanting more in the singing department. But maybe thats just me. And any other triangle players in the crowd.

Controversy is rearing its head once again in the byward market. One of the restaurant owners is complaining about the horse and carriage rides that pick up tourists outside his establishment. Says the smell of the horses is not appetizing, and that customers are driven away. To that I say ‘neigh’! The horses and carriages add color and fun to the market, and the tourists love it. Besides, I watch these guys all the time and they make the horses wear some kind of horsey ‘Depends’, which I’m sure is embarrassing for the horse, but it definitely minimizes the you-know-what. Lets keep the horses in the market! Now, the mime artists, thats another story.

Speaking of adding color to our city, how do you feel about the giant spider sculpture outside the National Gallery? I think its fantastic. People who don’t like spiders are not crazy about it, which I guess is understandable. A few years back, I started to see spiders in a whole new light, thanks to ‘Far Side’ cartoons. Far Side creator Gary Larsen’s take on spiders was always hysterical. If you’re afraid of spiders, get a Far Side cartoon book. Then go down to the National Gallery and get your picture taken beside the mother of them all. No more spider phobia! Now if I could just take care of my ‘clown’ phobia.

One final note, I’d like to pass along best wishes to all you Star Wars fans. With the new movie out this week, it must be like Christmas! Remember, you are being counted on to save the lagging movie industry. Try to see Revenge of the Sith eight or nine times, instead of the usual three or four. That way movie producers will still have money to make movies with Will Ferrell and Ben Stiller.

Bye for now!

You Know You're An Ottawan When........

Sandy’s Blog
May 12, 2005


On the morning show, we stumbled on a way to determine whether or not someone has lived in Ottawa all their life. Ask that person if he/she has ever heard of ‘Jimmy Knox and Thee Group’, and the song, ‘Its a Long Way Home’. If they have, they are an ‘Ottawan, born and raised’. I ran into the one and only Jimmy Knox in a byward market establishment and he seemed genuinely surprised that I knew his name and the title of his big, albeit ‘regional’ late 70’s hit. When we chatted about him , and his song ‘Its a Long Way Home’ on the air, listeners called to sing the song. And the only ones that knew it were people who have lived here their entire lives. Aha!! I knew that one day I would be rewarded for living in Ottawa this long. I hope this story doesn’t divide the city.

Its the start of the live music line-up at the Tulip Festival! The first thing I do when I get to Majors Hill Park is stop by that giant lemon on wheels for some lemon-ade. Then I join the crowd patiently waiting for the first band to come out on stage. I usually stand near the VIP section. I figure, since these people are VIP’s, they must have the best spot. Usually its an area surrounded by a white picket fence. Kinda like a VIP corral. All the VIP’s are inside the VIP corral, and we are just outside the VIP corral. Other than that, the vantage point is the same. Can’t wait!

Hope you can join us at ‘Dogmania’ this Saturday! Its a day-long fundraiser for B.A.R.K (www.bark-Ottawa.com) , Canines for a Cause, and Cystic Fibrosis. Bring your dog! There will be contests, entertainment, prizes, and animal intuitive Elizabeth Wright will read your dog’s mind!! Its at the Aberdeen Pavilion, Lansdowne Park, Saturday from 10 to 5.
For more info check www.dogmania.org.
I will be there around 11 to judge some contests, including dog/owner lookalike. Dalmations and their owners who wear polka dots always seem to win this one. Admission to Dogmania is whatever donation you can make!

Thanks to Mike Hillary from Hillary Cleaners for his constant generosity. Mike is now offering to dry clean all of the Rolling Stones clothing when they are in town. A couple of months back he offered to do the same with the members of U2. No word on whether Mike’s offer has been extended to Loverboy.

Bye for now!

Signs, signs, everywhere are signs

May 9, 2005


The warm weather is finally here and for me, that means I’m back in the garden. And in my neighbourhood, it also means the black flies are back. The other day while digging up everything that died over the winter, I swallowed two black flies. Mmmm...taste like chicken!

I recently checked in with one of my favourite websites, www.weeklyworldnews.com. Not only do they keep us up to date with the whereabouts of ‘Bat Boy’, in the last installment they featured the world’s funniest store slogans. Here are some: On a sign outside a tire shop: ‘Invite us to your next blowout’. The slogan for a New York gynecologist: ‘Dr Jones, at your cervix’. A radiator repair shop in Ohio: ‘ this is a great place to take a leak’. And my personal favourite, this sign outside a sex change surgeon’s office in Illinois: ‘Eat, Drink and Be Mary’. If you see any weird signs, let me know!

Have you been watching ‘The American Race’? This season, I don’t care who wins, as long as its not Rob and Amber. How can Rob go into an airport anywhere in the world and tell the ticket agent not to sell flights to the other contestants? And he seems to get away with it! This couple has a horse-shoe sticking out where the sun don’t shine. I half expect that Rob and Amber could actually saunter up to the month-old line-up of Star Wars fans waiting to see ‘Revenge of the Sith’ next week, and somehow get first in line.

Not sure how I feel about ‘the Gleibermans’ possible return to the Ottawa Renegades organization. JR’s buddy spotted Lonnie Gleiberman the other day in downtown Ottawa wearing a suit, riding his 10 speed bike with a back-pack on. Not sure what that says about a potential owner of our football team. I hope the Renegades work it all out, because I would have nowhere to go with my big red horn and giant foam finger.

Bye for now!